╭ yeunminsu ╯·
there is tension between the two and like a kettle it was gradually rising. jiwan had always been good at hiding how he felt, unlike minsu, when he felt something he confronted it and that’s why it was unsurprising that he would be the one to bring up what happened and do so abruptly. when the question was asked, he seemed to be quiet for a moment, they both knew the answer and still jiwan expected an answer from him. it felt unnecessary and close to being treated as a child, and minsu didn’t like it. he liked to think that he had at least helped doyeon, that his screaming and cursing and attempt to get to the fighting ring to attack doyeon’s opponent had stopped him from continue throwing hits, but it didn’t help with the guilt. “no,” he answered through gritted teeth, forcing the response, jiwan wanted him to say, “i messed up,” a part of him wants to snap, ‘that you already knew, right?’ but he swallowed it down, letting his hand move directly above his hot coffee cup, even if it was very hot, the warmth breezing against his fingers only helped to calm him.
“i did some coke after our drinks at the bar to celebrate,” he wonders if jiwan was already made aware of his first-time drug dabbling or the panic attack he had, because it was like the older knew everything about him. always the first one to get notified by others when he messed up, the first one to know about his wins, about any new injuries. “and then when i saw him get beat up like that, everything just reminded me of —-” of what? he wasn’t there that night with siwoo. “i just panicked. but what was i supposed to do, nothing? just run away, or better yet what if the police hadn’t come, stand there and cheer like the gang wanted me to because he was losing? that ain’t me, hyung.”
╭ ⌑ talking to minsu was always something pleasurable, something that jiwan actually enjoyed doing because the younger was so special to him. he care for him way more than he probably let it show, but this situation asked for a lot of jiwan and he knew he wouldn’t be able to be as harsh as he probably should be with minsu. he was weak, what about it? it’s not like people didn’t have weaknesses. jiwan just couldn’t do that... specially in such a fragile moment. doyeon was still in the hospital and everyone was shaken up by it, but there was absolutely no need for minsu to keep blaming himself for something he didn’t even start in the first place.
he stayed quiet while minsu explained the situation the best way he possibly could, even if things were still kind of confusing inside jiwan’s head. yes, he had been informed of basically everything up until that moment, but it was always better to hear something from the person themselves instead of literally every single hellcat member that came up to him trying to gossip. he didn’t care about most of it -- he cared about minsu’s s a f e t y. ❛ i know. i didn’t expect you to cheer while he was being beaten up. it’s a fucking tragic thing that happened, but you just... can’t blame yourself for it, ❜ jiwan let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head then. ❛ if you’re feeling guilty, then i should feel guilty too. we were both there, and we couldn’t do anything. it happened and it was unfortunate, but it was just too much. i’m sure he’s gonna be okay ❜, he wasn’t sure, but minsu didn’t need to know that. ❛ also... you know i don’t give a shit to the gang rivalry, but you know how people talk. if you’re trying to do something... just lay low. as much as i want to, i can’t protect you from everything. ❜









