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@bokubonk
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hi! i’m mai and i go by she/her.
- here’s my masterlist and my series 1001 memories
- please make sure to check out my rules for requests before you submit anything
- if you want to be notified when i post long fics just fill out my taglist form
- here’s some of my crumbs and my headcanons/blurbs
- check out my ao3 if you want to read my ongoing bokuaka fanfic
thank you for taking the time to visit! feel free to message me if you want to become mutuals :)
Bokuto doesn’t care about the time and place, all he knows are the curves of your lips and the gentleness of your gaze.
The moment you step in his sights, he drops everything. His world blurs at your presence until he can no longer focus on anything else, simply rushing to take you into his arms, molding your body to his and hoping that he never has to let go.
You are his light and there is never a moment that he will hesitate to show you just how much you mean to him.
train to you
warnings: angst, loss, mentions of death
characters: Kyoutani x gn!reader
date: 05/03/21
word count: 300+
notes: I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in so long. I just haven’t been as motivated to do anything lately and I’ve been finding it really hard to come up with new ideas and continue all of the drafts I currently have. I am trying my best to get back into writing though so I hope I can continue updating weekly like I did before.
You glanced out the window of the train, watching everything blur together until objects were mere streaks of color in your vision.
The world outside of the train was much like your own. Your excitement blurring your focus and you could barely hear over the thumping of your heart.
It had been so long since you last saw Kyoutani and your need to see him only increased as the months passed but your busy schedule got in the way of you visiting. After a few sleepless nights of cramming all of your work, you finally managed to leave a day free and of course your first thought was to see him.
You were practically bouncing in your seat and you could feel the other passengers silently judging you but you didn’t care, all that was on your mind now was all the things you wanted to tell him. All the days he had missed and all the moments that reminded you of him.
You sprinted out of your seat once the doors of the train opened, scarf flying behind you as you hurried home. The straps of your bag cut into your hand but you barely felt it over the adrenaline rushing through your body.
Your warm breath fogged up in the air and you smiled, remembering all the times the two of you joked about how it looked like you were smoking. You barely had enough time to drop off the bags at your parents’ house, shouting a quick greeting before hurrying out again.
It was finally time to see him and you urged your legs to run faster, ignoring your burning lungs. You rushed through the gate, heart pounding louder than it ever had before.
You could taste the morning dew on your tongue, the mist dampening your shoes, soaking into your socks. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, desperate pants leaving your lungs as you finally came to a stop.
“Hey,” you breathed, “I’m home.”
You pressed a hand to the gray slab of stone, a smile on your lips as you traced the name carved there.
You sank down onto the grass, “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”
“I missed you.”
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ahhh i’m so sorry i haven’t posted any long fics for the past few weeks. it’s just been really hard for me to find the motivation to continue my drafts but i promise i will try to post soon!!!
letters to my love (or maybe to the moon) | 01
I’ve forgotten what it feels like to call your name. The letters and syllables are an unfamiliar weight on my tongue and I’m unsure if I have the strength to let them fall.
There is an ache in my chest now when I think of you. No more is the joy or the ecstasy or the flurry of butterflies in my stomach.
I’m not sure if happiness will ever feel the same again.
Everything seemed brighter when I was with you. The world was filled with wonders I never noticed before. Sunlight just a little warmer and cold, winter nights a little less lonely.
Now I find myself in museums, looking at paintings and hoping maybe I can find parts of you again, scattered in the curved lips and soft eyes of portraits modeled after strangers.
They don’t do you justice.
- i miss you
Tsukishima hates how easily you can get him to react.
Despite the nonchalant expression he constantly wears, he finds his body betraying him with the way his lips seem to curl up the moment you’re in his sights, his hands automatically reaching out to pull you to his chest.
With very subtle brush of your fingers against his, how gentle your kisses are, even the way your eyes seem to light up when they land on him. Everything makes him fall just a little more in love with you and even when he gets teased for how red his ears get, he can’t deny that he wouldn’t have it any other way; as long as you’re his, nothing else really matters.
“You are loved,” he murmurs, lips pressed to your forehead, hands cupping the curves of your cheeks.
There is a tenderness in his gaze that can’t be explained and you aren’t sure what to say. The weight on your chest refuses to go away so you stare at him through tear clumped lashes, hoping he’ll understand.
And he does.
He pulls you closer, resting his head on top of yours.
“You are loved,” he repeats.
And in this moment, you can’t help but believe him.
idk if it’s just me but i have 40 drafts waiting to be finished but no motivation to continue any of them so i keep coming up with new ideas and writing those instead of focusing on the ones i already have 😭
04 | a bite of an apple
previous | next
You open your eyes to the weight of a blanket that wasn’t there before. Your brows furrow in confusion and it only multiplies when you spot the fresh plate of food sitting on the desk. Normally, your food is left by your door yet today it seems as though someone took it upon themselves to personally deliver it to you.
The thought of someone walking in on you while you were asleep doesn’t sit well with you but your mouth dries when the only person you can recall who would do such a thing is the same man whose hands were wrapped around your neck only a few hours ago.
You unconsciously curl in on yourself, the warmth of his hands still evident and you wish you could erase his touch on your skin. Your eyes flicker towards the assortment of fruits and jams coupled with slices of toast and the longer you stare, the harder it is to deny how truly hungry you are.
With a sigh, you heave your way out of bed, shivering when your bare feet touch the cold floor. For a moment, you hesitate, unsure of whether this is the right decision but when you recall the tired look in his eyes, you begin to wonder whether it was wrong for you to doubt his intentions.
Still, you decide to play it safe and take a bite of an apple, a small smile tugging on your lips when all you can taste is the sweetness of the fruit. Satisfaction pools in your stomach and the thought comes to mind that perhaps you wanted to believe in him.
ASHGISOFSG THIS WHOLE TIME I THOUGHT MY TAGLIST WAS WORKING BUT IT WASN’T 😭😭😭
i think i figured out why though so hopefully y’all get tagged on my next post
03 | monster
previous | next
Today is the third night and he has yet to appear.
Hunger gnaws at your stomach and you can almost feel your consciousness slipping, nausea pounding at your head from how much you just want to give in. But you don’t know who or what to trust and even as your body trembles from how starved you are, you refuse to let go of your suspicion.
Yet, a part of you knows that this is as much an act of defiance as it is for survival and perhaps all you really need are answers.
The clock strikes twelve and a fist knocks on your door.
Your fingers tangle themselves in the bedsheets, unsure of who is waiting for you on the other side. But dread fills your gut from the silence and the definitive change in the air and you don’t want to acknowledge that it is him.
You open the door with a shaky hand and peer around the frame when he pushes his way through, caging you in with one hand behind your head and the other placed against the wall.
He is so close you can’t breathe.
You can practically count his eyelashes and you can’t deny the fury and heat in his eyes.
“Why are you doing this?”
His voice is clear and low and you push against his chest, hoping for any bit of space between the two of you but he refuses to budge.
You clear your throat, turning your gaze away from his so you no longer have to fixate on the intensity of his stare.
“That should be my question. What is all this?”
He merely grabs your chin between his thumb and forefinger, effectively keeping you in place and you find he is closer than before.
“Are you unsatisfied with the meals?”
You shake your head, your hunger being the last thing on your mind.
“No, I mean why am I still alive?”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Would you rather be dead because I think it would be a shame to slit such a pretty neck.”
His finger traces the curve of your jaw before he brings his hand to wrap around your throat, placing just enough pressure to let you know he would be able to crush your windpipe.
You eyes widen and you swallow harshly, willing your voice to be even as you keep your gaze locked on his. “So that’s all this is? A sick game for you to keep me alive to toy with me?”
He scoffs and steps away, bringing his hands back to his sides but you keep yourself pinned to the wall, unwilling to make any sudden movements.
“Contrary to popular belief, I am not a monster.”
Your brows furrow at his words and disbelief writes itself in your expression.
“If you’re not a monster, then what are you?”
Your breath is caught and you are sure that wasn’t the right words to say but he merely tilts his head back, eyes dark in contemplation and there is a look of sorrow that crosses his face that you can’t quite explain.
“I suppose that’s the question.”
He takes another glance at you, finally taking notice of your how thin your clothes are and the slight tremble of your shoulders. He scowls before moving his gaze towards the plate of food sitting untouched on the desk.
“Eat,” he commands, “I am not cruel enough to poison your food when there are easier ways to be rid of someone.”
And with that he exits, leaving you with more unanswered questions than before.
02 | silence bleeds
previous | next
There is an unbearable silence that doesn’t want to be broken and even as you open your mouth to speak, there are no words to be said.
Too many questions to be asked but you aren’t quite sure you want to know the answer and so you simply follow him, hands clenched in fists by your sides, nails close to breaking through skin.
Silence bleeds and shadows stretch and then he stops.
He opens a door and steps back, turning to peer at you. You step inside and take in the minimal state of the room. It is devoid of any decorations and there are only basic necessities to be found - a bed in the corner and a desk opposite.
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry so a broken scoff escapes you instead. Words spilling from your lips like the sunlight pouring into the room.
“What am I doing here?”
You turn to look at him but he is no longer there and his absence leaves more questions you aren’t sure will ever be answered. And for a moment, you wonder if he will be back.
01 | what is your name?
previous | next
You aren’t sure what to think of the man in front of you.
He is rugged, dark eyes and tan skin. You notice that looks to be more shadow than man and the thought doesn’t sit well with you.
The room had cleared out long ago and it is now only the two of you, left peering at one another from an arm’s length distance, but it is still too close. He is still too close and your heart is pounding against your rib cage, terrified by the darkness cloaking his sharp features yet you can’t look away.
His presence foretells of smoke and ruin and you know if you aren’t careful, you will get burned.
“What is your name?”
His voice is deep, deeper than you had initially thought and your eyes widen before you exhale your name, a flurry of slurred letters.
He tilts his head as though contemplating your response, pulling his eyes away from yours to rake over your body. You feel naked under his intense stare despite the layers draped over you and you fight the urge to shiver, goosebumps rising as you remember just how many before you faced him in the same position.
“You will have to do,” he sighs, barely concealing his disappointment with his furrowed brow and the scoff on the tip of his tongue.
You almost flinch, unaware that he would be placing his judgement on you before taking your life and the question escapes your lips before you can stop it.
“Am I not what you expected?”
He pauses mid-step, glancing back at you as though wondering if you had truly asked him that.
“No,” he murmurs, his refusal uttered almost in regret. “You are more.”
as your certified bokubonk beta reader ™, I would just like to tell your readers to get hyped for your new series bc I love everything about it
THANK YOU SO MUCH BUB YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!
hi everyone! i’ve decided to start a new series inspired by 1001 nights. it’ll be a series of snippets/memories and you can find them all linked here.
1001 memories
00 | the twelfth
01 | what is your name?
02 | silence bleeds
03 | monster
04 | a bite of an apple
00 | the twelfth
previous | next
You were the twelfth.
Dressed in silk and doused in milk and honey, you waited like a lamb in line for slaughter. Lips painted red, hands and arms heavy with gold.
You paid no attention to the handful of servants surrounding you, instead you stared over the balcony, gaze pointed at the horizon. It had been hours and dawn was just about to reach, slivers of light peeking above the mountain range surrounding the palace.
It was a warm sight, one that you normally found comfort in, but today you felt your mouth dry and a burning sense of dread in your gut, a coiling snake waiting to strike.
“You’re ready,” they told you, eyes bright as they pawed at the expensive fabric.
Ready.
You wanted to laugh at the statement but you knew of the way their faces would twist in scorn so you bit back your laughter. They stepped away, admiring your smooth skin and dolled up appearance with greed and jealousy in their eyes but you knew the bitter truth: none of them wanted to be you.
After all, you were the twelfth.
The twelfth to wait for the sunrise. The twelfth to stiffen as the footsteps approaching in the hallway grew louder. The twelfth to die at the hands of the man they called king.