What would demons want with our microwave?

[bark-barkley]

I WANT TO LOOK AT THINGS MADE BY HUMAN BEINGS

[softwetmoss]

And also occasionally by pufferfish

[rohirric-hunter]

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

[eviefyres]

[c0ff1nn]

gallons of the stuff!

[pearlesaseas]

Harrow's disdain for spirit magic will never not be funny to me. Like in her world there's literally an alternate level of reality wherein an entire eldritch space river teeming with thousands of dead people that may or may not lead to hell/the afterlife exists, an eldritch space river where you can forcibly bend reality into anything you can imagine. Which Harrow is apparently very good at.

Nearly all of the craziest shenanigans in the locked tomb involve deviously fucked-up spirit magic shenanigans, it is probably the most plot relevant strain of necromancy in the book and ms bone adept is just like ewwww spirit magic so boring more like fucking nerd magic I could never.

[intricate-ritualz]

it fucking wimdy

[avasillva]

#mood

[bunny-super-blues]

felt like noodles tonight :3

[allpiesforourown]

House would treat two gay patients like shit and get sued for being homophobic and cuddy would go "he's not homophobic, he treats everyone like that!" which does not hold up in court so instead he's like how can I be homophobic when I have a boyfriend? Wilson stand up. Everyone would turn to Wilson (who had ZERO warning about this) and he'd stutter before glaring at House and stand "yes, House is unfortunately my boyfriend"

Then they'd walk out of the courtroom and Wilson would chew him out which House ignores. Cue 3 days layer when Wilson says House needs to clear up they lied about being gay to get him off (ha) and they're not actually dating because he is NOT getting any dates like this. House would walk into the hospital cafeteria and yell "ATTENTION EVERYONE. Doctor Wilson is not my boyfriend." Wilson would nod for 2 seconds before House follows up with "because we're engaged!" and Wilson can't even be mad because why did he think for 2 seconds that House would make it easy for him

House would try to use this as an opportunity to demand less clinic hours (think of it as a wedding gift) which he does not get because Cuddy knows exactly what's going on and she thinks it's hilarious but she needs his ass working

Cuddy: yeah? You two are a thing? How big is he?

House: 5.3 inches

Wilson: how the FUCK do you know that

[allpiesforourown]

"House MD is unrealistic" you're right here's my script for a realistic medical show

Patient: I threw up 4 gallons of blood

House: sounds like you need to lose weight

[clungedestroyer]

[wikipedia-the-non-official]

Hey op i am throwing rocks at you

[vexwerewolf]

New gender-neutral bathroom just dropped

[kittyhalk]

Warding off the oncoming depressive episode by reading about very old tortoises

[kittyhalk]

Pleased to report that the 190 year old tortoise is a gay icon

[kittyhalk]

Jonathan is the oldest known land animal btw. I need everyone to know that the oldest animal alive is a gay tortoise

[o-kurwa]

[skulki-d]

I don't say this often, but the French really know what they're doing with this one.

[anexperimentallife]

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[oldmanpusspuss]

I still think its the funniest shit ever that when I used to volunteer at planned parenthood every week even though I walked past mostly the same protesters every single time they were begging me not to get an abortion theres other options yadda yadda. Like meemaw you see me here every week. They call me abortions georg because I get another one every Monday at 8am

[oldmanpusspuss]

Happy monday! *looks at my watch* oh boy time to go get another abortion 😊