Daily Shenanigans of an Indian Household

She/her || Writer, artist, engineer, introvert, anime/manga addict || I document random crazy things happening around || My Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/bongdesigirl/

[bongdesigirl]

A VISITOR AT NIGHT

Rita woke up to a miniature plastic hand to her face and a soft chime of laughter. A low groan escaped her lips as she blindly reached for her phone and pried an eye open.

‘It’s too early to be up’, her body told her and the bright letters reading 3:27am agreed. She’d had a long week and a longer Saturday night and planned to sleep till late the next day – or today now, she supposed.

She rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep, but the plastic hand was back, this time followed by a little huff.

Giving up on further sleep, for the moment, Rita squinted her eyes open to look up at the wan face of the girl standing beside her bed. The pallid face broke out in a grin as it turned around and went to sit in front of the small couch set up in the corner of the room.

It was a stormy night. The heavy drapes covering the windows muted the sounds of the howling wind and pouring rain outside. The room was dark, and the furniture cast deeper shadows into the gloom. The only source of illumination was the dim light spilling from the cracks of the door which led to the hallway – and the faint glow emanating from the girl sitting beside it.

Rita heaved a sigh as she sat up.

“Nani, I’m really tired tonight” she said, rubbing a hand over her eyes.

Nani looked up from the floor where she had gathered the half dozen dolls that usually sat neatly on the various shelves and pieces of furniture lining the room. Her nose scrunched up a little and her eyes were glassy as she said in a hoarse voice, “You’re getting too old to spend time with your Nani, aren’t you? It’s fine I get it.”

“It’s not like that, Nani, I’ve just had a long week.” Rita said tiredly as she got up for bed. Sleep was a lost cause anyway. “Don’t get upset.”

“I didn’t get to talk at all for the whole week while you were away on that stupid trip” Nani said childishly.

Rita was sure this wasn’t entirely true. Sure, Nani couldn’t talk to people, but there was nothing stopping her from talking at people. Rita had once watched Nani talk at Dad for an hour straight about the movie he’d been watching earlier, complete with elaborate hand gestures and dramatic voices.

“It’s fine. I get it. I’ll just leave you, then. You won’t see me here ever again!” Nani said dramatically as she swept up to her feet.

“I wasn’t supposed to see you ever again for the last twelve years”, Rita thought. It was an odd day indeed for seven-year-old Rita as she just didn’t get why everyone was upset about Nani leaving when Nani had just become a seven-year-old like her and started hanging out in her bedroom instead of her old room.

“Nani, wait. I do want to hear about that time you and Nana went to Andaman” Rita said stopping Nani before she disappeared who-knows-where.

Nani’s face lit up in a smile again and the faint glow coming from her person seemed to brighten too.

Even in life, Nani had been something of a chatterbox, and regaled Rita with stories about the places she travelled to and had adventures in with Nana.

“Well, you know,” Nani said as she lowered herself to the floor once more, “Nana and I had that trip planned for the longest time…” Nani’s voice pattered off into nostalgia as she picked up two of the dolls and started recounting her tale with an earnest doll show.

Rita sat down beside her and laughed along with doll Nana. Ghost though she was, no one had quite the story telling skills as her Nani, in her humble opinion. She could always take a nice long nap after breakfast. It was Sunday after all!

[bongdesigirl]

A Lonely Night

Kavya finished typing the last sentence and checked the time. The white numbers at the corner of her screen informed her that midnight had come and gone without her notice.

She shut down her laptop after saving her work and stood up, stretching her muscles as she went and let out a relieved sigh as her spine cracked.

It had been a long day at office and the work had bled over even after she had clocked off for the night. The assignment was important though, so she couldn’t just leave it half-finished either.

The room was slightly chilly, autumn nearly at its end and slowly starting to hand the reigns over to the winter chill. The gentle breeze outside had lost most of its warmth, swapping its pleasantness for a more biting edge.

Picking up her empty water bottle, she ambled her way into the hall where the filter was affixed to the wall. A gentle breeze blew in through the opened windows rustling her hair.

Kavya looked out the window as she filled her bottle. It was almost pitch black outside; the streetlamps barely illuminated the narrow road ahead; the trees on either side of the street cast long shadows on the walls, making it seem as if a million shadowy presences were slinking about in the dark.

“It’s really quiet tonight” Kavya thought, as she switched off the filter and returned to her room. The hairs at the back of her neck stood up. Normally, the thought wouldn’t bother her as much. She lived with three other flat mates, one of whom she shared her bedroom with, and there was constantly some sort of noise in the small space.

If Vinnie wasn’t filling their bedroom with constant snoring, it was Olly tripping over something. And Ana’s late night shower operas were a thing of its own. In short, having a quiet moment to herself was quite rare and precious.

Today however, Anayra was out of town, travelling for work reasons. Olivia had taken the week off to attend a cousin’s wedding. Vinita had been reluctant to leave her completely alone for the night, but Kavya knew she had been looking forward to spending the night with her boyfriend. She had finally agreed to go after Kavya had reassured her that she’d be fine, and that she’d call in case of an emergency.

Kavya walked onto the cold tile of the bathroom and started to prepare for bed. It would do her no good to scare herself by having these thoughts. She brushed her teeth, and headed for bed. Tomorrow would be another long day.

As she crawled under the covers, she firmly told herself that the feeling of someone watching her was just her own paranoia from watching too many horror movies. Facing the shadowy room before her, she took a deep breath to calm herself down. The chill of the wall inches from her back provided little comfort as she slowly let exhaustion take over.

She dropped off to sleep, dismissing the light hand slithering over to rest on her hips as her imagination.

[gravitren]

We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives. Raise. Awareness.

[pokemonprofessor]

For the uninformed, vaginismus is when the vagina painfully tightens and spasms when faced with pressure, usually from anything trying to insert into the vagina. It’s the reason I can’t wear tampons, and why many people can’t have vaginal sex without severe pain.

There’s not a lot of treatments, and there isn’t a single one that is for vaginismus exclusively - they’re all medications or treatments to treat symptoms, but not the causes. In fact, for a long time doctors waved off vaginismus as a purely psychological disorder in cis women.

Seriously, this is so unaddressed and uncared for in medical circles. Please spread awareness, even if all it’s for is to let those who have it but don’t have a name for it finally be able to understand what’s happening to their bodies.

[frustratedwaffle]

I’ve never even heard of this??

[shadowkat678]

Me neither. :(

[backpackfullofplums]

Thank you for sharing bc I think I might actually have this but I thought it was just me. I can barely handle so much as a tampon. Will have to bring this up at my next doctor’s appointment.

[saathiray]

So, there is a website dedicated to vaginismus which I suffered from for years and had no idea how to talk about it. I found this website ten or twelve years ago and bought some of their products which helped immensely. I know nothing about the medications, but the dilator set is probably the best you can do because it is a way to help widen the vagina on your own terms. I still have mine even though I haven’t needed it for years because it could come back later. 

One thing I appreciated about this website is that it emphasized that this is not your fault. Another thing I learned was that one cause could just be, you know, being part of a culture that gives women extreme anxiety about sex. This resource helped me when I was a lot younger and terrified that I was broken. 

Anyways, here’s the website. Please share it with everyone you know: x

[darkersolstice]

Brent Weeks included a character with vaginismus in his fantasy series, The Black Prism. It’s plot relevant (she needs to consummate a political marriage–to a husband she sincerely loves, no less), and she’s treated as a well-rounded character who it’s just one aspect of, and Weeks included an author’s note that was like “btw, this is a real thing. Here are resources on the topic. You’re not broken and you can get help.”

Which, like, from a male author? That’s pretty neat.

[jenniferrpovey]

Vaginismus is psychosomatic and often is caused by anxiety. It’s also very real and quite painful.

It can be caused by sexual assault, but it can also be caused by just plain lousy sex. In some cases there’s no apparent cause.

It can occur during sex and/or during pelvic exams. Some people (hi!) experience it only during pelvic exams or pap smears. (Mine was caused by an incompetent medical professional who didn’t pay attention and used a speculum that was too large). And, as mentioned, some sufferers can’t insert tampons. I’d imagine it’s not impossible for somebody to be fine with sex but have problems with tampon insertion. I’ve also heard of people being fine with a penis but not with toys and vice versa. (Lube, people. Lube).

Vaginismus is a major cause of dyspareunia (painful intercourse), but there are other causes, which can include:

* Not producing enough natural lubrication. This can be a result of insufficient/bad foreplay, but some people never produce enough and levels of lubrication can drop during and after menopause, after childbirth, and while nursing. It can also be a side effect of medication. Lube exists, and some people have to use it. Vagina owners should always use water-based lubes.

* Injury down there, often as a result of childbirth complications.

* Yeast or bacterial infection.

* Ezcema

* A deformed vagina (this is rare, but it does happen. It’s generally connected to a chromosomal abnormality or a condition such as AIS)

* Scarring from pelvic surgery.

* Stress.

* Ovarian cysts

* Pelvic inflammatory disease.

* Ectopic pregnancy

* Some STDs, such as genital warts

* Vulvodynia - pain in the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. This one’s even worse…we do NOT know what causes it.

* Latex allergy if using condoms. If using lube causes more pain, you may be allergic to the lube.

* Cystitis

* Uterine problems such as fibroids or endometriosis

* Cervicitis (inflammation of the cervix)

Many of these can be treated or worked around. Sex is not supposed to hurt. And if it does, you and your partner need to address why. Many doctors actually recommend sex therapy as a couple if you have vaginismus. If you have an infection down there, it can be treated. If your vagina is too dry, you can use supplemental lube. But you need to talk to your doctor if at all possible.

Again.

It’s not supposed to hurt.

No, not even the first time.

[drst]

Always reblog.

[merchantfan]

Vaginismus isnt always psychosomatic it can also be caused by conditions such as vulvar vestibulitis from a hypertense pelvic floor- which is either caused by over active pain receptors or can cause them to become hyperactive. It certainly can also be caused by psychological trauma such as rape but just like erectile dysfunction it can also be biological in origin

[agirlandabeast-deactivated20220]

I had this, but didn’t know what caused it or what it was called…. but for me it turned out to be Depo Provera.  I’m glad it’s gone now, since being off that injection, but holy shit, I know of so many women who have experienced this and no doctor could explain it!

[imfemalewarrior]

This is something to be aware of! 

-FemaleWarrior, She/They 

[aeliad]

While we’re at it, folks with vaginas, your menstrual cycle may be worse than normal, too.

There is a Lot they never bother to teach us, and if sex or your menstrual cycle hurt a lot that is not normal and you should be working with a doctor to find out why. (And if your doctor doesn’t take your pain seriously you are allowed to fire them and find another because fuck that noise, our pain is real.)

[omletlove]

This article is a liiiiittle bit off-center for this topic, and it was published in 2018 in response to the backlash to the woman who wrote about her experience with Aziz Ansari, but it goes into a broader discussion of how pain and discomfort are appallingly common experiences women have during pain, and how we’ve been conditioned to ignore them, and then drops this bit of information, that’s haunted me since I first read it:

These days, a man can walk out of his doctor’s office with a prescription for Viagra based on little but a self-report, but it still takes a woman, on average, 9.28 years of suffering to be diagnosed with endometriosis, a condition caused by endometrial tissue growing outside the uterus. By that time, many find that not just sex but everyday existence has become a life-deforming challenge. That’s a blunt biological reality if ever there was one.

Or, since sex is the subject here, what about how our society’s scientific community has treated female dyspareunia — the severe physical pain some women experience during sex — vs. erectile dysfunction (which, while lamentable, is not painful)? PubMed has 393 clinical trials studying dyspareunia. Vaginismus? 10. Vulvodynia? 43.

Erectile dysfunction? 1,954.

That’s right: PubMed has almost five times as many clinical trials on male sexual pleasure as it has on female sexual pain. And why? Because we live in a culture that sees female pain as normal and male pleasure as a right.

from The female price of male pleasure, Lili Loufbourow

[bongdesigirl]

Happy Children’s Day!

On Children’s Day, apart from the yearly Bar-One chocolates from the school, our class looked forward to celebrating the day by hosting an award show “for the students, by the students”. It had categories like “Rising Star”, “Most Talkative Student”, “Quietest Student” and “Best Leadership Qualities”.

 The certificates were, of course, hand-made (or xerox of a hand-made one) and while the event was hosted by the students themselves, the class-teacher or the teacher present would hand them out to the awardee. This was, again, interspersed with short performances and musical breaks by the students themselves.

  It was our very own shindig!

[bongdesigirl]

In our childhood, everyone in our family was taught that when praying to any God or Goddess, we had to say, "Bidya dao, buddhi dao" [Give me knowledge, give me intelligence]. Dada's part of the prayer was edited to include "Shanto koro" [make me calmer].

[bongdesigirl]

The funny thing about those small Birthday candles is that you buy a whole pack when you need them, but only use one on the actual cake... And most of the time, end up reusing the same candle for the next person's birthday.

One such candle witnessed Maa, Baba, Jimma, Dada, Boudi and my individual birthday celebrations... twice!

[bongdesigirl]

Dada has a habit of constantly playing with things mindlessly and most of the time, he ends up breaking them… So, whenever Jethu noticed him mindlessly playing with something, he’d slyly move it out of reach without Dada noticing. Dada would stop, but after a while he’d start playing with something else and, eventually, Jethu would move it out of his reach again. It was a continuous process and funny to watch the back and forth between uncle and nephew.

[bongdesigirl]

The Nightmarish House Part II

Check out the first part of this story here

The hairs at the back of my neck stood at end as I silently observed the woman.

 Dark splotches covered her once white midi dress, pale hands caked with blood and grime. The knife she held in her trembling hands had scarlet drops trickling along the blade and escaping to the floor with silent splashes.

  A thump! drew my attention to the lump at her side and I realized with a start that it was a man, blood pooling from a wound at his shoulder and staining his collar in red. He was feebly trying to cover the wound with a hand and even though his mouth was moving, no voices seemed to come out of his throat.

 This seemed to anger the woman, as she lifted the knife, bringing it dangerously close to his neck.

 Seeing this, I must have made some kind of noise since the woman whipped her face towards me. Silky long strands of hair obscured part of her face, but there was no mistaking the anger on it.

 Terrified, I scrambled down the stairs, dropping my phone on the stairs in my haste to get away. The sounds of someone following behind had me trying to move faster and I burst into the front room, trying to get away.

 Nearly at the front entrance, however, my escape was cut short as I failed to notice a little jagged edge in time and went down with a crash. I looked up as my pursuer caught up with me and in slow motion, I could see the knife coming down.

 The sensation of getting stabbed in the chest was startling and I responded to it in the most logical way I could – I screamed.

 I screamed and screamed and screamed myself hoarse until I finally sat up on a couch, startled and disoriented, and promptly fell over. The brightness of the overhead tube-light pierced my eyes and I squinted against it to find myself on the floor of our living room.

 There was a prick of pain and I looked down to see that the pin of my school badge had come undone and was stabbing me in the chest.

[bongdesigirl]

Kids and small animals love Dada. I guess it's because he's soft and squishy because they usually like to climb up and jump on his stomach...

[bongdesigirl]

Boudi and I realized that the best person to go shopping with is each other... We can be assured that if the two of us go shopping together, we can pick out our clothes quickly and move on to more important things within the hour.

[bongdesigirl]

I am entirely sure that we live in a time vortex. Like, I'd sit down to watch a video or something and I'd look up to find that somehow, within the span of those 10 minutes, 4 hours have already passed...

[bongdesigirl]

The Nightmarish House

The house was derelict, the porch scattered with leaves and broken glass from the windows. Weeds and plants covered the walls of the house, naked bricks peeping from the parts where the plaster had peeled.

Bracketed on either side with houses decked in colourful lights in the spirit of the festivities, the dwelling seemed even more ominous and out-of-place. The last light of the day only seemed to give it a sinister effect, as if a pale apparition would pop up at any minute from the inky shadows of the abode.

 The neighbourhood is a good one, but the owners of the dwelling had moved long ago and, the dilapidated building appeared abandoned.

 Keyword being appeared, since, not half a minute ago came a piercing scream from its gloomy recesses.

 I shuffled on my feet, hitching my bag higher, as I hesitated at the entrance of the house. It was getting late, and I was already in a hurry to join the celebrations in the community park, which could be heard even from this distance. The inhabitants of the neighbouring houses has most likely already left for the local festival grounds and probably wouldn’t be returning any time soon.

 I sighed, and made up my mind to take a look inside to make sure nobody was in need of assistance. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any souls – living or otherwise – inside and I could get out of here soon and with my mind in one piece.

 Approaching, I climbed onto the porch to find myself facing a large room through a broken doorway. Stepping across the threshold, I used my phone as a torch to avoid tripping over anything as I made my way into the dark depths of the dwelling.

 The front room was empty, walls bare and wet patches in parts of the ceiling. There were two doors on either side, one opening into a hallway, the other leading into what could have been a kitchenette. Towards the back, I could see a flight of stairs through an open doorway.

 Most of the rooms on the ground floor were interconnected and, like the front, covered in dead leaves and dirt. The dust looked mostly undisturbed, as though the place had not seen any movement in forever.

 Finding no signs of life, I was turning around to make my way out when something at the bottom of the stairs caught my eye.

 Wet drops of crimson glistened in the dim light!

 I moved towards the stairs and the light from the phone caught dark lines on the stairs, similar to something heavy being dragged on the stairs.

 Gulping, I crept my way up the stairs silently. There was a muffled noise from above and I looked up. The sight that greeted me made my blood run cold.

 On the landing was a woman soaked in blood!

[bongdesigirl]

Chimpanzees, gorillas and koalas have human-like fingerprints. So, the next time you try to antagonize them at the zoo, remember that they can (and probably will given the chance) frame you for some kind of horrible crime...

[bongdesigirl]

I loathe shopping! I will actively try to fake sickness if someone tells me to go shopping with them. I once walked in a store, bought a pair of shoes and walked out, all under 5 minutes.

[bongdesigirl]

I choose toothpaste based on their flavours. I have a habit of eating paste from time to time, so I have a list of toothpastes that I like so I can have a variety.

Buying new toothpaste flavours is a must, so if I like it, I can add it to my list.

[bongdesigirl]

If you're one of those people who hates storms, be grateful that you live on Earth. There on Jupiter, the storm has been going on for at least 380 years. Be thankful about the little things in life!

[bongdesigirl]

I like swimming... By which I mean I like to float on my back. I could literally just fall asleep in the pool for hours on end. It's quite relaxing. Boudi likes to comment that there's a corpse floating in the pool whenever I do it though...