(4/7/16)
I wish I never spent that time with Nick this weekend.
Iām so sad and irritable and I feel like faking sick so that I can sleep until tomorrow morning. The sadness has persisted for 4 straight days and I donāt know how to stop it
āāāā And another thingā weāre not rich but Iāve never known a money issue in my life. But I psych myself out about being dirt poor and not being able to afford anything and it makes me feel like Iām drowning
My problem is that in my mind, no one will ever compare to Nick, because no one ever has. I compare every guy to him. I look for Nick in every guy. And then I get sad because Iām unrealistic.
When I describe my perfect man, itās literally a subconscious description of him. I canāt help it
I've always wanted to continue my life in NYC-- but I'm set dead on moving to Texas or Tennessee or something after graduation because 1. Hate the city after all 2. Closest chance of finding a Nick there













