Alannah♡

•BorderZine•BPD•Creative Writing•Poetry•

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Isolation Zine Making♡ DM if you’d like a copy☾ Poetry/Prose/Short Story/BPD #zine #zines #zinemaking #zinefest #zinester #borderzine #writersofinstagram #writer #writerscommunity #poetry #poetrylovers #poetrycommunity #poetryporn #creativewriting #crystals #crystalhealing #tarot #witch #witchcraft #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealthawareness #journal #scrapbooking #ink #animation #art #quotes #qotd #candle #mood (at Nottingham, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-QcerjpPYB/?igshid=1rgcv9w570flr

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Ｗｈｏ Ａｍ Ｉ ？ I am happy But as soon as anything is finalised A monsoon of dread corrupts my mind. The prospect of stillness haunts me Things need to be moving, happening. Maybe that’s why I struggle in the present And cast my thoughts to worrying about the future or dwelling on the past? A thrilling present to entice me in Surrounding myself in chaos to feel grounded. Creating a world, a whirlwind, delving deep into souls, craving a passion, craving an understanding. When really the only person I needed acceptance from was myself. The current is strong, it will pull you under, drag you to the bottom. Your truth floods your sanity and you will drown in you own catastrophe. I’m searching for myself in you Your pain, my pleasure Your suspicion, my taboo Your tears I treasure. I drip for your reaction You notice me In search of raw emotion Behind the scenes of wild and free. Who am I? Sabotage and atonement Believing my own lies I’d give anything for a moment. Ripples fade Dreams decay. What does it mean to be alive? Is life an individual experience for all? Searching for a secure place Walk through the world in hesitation You became my secret space You became my salvation. The world works in mysterious ways I’ve always found a way round things It may not be the appropriate way But I dedicate myself to everything. I won’t be dulled They lack the capacity to analyse They can judge and ridicule Their morality I’ll scandalise. Trapped and tormented A distraction from the beige Foundation set, roots cemented A golden cage is still a cage. • Artwork: @shaza.wajjokh #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #writer #poetry #poetryporn #whoami #quote #qotd #borderzine #zine #zinemaking #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #ink #journal #scrapbooking #creativewriting #mood #feels #witch #digitalart #illustration #grapicdesign #art #beautifulbizarre #cage https://www.instagram.com/p/B9xQ68QpnvY/?igshid=1168fn3esvhau

[borderzine9]

☾ #feels #mood #feeleverything #quote #qotd #writersofinstagram #poetryporn #borderzine #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #zine #ink #creativewriting #art #disturbed @borderzine9 https://www.instagram.com/p/B9w_PD4pfR-/?igshid=5sp0ikdghpu0

[borderzine9]

When I’m at war with myself I make zines♡ Just a little example zine featuring @lanadelrey #zines #zinemaking #borderzine #lanadelrey #ldr #ride #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #recovery #crafts #scrapbooking #writersofinstagram #poetry #quotes #creativejournaling #creativewriting #creativity #mindfulness #mind https://www.instagram.com/p/B9tlUnYJuA3/?igshid=1dkvy77oj17gk

[borderzine9]

🥀 •••••••••••••••• #writersofinstagram #writer #writingcommunity #writerslife #writersofig #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #micropoetry #quote #lovequotes #qotd #creativewriting #zine #zines #borderzine #journaling #scrapbooking #ink #peace #makelovenotwar #lyrics #nottingham #flowersofinstagram #ldr #feels #mood #obsession https://www.instagram.com/p/B9tbW6BpG0V/?igshid=xri8qepf9hlo

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𝓦𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓾𝓼𝓽 🤍 She lives in the walls Silent and still She feeds from your falls And is out for the kill. Notes your fear Analyses desire The truth laid bare Pour the wine, ceasefire. Her mystery waters the ordinary Her interest floods the senses An obsession dark and eerie Kiss me, discard defences. You’ve got that thing Turned on by reaction In a mediocre world One craves satisfaction. Seeking midnight depth Do you long to be touched? Never enough Always too much. Russian roulette Live wire sex drive Standing close to death Dancing with fire to feel alive. I know you’re tempted Invite me in We’re both a little tormented Let’s live in sin. Wanderlust consumes me Yes, this was written for you Maybe this is my apology P.S I want to fuck you too. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Artwork: @shaza.wajjokh #writersofinstagram #poetryporn #eroticpoetry #writer #creativewriting #zine #borderzine #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #journal #scrapbooking #mood #feels #quote #poem #poetrycommunity #ink #wanderlust #sorrynotsorry #animegirls #micropoetry #wordsofwisdom #lovequotes https://www.instagram.com/p/B9hkpJvJW6t/?igshid=173nv95s4vpre

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[borderzine9]

The Other Woman ♡

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I’m Alannah & I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I am Course Leader for L3 Creative Writing in Nottingham.
I love creative writing, poetry & short stories. The creative process is important to me, I express myself through different forms & this is a healthy coping mechanism.
My BPD affects my feelings, identity & relationships. I use writing as catharsis.
I go through stages of feeling absolutely everything to nothing at all. So many different intense emotions on a daily basis; high, low, numb, lonely, suffocated, enthusiastic, passionate, promiscuous, reckless, paranoid, hyper, exhausted - just to describe a few.
I’ve realised that I cling on to things in certain moods & push them away during others. I dissociate when I split & that’s why I have a chameleon soul. I don’t know who I am or what I want. I need things sometimes but at other times they frustrate me. I’m never going to be consistent & I’m accepting that.
For a while, I have been thinking about the feeling of content & what that means. I have narrowed it down to this; Caring about what other people think but not letting it influence you. You can recognise that it’s their judgment & not the truth. Psychopaths do not care about what people think at all. Happiness is an individual feeling & means different things to different people. It’s all about balance.
I aim to go on a analytical, yet spontaneous journey, exploring aspects of the BPD mind through creative forms. Welcome to my inside world, intrusive thoughts & interrupted amygdala.
Instagram: @alannahj9

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