They think the future's bright as halogen

We know it's pretty bleak | Em, 26.

[boredbyherownanemia]

Time to discover if counting calories makes me less fucking hungry all the time

It definitely didn't last time but you know it's a new day it's 2023 right

[boredbyherownanemia]

Experienced gratitude for recovery two times in the past month: being okay with eating potatoes at my work holiday potluck and then bring able to taste dough when making cookies for coworkers.

[boredbyherownanemia]

I've been like why am I so anxious, why do I have this constant feeling of dread, why am I exhausted and unable to move, why can I not stop bouncing my knees

Just today realized it's because I cancelled my relapse and am eating again and oh maybe you still have like some refeeding symptoms even if you don't lose weight huh

[boredbyherownanemia]

Why am I hungry but then can't breathe and want to sh when I do eat? Because I decided I was going to eat again to be an active participant in my life? Oh because even though I didn't take my relapse seriously, my brain did!!!!!!!!!

[boredbyherownanemia]

I've been like why am I so anxious, why do I have this constant feeling of dread, why am I exhausted and unable to move, why can I not stop bouncing my knees

Just today realized it's because I cancelled my relapse and am eating again and oh maybe you still have like some refeeding symptoms even if you don't lose weight huh

[boredbyherownanemia]

Restricting, not losing any weight, but now extra scared that if I stopped I would actually keep gaining to a new high weight 🤪🤪🤪 I dont want to *** it just feels intolerable to exist in this body

[boredbyherownanemia]

Am I weak and delusional or is there really a point where your body is like nope I'm not going to lose weight, it doesn't matter if you believe in set point because I believe in set point. Does that really happen and you've just yo-yoed too much and now it's not going to happen? :(

[fairycosmos]

literally every day i say to myself “wow i’m having a really bad one today” like girl i think this is just your life.

[boredbyherownanemia]

My scale must be having a crisis of identity, faith, or something because how am I weighing myself three times in a row and each time the weight goes up by 2 pounds no ma'am no ma'am no ma'am

[boredbyherownanemia]

Not to be eating disordered on main but I downloaded my old old calorie app and the peace I feel logging food in. Calm like no other.

[boredbyherownanemia]

I just want to lose some weight without the full ass eating disorder experience, like why can't I diet this is fucked up and rude can I please lose weight

[feministism]

[unbotheredmuse]

[boredbyherownanemia]

I have covid and it's a bad time

[boredbyherownanemia]

It is a sick fucking joke that I joined a weight loss program at work, only to discover that I have already been doing like 90% of the things they want you to do and to not lose a damn pound over two months.

My body really said fuck this weight manipulation shit, it's set point theory ONLY around here.

[boredbyherownanemia]

This body size and number is just so intolerable and I refuse to believe that I got to this number by being "healthy" and I think I refuse to believe that this size/number is "healthy" for me. Even when the evidence points to the opposite

So then it comes back to the thought: I have done recovery wrong, everyone else knows something I don't and did something differently and I did it wrong. And if people see me, they will not want to recover because they will look and feel like me

[boredbyherownanemia]

Still going to my alumni support group every week, but I'm too ashamed to process the details of how much I'm struggling, after months of being the ~most recovered~ one. I feel too much responsibility. And I think I don't want to recognize these behaviors as a real slip.

[boredbyherownanemia]

Like do the behaviors matter if I haven't lost any fucking weight

[boredbyherownanemia]

It is a sick fucking joke that I joined a weight loss program at work, only to discover that I have already been doing like 90% of the things they want you to do and to not lose a damn pound over two months.

My body really said fuck this weight manipulation shit, it's set point theory ONLY around here.

[boredbyherownanemia]

All my social media started has started showing weight loss ads