whatever

matt | 30 | he/him | hella gay | hey if you know me irl and somehow find this, do me a solid and leave thanks :^) | side blog 😈

[good-gamers]

[fuck-u-maga]

[fieldexplores]

Never Learned - Gator Days

[charl0ttan]

smoking my bong i equipped with an eject button and someone knocks at my front door only to hear the faint yet distinctive thud of a body hitting the ceiling

[thevulturesquadron]

text: [ “Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing an essay, writing a eulogy, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing for 5000 years.” ]

[junewild]

incredible innovations on the beverage front

[gordon-pint]

Found my new favorite poem (by Mary Oliver, from Devotions)

[segamascott]

my boyfriend was really athletic when we first got together & hes still muscular but has a belly now :/ idk how to tell him its a turn off w/o hurting him

i suppose if i were you i would start with "hey so you know how i'm kind of shallow and have horrible taste right"

[datasoong47]

[brightlotusmoon]

[dogpuppy]

[sobcat]

getting yourself to do things is so hard omg you fucking little idiot get up

[soupevil]

Video of me trying to write the number 3 in professor layton game for 1 minute

[psychuan]

this fucking video has two punchlines it's incredible

[waterandsilver]

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

[waterandsilver]

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

[delinquentbookworm]

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

[paparoach]

i will be your 30 year old mutual

[ironpour]

I hope everyone loses the world cup and then the universe explodes

[rtvsclipsilike]

HLVRAI LIVE IN PERSON! And its just a soldout theatre of people watching wayne in a VR headset talk to himself with no screen to show us what he’s seeing and no speakers so we dont know what he’s hearing.

[rtvsclipsilike]

I cant stop thinking of this visual