whatever

matt | 30 | he/him | hella gay | hey if you know me irl and somehow find this, do me a solid and leave thanks :^) | side blog 😈

[mmilhouse]

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[swadloom]

STOP saying the otherworldly powers are corrupting my mind godddddd. You literally wish you were us. I mean us. I mean me.

[bish0ps]

omg if i was an oracle i would be LYYYYYINGGGG

[fairyblue-alchemist]

one man's hyperfixation is another man's blocked tag

[dragonpyre]

[teradul]

Sometimes a beloved mutual transitions and starts frequenting places you wouldn't go yourself, yk?

[crowboy-bebop]

when your beloved mutual suddenly joins a fandom you have no interest in

[spaceytingz]

[despazito]

Another one for "objectively funny crimes should not be punished"

[lnfini-deactivated20230930]

[bleedthebeat]

[bleedthebeat]

[bleedthebeat]

don’t worry about it

[cali]

guy whos email is mario19 cuz he is 19 years old and when hes 20 he deletes the old mail and resigns up to every service with mario20 and when he gets to mario25 and its in use already he solidifies into a stone statue and stays in stasis for a year

[cali]

[charl0ttan]

protip if youre growing up with an authority figure who freaks out on you when you fuck up you can learn to get preemptively anxious and stressed and then just keep doing that your whole life 👍

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[milk5]

Spent the day with regirock. He's a fantastic guy. Great sense of humor and also 200 physical defense

[inviernodel95]

[wizardarchetypes]

[voice of a guy who's only been awake for 37 minutes] well that was a long day. a nap is well deserved

[despazito]

[mint-swirl]

i’m on that weird shit. i’m jacking odd. disturbating. creeping my meat

[mint-swirl]

*scared* what’s gonna happen on june tenth

[hollow-toy]

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter