This week a couple of fuck ups: ordering a guitar case from Germany and getting the wrong one, now trying to figure out how to send that back; accidentally writing the word testicles instead of tentacles in a work chat that HR can 100% see. Probably even more, going through a mildly rough time, probably like most people, resulting in scheduled watering sessions from my eyes to the keyboard. I suppose it needed the clean anyways? But hey, there is always a good side to things and that good side comes from finding your own happiness where you can, and also, others bringing happiness to you. Bringing on the cheese here, but while I have had a couple blows over this quarantine (what like there will be another? Lets not jinx this) I have had people around me (.. over the internet I guess) pick me up and keep me going: showing up to my house with cake and flowers when my grandmother died a few weeks back; asking me to go cycling; getting my lazy ass to leave the room and do some baking; suggesting tennis; going on social distance walks; bringing baked goods; enouraging career progression; inviting me to play games online; sharing aspirations and just asking the all important questions of “how are you” and saying “if there is anything I can do, let me know”. Just all this, combined, it is so easy to think no one cares or feel alone with my own negative thoughts when bad shit happens but so many little things like this add up from different people and ofcourse, I am incredibly lucky to have these people in my life. So, for a while I have been fairly down because the person I think or thought,should have been the main source of support and happiness, wasn’t that person. They did what they could but they didnt show love in the same way I would have liked. The feelings of not being fully satisfied in how they showed love lingered above all else, and I could only see the bad, which is terrible of me. I want to appreciate everyone for who and what they are but its also ok to understand, hey the way this person shows they care, maybe it just doesnt work for me in particular. Let’s move on from here, and appreciate instead the other people who show they care through their efforts. And in turn, pour the energy I was pouring into this particular person into those who are and have been investing their care and attention towards me. Again, maybe this person showed love in a different way, I don’t want to be horrible and say they were uncaring, but maybe just not caring enough I guess? Anyways, this photo was bait to read my rant. BUT look! THE HOLY GREGGS GRAIL! Twas a chill spring day when we happened upon this, and what a sight it was :3
