Boxing Ketchup

We be boxing ketchup for the ninth time me lads He/Him

[boxierketchup9]

I don’t much appreciate how ICE keeps murdering/executing my fellow Minnesotans

[boxierketchup9]

This is a weird question, but I don’t have any other social media to ask on.

I got a tracking number for the MinikoMew makeship plush on Nov 22nd, but it hasn’t arrived yet.

Is this a problem more people are having or do I need to call somebody?

[boxierketchup9]

Merry Crismis!

Happy Chrysler!

Merry Crisis!

Merry Crimis!

And to all a good night!

[boxierketchup9]

Star Trek Fleet Command is silly sometimes

[boxierketchup9]

Turns out, if you want social media validation. Just wait a month for the delayed gratification

Thanks to anyone who has liked my art and stupid posts (even though I don’t make very many) knowing that other people thought what I did was neat is cool :)

[boxierketchup9]

I recently discovered swarm members referring to drama between the turtle and certain other streamers. Upon further investigation, it would appear that all “drama” was handled privately and maturely, and that people are likely reading too far into it because internet “drama” is expected to look like reality television.

I made this post because it was surprisingly hard to find any substantial information to suggest that the situation(s) warranted any further thought past the sating of personal curiosity.

I don’t really know what’s happening or what I’m trying to say with this, but I felt like saying it because it seems a number of people have taken extreme positions on what seem to be maturely handled conflict in the private lives of people who are under no obligation to share information with us.

[boxierketchup9]

Developing self consciousness over how I dressed was a bad move on my part

[boxierketchup9]

It feels like the camera button on the new iPhone 17 is missing a lot off potential features, like controlling volume or brightness. Or maybe sliding it up could do the same thing as swiping up from the bottom when unlocking the phone, that sort of thing

[boxierketchup9]

Plushies 2 and 3 (Aquwa and axel) of 11 (as of this evening) have arrived :) my excitement is almost as immense as my plushie problem :)

[theonion]

This is not a paid advertisement. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com to receive the newspaper and see more print-exclusive content.

[gehenna-checklist]

Shit man, this Super Earth war is fucked. I just saw a helldiver toss a shiny ball and say "500kg eagle bomb" or some shit, and every squid in fifty meters got crushed, had their tentacles explode and then disappeared. The SES crew didn't even commend them, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is using EATs and throwing frag grenades. I think I just heard "380mm orbital barrage" two blocks over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[cilantrhoes]

[boxierketchup9]

I somehow only just realized that the simpler google Gemini adds are probably using AI voiceover, as if I didn’t already hate it >:(

[boxierketchup9]

He knows what he did

[digg]

[tenaflyviper]

If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.

[revdrfrog]

It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblog…

[dreaming-jaybird]

the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck

[sidoniemoon]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are Weird: BS Maneuver

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Crewman: Sir! The enemy ship is closing fast!

Crewman 2: Weapon systems are down, shields at 30%, engineering reports multiple propulsion failures in engine one through three.

Human Captain: Can we make a jump with the remaining engines?

Crewman 2: I asked that; engineering said if we did we’d explode and then unloaded a long veritable amount of swear words to dissuade me from attempting.

HC: It must be serious then.

Alien ambassador: How long to repair the damage?

C2: They didn’t give an answer, just swore some more then hung up.

HC: *Turns HC: Right, options?

Human Second in command: With engines and weapons out of the mix we can’t put up a fight.

HSC: Shields will give us minimal protection but under a continued bombardment they’ll crack, leaving us exposed to boarding action or destruction.

HC: They want the ambassador here so I doubt they’ll destroy us, so that leaves them boarding us.

HSC: I’m unsure if we can hold them off with the crew’s current condition.

HC: *Pauses in deep thought

HC: Looks like we’ll need to pull off a Bullshit Maneuver then.

Entire human crew: *Collective groan

Alien ambassador: Excuse me; but a what?

HC: A Bullshit Maneuver.

HSC: It’s a tactic we use when we are out of options and need find some way to survive.

Alien Ambassador: Why would you have a vulgar name for such a thing?

HC: Because most Bullshit Maneuver’s make absolutely no sense and by all logical reasoning should never work, yet somehow do.

HC: *Turns to crew

HC: I’m thinking we use the holographic projectors to make at least several dozen murder clowns roaming the halls.

HSC: Our projectors were damaged in the last salvo.

Crewman: We could put on makeup and pretend there is a zombie outbreak on the ship?

HC: I like it, but we don’t have enough time for Devin to work his magic.

Devin: *Off to the side of bridge sadly putting away makeup supplies

C2: We could detach one of the engines and use it as a mine.

Crew: *Collective ‘booing’ HSC: The damn things are welded to the ship; it’s not like we can just pop them off like a sneaker.

HC: It’s also become a bit of a cliché to be honest.

Alien Ambassador: Forgive me, but have you ever done any of these plans before?

HC: We did the clown one last Thursday when we got cornered by some Viri pirates. Crewman: You gave half us PTSD in the process.

C2: I still have a heart attack every time I hear a honk…….

HC: Well it’s not my fault the bastards shot the off button for the holograms by mistake as they fled the ship.

Crewman: We were adrift for three days with those projections before we got resuced.

C2: *Rocking back and forth mumbling “I don’t want a balloon animal, I don’t want a balloon animal, I don’t-“

HSC: *Moving on before mass PTSD triggers HSC: Perhaps if we flooded the decks with knockout gas as they board the ship?

HC: *Nods HC:  It could work; we’re still breathing so ventilation must still be operational.

Alien Ambassador: So let me get this straight…..

Alien Ambassador: You’re going to flood your own ship with a knockout gas as a means to save yourselves and this is the best plan you could come up with?

HC: We can always hand you over to them if the gas plan is not to your liking.

Alien Ambassador: …….

Alien Ambassador: I have reconsidered the gas plan and it is wonderful.

HSC: Pats Alien Ambassador on back as she walks by holding a large gas canister HSC: Thought you’d see it our way. ---------------------------- *3 Hours later

Alien Ambassador: Holy frumpets, I can’t believe that actually worked.

*Human crew slowly dragging away knocked out aliens from hallways, disarming them, then tossing them into the brig.

HC: Yet another victory for the Bullshit Maneuver.  

Alien Ambassador: And here we thought your kind were tactical thinkers of the tenth tier, when in reality you are just pulling things out of nothing and somehow it works out in the end.

HC: I’ll have you know our victory count is attributed to our on the spot thinking and cool composure under extremely trying circumstances.

HSC: *Over radio HSC:  Captain, the holographic projectors just came online and they’re playing the clown simulation again.

HC: That’s a simple fix, just hit the off button.

HSC: …….

HC: We never fixed the off button did we?

C2: *From down the hall C2: NOT AGAIN!!!!!

Clown: *Honks nose

[boxierketchup9]

My will is weak and my spending money is gone… worth it