[bpd-aj]

i think maybe a large part of my irrational jealousy stems from the fact that as my fp only their validation matters to me. only their attention carries such weight. so it doesnt make sense to me when they seek that from somewhere else. because they are everything for me so why am i not enough for them? but logically. i know its normal. i know it isnt right to have all of your mood and emotional validation and confidence come from one person. i know its wrong. i wish i could change it but thats how my brain works :(

i hope that in realizing this i can calm myself down a little better next time

[bpd-aj]

lonely so much my chest hurts

[bpd-aj]

this kid (me) in my head just keeps screaming alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone!!!!!!!!!!!!

[traumasurvivors]

Your trauma is valid even if your abuser was respected and adored.

[bpd-aj]

literally so tired of being crazy lmao like. exhausted

[bpd-aj]

oh i think i was crying for an hour straight and i still feel like i cant stop

[bpd-aj]

woke up feeling good for once and now this. i don’t remember the last time i cried this much

[nd-ramblings]

[bpd-aj]

im tired

[bpd-aj]

not feelin much lately. just lonely and full of dread.

[bpd-aj]

feel like im trying so hard to be normal and shit but its not working lol

[bpd-aj]

things are hard and im scared.

[bpd-aj]

was really trying to ignore my bad thoughts and get things done instead i fucked up

[bpd-aj]

was trying so hard to do well today

[anotherblogforborderlines]

I also want to hold my anger in a way that pushes me forward, not backwards. I know this anger will potentially stay with me my whole life. I would like to use it to benefit myself in spite of the ones who left this anger there.

[bpd-aj]

i literally hate myself 😌❤️

[bpd-aj]

have an unbearable feeling in my chest and stomach

i dont know its name

but it make me want to puke

and hide