Bears. Beats. BPD.

21. Chicago. Painter. *finger guns* pronouns: they/them

[bpddaddio]

Chase Darkness with Me

Check out this great listen on Audible.com. Have you ever wanted to solve a murder? Gather the clues the police overlooked. Put together the

I’m so excited about this book!

[lotterywinnersonacid-deactivate]

Today a student emailed over a draft of his essay on 1984 and had clearly used a thesaurus on every single word, and how I know this is because the the party slogan ‘Big Brother is watching you’ had become ‘Enormous Sibling is viewing you’ and I lauged so hard I cried

[mousegard]

you: big brother

me, an intellectual: enormous sibling

[oryoucouldstay]

#adorable

[disneyfilms]

[memesandlaughs]

[heartshapes]

it’s so funny when people have had their blogs for a while and never remade and some of their top tags are like…calum 5sos one shot…harry styles werewolf au….zayn malik sm*t…but when you click on them it says ‘no posts found’ AJSJSHSHSG the shame…the embarrassment…

[frodo-baggins]

not to go all cringe on main but fictional characters have genuinely helped me through some of the worst shit in my life n i’ll forever be grateful to fiction for giving me comfort when i’ve needed it most

[valiumvampire]

us borderlines don’t give ourselves enough credit for living despite our brains trying to kill us

[tchaikovskaya]

im extremely nosy but i dont have loose lips and thats the best combination tbh im not here to spread rumors or hurt anyone im only in it for the knowledge of everyone’s business i wont tell anybody but i NEED to possess ALL of the secrets

[tchaikovskaya]

me hearing all the different sides of the story because everyone involved has told me directly what their take on the situation is but not saying anything and just watching it unfold like a intensely dramatically ironic shakespearean play with an audience of one (1) which is ME 

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

“In 1984, when Ruth Coker Burks was 25 and a young mother living in Arkansas, she would often visit a hospital to care for a friend with cancer.

During one visit, Ruth noticed the nurses would draw straws, afraid to go into one room, its door sealed by a big red bag. She asked why and the nurses told her the patient had AIDS.

On a repeat visit, and seeing the big red bag on the door, Ruth decided to disregard the warnings and sneaked into the room.

In the bed was a skeletal young man, who told Ruth he wanted to see his mother before he died. She left the room and told the nurses, who said, "Honey, his mother’s not coming. He’s been here six weeks. Nobody’s coming!”

Ruth called his mother anyway, who refused to come visit her son, who she described as a "sinner" and already dead to her, and that she wouldn't even claim his body when he died.

“I went back in his room and when I walked in, he said, "Oh, momma. I knew you’d come", and then he lifted his hand. And what was I going to do? So I took his hand. I said, "I’m here, honey. I’m here”, Ruth later recounted.

Ruth pulled a chair to his bedside, talked to him

and held his hand until he died 13 hours later.

After finally finding a funeral home that would his body, and paying for the cremation out of her own savings, Ruth buried his ashes on her family's large plot.

After this first encounter, Ruth cared for other patients. She would take them to appointments, obtain medications, apply for assistance, and even kept supplies of AIDS medications on hand, as some pharmacies would not carry them.

Ruth’s work soon became well known in the city and she received financial assistance from gay bars, "They would twirl up a drag show on Saturday night and here'd come the money. That's how we'd buy medicine, that's how we'd pay rent. If it hadn't been for the drag queens, I don't know what we would have done", Ruth said.

Over the next 30 years, Ruth cared for over 1,000 people and buried more than 40 on her family's plot most of whom were gay men whose families would not claim their ashes.

For this, Ruth has been nicknamed the 'Cemetery Angel'.”— by Ra-Ey Saley

[snaacks-deactivated20200913]

[emigration]

why do white people breathe so hard like haven’t you stolen enough

[cutiepiesub]

It amazes me how I can go from wanting to be bent over, grabbed, teased and marked to just be babied, cuddled and rest on someone’s lap

[tequilamockingbird2015]

How to Help a Friend with BPD

1. If we ask you if you’re mad at us, or if you’re still friends with us, please realize that it is NOT a reflection of you. You didn’t do anything wrong. Our illness is constantly telling us you’ll leave us, or that you see us as burdens. Sometimes we need to hear confirmation from you to ease our anxiety. So please, please don’t be upset with us.

2. Recognize that it’s hard for us to maintain contact with others, even our best friends. Again, our illnesses tell us that if you really want to spend time with us, you’ll ask us. We’re terrified that you just hang out with us out of pity. So when you text us first or ask us to hang out first, that’s proof to us that you actually want to see us.

3. Text us every once in a while. Little gestures like that remind us that you still consider us your friends. And receiving a message like that, even if it’s something simple like a silly anecdote, really makes our day.

4. Understand that our mood swings are very difficult to manage. Even when we know it doesn’t logically make sense for us to be depressed/anxious/angry/etc about something, we can’t control our emotions, no matter how hard we try. Trying to use logic to show that our emotions are irrational doesn’t help. So be patient with us, while recognizing that you aren’t responsible for managing our emotions.

5. Sometimes we decide to take breaks from drinking, so please keep that in mind before asking us to drink. Alcohol can worsen our symptoms if we drink too much, especially when we relapse. I only drink if I feel it’s safe for me to do so. But sometimes I won’t drink for months because I’m not doing well and I know alcohol will only make it worse. If I tell you I’m not drinking for personal reasons because I’m struggling with my illness, please don’t forget that and definitely don’t pressure me.

6. Help us set boundaries with you. Sometimes I’ll be clingy and want your attention all the time. Other times I’ll be distant and need space from everyone. These changes might be confusing for you because they happen without reason. Be honest with us and let us know if we’re too far on either extreme.

7. For reasons I don’t completely understand, a lot of us with BPD hate being touched.  This is also true for some survivors of sexual assault or abuse, and a lot of people with BPD have been sexually assaulted or abused before. Ask us if it’s okay for you to put your arm around us or hug us, especially when we’re in distress.

8. If you’re making plans with mutual friends of ours but aren’t inviting us, please don’t talk about these plans in front of us. It may well be that you aren’t inviting us because we’re busy and can’t make it anyway, or you know we won’t enjoy the outing (for example, if you’re going to hike and we hate exercise of any kind). However, if you’re getting a group together of people we know and could hang out with, we’ll feel especially isolated when we aren’t invited. We’re constantly looking for signs that our friends will abandon us, or don’t want us around, or secretly hate us. We’ll wonder why we weren’t invited, and this is especially triggering for us.

9. If we text you something that warrants a response (like a question or a personal issue), please do your best to text us back as soon as you can. When a friend doesn’t reply, especially a friend who frequently checks their phone, I interpret this as evidence that I’m worthless to them. It may well be that they’re busy, or that they didn’t receive the message, or that they just forgot to respond. Again, though I recognize that these are the most likely scenarios, I can’t stop myself from feeling this is a sign that she’s going to abandon me. 

10. Not everyone with BPD will act out (like accusing you of abandoning us or starting an argument) or use manipulating behaviors, but some of us do. And we feel extremely bad about this. Right after we start an argument, we spiral into self-loathing about it. We know that acting out is bad. We don’t actually want to hurt or manipulate you. We struggle with our overwhelming emotions and while we can’t suppress these emotions, with help we CAN learn to express and manage them in healthy ways. And again, not everyone with BPD will act out. There are mentally healthy people who manipulate others and feel perfectly fine in doing so, and there are mentally ill people who act out under extreme distress, feel immensely guilty about it, and do what they can to stop these behaviors.

[yourmilkdoll]

you have no idea how lucky you are if you have a genuine support system of people who love you

[traumauserboxes]

This user experiences extreme paranoia due to their trauma.

[andreauxminyard]

looking for a group of 5 to 7 women who will sit on the floor and wail with me in grief