terrible vent art shit brain

if you kill yourself you’ll feel better

[brainflys]

i hate myself and i want all of humanity to suffer for it. I want everyone dead. not only humanity though, every single living thing on earth deserves death

[brainflys]

i can feel you watching me

[brainflys]

i feel so fucking lost and empty and evil and i feel like nobody will ever fucking understand not antis not proshippers not nobody im completely fucking alone and i want it to stop im actually evil for even posting this publicly even though nobody will fucking see it im altering the world just enough to cause significant harm to others

[brainflys]

im an evil sick anti inside i’ll always have an anti’s heart and maybe that’s a good thing because kink makes me sick and maybe it is a bad thing maybe im bad maybe im evil

Stop looking at me stop fucking looking at me i hate you I want you to die I want to kill you i want to kill myself

[brainflys]

i have intrusive thoughts about people getting off to my pain and suicide ideation. i can’t even feel safe when im hurting myself because i can feel a mental image of someone violating me while it happens. and i feel guilty about how sick it makes me because that means im a puritan

[brainflys]

it’s not fun i can’t fix everything with kink it doesn’t even make me happy i just feel sick and alone and like something’s wrong with me because i hate certain kinks im a puritan im a useful idiot im nothing

[brainflys]

nobody understands and I can’t talk about the sexual assault that happened when i was a little kid bc it makes people uncomfortable and it wasn’t even truly assault bc he was too young to understand what he was doing and they were too young to be doing the things they did and it wasn’t a big deal everyone does that stop whining

[brainflys]

i hate everyone i hate everyone i hate everyone why does it hurt why is the world not meant for me to live in it. why am i broken and why am i different. why do i need things i’ll never be able to have in order to function. why do i try. why does it hurt

[brainflys]

i don’t want to have to fit a role during sex because of what my body looks like i just want to feel free i want to be a kid again and forget what any of this means even though i was scared and didn’t understand what sex was at least i was too innocent for it to matter

[brainflys]

i hate kink i hate having sexual feelings i hate that im supposed to heal through making myself dysphoric in sex i hate that the only way out is to make myself into the very thing i despise it doesn’t get me off it just makes me sad and i feel so alone

[brainflys]

i don’t believe in porn desensitization im a good person im a moral person porn desensitization doesn’t exist and i have all of the right thoughts and everyone will love me and i’ll be happy forever

[brainflys]

I don’t want to cope with kink!! I want to feel terrified again!!! I want to feel angry!!! I want it to feel wrong again!!!! I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME

[brainflys]

starting a suicide cult isn’t enough i need complete planetary annihilation

[brainflys]

death is the one constant kindness. it’s beautiful, liberating. reassurance that we aren’t truly trapped here. eventually we’ll shed our skin to let it rot alone, where it belongs, without us.

[brainflys]

release yourself from the shackles of broken design. destroy your wretched sinful bodies and reap the reward of eternal nothingness and peace

[brainflys]

self harm is defiance and suicide is liberation

[brainflys]

everyone in the entire world commit ritualistic suicide together challenge