Identity Begone

Collector, Fallout, Art, etc. Icon by Yesjejunus

[brainsdivided]

About Me :)

I just realized I’ve never made an about me post! I’m definitely going to miss something, but I’ll update as I think of them. Whenever I get an ask and it covers something that is not covered here, I’ll definitely update the post. 

To start, as my URL states, I’m Brainsdivided. My name is pretty uncommon and I may get picked out IRL with my interests that coincide with my name, so I’ll leave it at that.

I’m a 20 year old female by birth with a very complicated relationship with gender identity and my future. I try not to think about it, but lemme tell you its been something FIERCE this year. I came out as trans and was actively portraying the man I felt I was meant to be for about 3 years when I suddenly felt scared about my future as one. I quit and repressed it, and now it seems to be biting back at me. I suppose I’m in denial, possibly trans, possibly genderfluid. After a lot of issues with a past relationship, I’ve come to terms that I am Asexual or at least Aromantic. It’s complicated and this post won’t expand on it. Now to not-pity/overthinking stuff!

I’ve been described as artistic, smart, eclectic, and having a reactive personality. I am high energy almost all the time and very independent. I am also highly adaptive! In nearly any situation and around any sort of people, I will change how I present myself in thought and physically so that I may benefit more from a group. I’m outgoing and get bored easily. I don’t have any triggers other than the month of June or better known as pride month. All it does is flare up the ‘trans’ feel. No need to tag that as a TW, I can avoid it if I really want to. I’ve been a people pleaser growing up, but at this point I no longer care. Sometimes I do, but I think it’s part of ‘faking it’ for a group. I’m a mystery bucket! I try to maintain being nice so that my anger is rare and considered a big deal for me. 

I went to a trade highschool for Biomanufacturing Technology and earned my certifications from NOCTI tests and Precision tests. I’m currently at community college for Emergency Management and Homeland Security and will likely move into Environmental Policing/Law, Wildlife and Forestry Conservation, or Natural Resources Management. The only certification i can remember right off the top of my head from college is my Security in the Workplace certification. I’d like to be a Game Warden, Anti-Poaching Ranger, or a National Parks Law Enforcement Ranger.

I collect many things... my family calls me the local junk collector! I visit Army/Navy surplus stores and thrift stores to find some neat goods! Although, my ‘neat’ finds typically end up being a mail carrying bag, a feather, and maybe an old penny... You wanna see junk, I got junk! But it’s mine! Seriously though, I archive ‘lost finds’. My great grandma gave me her old jewelry and pictures, I have black and white photos of strangers taken long ago, animal furs and bones, an ostrich and finch egg, and old medical textbooks. Also scored a beautiful 1940s pink and orange ombre dress! I’ve also got a rock and mineral collection.

I’m a historical reenactor for a local mansion, a bird enthusiast, gamer, artist, craftsmen/tradesmen (whatever). I am also a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-day Saints. I use a loom to knit, and while I am never consistent in anything I do, I also paint and draw. Mostly sketching is my go-to. I play Fallout New Vegas, 4, and 76. In New Vegas my character is either myself or Ezekiel (Profile pic) and I sided Legion with my Me character since I knew I wouldn’t have a character that would go that way. In 4, it was supposed to be an old character named Delilah Moore, but her decisions ended up being mine. Nevertheless, I tried to side with all factions in the game and DLCs, but I stuck with the Minutemen, Institute, Far harbor, Children of Atom, Acadia, the Disciples, and the Pack. In 76, the default is me and I enjoy all the factions except the Free States. I also occasionally play Viva Pinata and Harvest Moon. I like to tailor my mens and boys clothes to fit me as I am an S or XS in women’s clothes. I have also begun teaching myself taxidermy. For a long time I’ve taught myself about herbal plants, and while I know that does not qualify me to be a doctor or anything, I find it fascinating on my own terms. Perhaps I’ll go to school for it just to get certified or have something to acknowledge it in a higher light.

I most certainly missed things, but those gaps will be filled eventually!

[teaboot]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[justlightmeonfire]

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

[teaboot]

Also the amulet

[brainsdivided]

Why is Prussia nendoroid $104 and Canada's ~$50. They're part of the same show and that seems to be the average everywhere even on the same sites ;-;

[disgustinggf]

[quantumlasange]

Today is the only day you can Reblog this

[jaxon-c6]

[kylejsugarman]

what super expensive indulgence would u get for urself if u suddenly came into a bunch of money?? assume all bills/mortgages paid, all friends helped: what treat are u buying just for u?? for me it would be a quilted lambskin chanel bag in iridescent pink

[brainsdivided]

I do not like this new layout for tumblr, is there a setting so I can go back to everything being on the right hand side pls

[guerrillatech]

[esoomris]

Wow.... so you’re telling me you took an action that resulted in the death of one person...... to save the lives of many people.... who would have died if you did nothing??? that sounds so familiar

[kedreeva]

[asteroidtroglodyte]

[lasvegasjackrabbits]

why cant the sole survivor be like "what the fuck" when preston pays them for helping fend off the raiders 😭😭😭 dude is like "oh my god thank you for helping us kill those people that were trying to murder us for our supplies!!!" and hands them a can full of bottle caps. they're still coping with the fact that they just woke up 200 years after being frozen and this man just handed them a bunch of rusty bottle caps after they killed some people and fought a dinosaur in the streets. like hello

[lasvegasjackrabbits]

sole survivor sniffling and crying and covered in blood and feeling like they're about to throw up in that power armor but some guy with a funny hat handing them a can full of bottle caps throws them off so hard they forget why they're upset for a few seconds

[vraska-theunseen]

DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER UOU WANT WHEN YOURW MAKING ART ISNT THAT WILD

[vraska-theunseen]

i have no defense against this. you've got me

[spockvarietyhour]

This is what setting up new camps in fallout 76 is like

[thatlittledandere]

Everyone should read their own fanfics recreationally tbh this shit fucking rules. It's like the author knows exactly what I like.

[brainsdivided]

If Wicca is by definition a modern neopagan religion, is there a name for a non neopagan one? Is it just called Traditional? I have lots of questions

[emphasisonthehomo]

Imho the idea of ‘cruelty free’ products or food shouldn’t mean that nothing died to create it, but rather that anything and anyone involved in the creation process hasn’t been exploited or harmed.

Leather is good actually. Veganism isn’t the end all be all to morality and consumption. The issue isn’t that a chicken died for those nuggets, but that while the chicken was alive, it’s life fucking sucked. Vegan chocolate means little if the cocoa that made it was gathered by child slave labor.

Factory farms, abuses of the people who pick the fruit and vegetables we eat, the focus profit and productivity over all else - that’s the fucking issue here. It’s capitalism folks.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[brainsdivided]

As I climb my way through my education, getting internships and making contacts as I go, the more I feel like this guy.

I currently work for my state’s department of environmental management, formerly in Forestry now in Agriculture, and my education is also heavily based in wildlife biology and conservation and emergency management/homeland security. 

Anyway, the more contacts I make and the more people I encounter, the more I go “What the fuck” every time someone spills some tea somewhere. There are activist groups I didn’t even know existed in my state. There are fights going on between agencies and groups I had no clue were happening. I don’t mean this as anything serious, I laugh mostly cause there’s nothing I can do about it but laugh.

The most common gossip being: The town of Cumberland vs a Save the Beavers organization - Beavers are creating dams as they do but they’re flooding peoples’ basements in suburban areas so they get relocated. I get it, because beavers are important to the ecosystem but they do cause damage and not everyone can afford to undo water damage. At least they’re not being killed in the process!

A woman vs the town of Cumberland (And several states) - Tried suing the town because the police dept has 0 handicap parking spaces. They do have 8 or so handicap parking spaces. She has also made similar claims in other states and has a youtube channel dedicated to it. I mean, go her for standing up for handicap folk but... idk. My stepmom is the paralegal and I can picture her looking like the image while on the phone with the lady for the 3rd time that week A self proclaimed old growth forest expert vs the RI Department of Environmental Management (Mostly w Forestry and Agriculture divisions) - A man with no formal education in forestry (He’s a college student in accounting) has been attempting to get a bill passed that prevents the Forestry division from maintaining our state’s forests unless it’s by his demands. Meaning: No removal of invasive plants, no controlled burns, no removal of decaying tree stands (fire prevention), no selling of land (DEM doesn’t totally control this, if the land has something that is incredibly important i.e wetlands, then they are able to terminate the sale), etc. He also believes that wildfires are 100% unnatural. they can be both natural causes or unnatural causes, but can burn out of control if there is poor forest management practices. In RI, there was a massive 700+ acre brushfire that was likely caused by an unattended campfire. Thankfully, the fire did not destroy any homes or businesses (it is sad we lost some forest, but in emergency management it’s people first). Now a month later, life is returning. Anyway, he wants to pass a bill that could have severe consequences. I doubt it will pass. The problem is he hardcore believes in his ‘knowledge’. Like... he knows everything but the things he knows is probably 95% incorrect. He claims a huge portion of the state is Old Growth Forest. Old Growth Forests are forests with trees over 120 yrs old. Rhode Island by the 1900s was mostly cut down to grasslands for farming. We have one old growth forest. It’s in Portsmouth. it’s a small tree stand mostly made up of beeches... which are dying anyway as a result of Beech Leaf Disease and there’s no definite cure. He also won’t listen to anyone with an opinion against his or whoever brings facts. He wrote a research paper about the old growth forests in RI and how he cored the trees to prove their ages. Except coring can cause significant damage to trees and apparently he has gotten the tools to do it actually stuck in trees. His research paper is also hilariously flawed. No citations and it’s all his own work which is funny because he’s likely causing more damage. The state considered his work so the DEM reviewed his work and he hates us because we’re opposing him. We actually ended up revising his papers and pointed out he used 0 citations. We suggested hiring him as an intern to show him the works and such or that he should swap his degree major for environmental sciences except he won’t. He hates anything that could oppose him. It’s hard because he 100% believes he is in the right and that whatever information he’s finding is right. 

**The irony is that I’m not citing my own work here because most of what I wrote comes from lectures or from word of mouth from my forestry supervisors or paperwork I don’t have access to as an intern. This is all paraphrased as well, and the information I’ve been told and learned from comes from my previous supervisors and professors as well as general learning on my own. I do my best to stay neutral in all matters so that I can properly understand all sides without bias. These topics are a little harder as this will become my area of expertise so the best I can do is make it sound funny. That way as well, should anyone become curious about the other side of an argument and genuinely want an explanation, I hope to hold the answers or suggestions without a screaming match. I am for civil conversations and I like to learn as I go. I’m open to new ideas or perspectives but sometimes, there’s some sussy things about people that can get picked up pretty quickly. Such as for the last bit of gossip since we seem to think there’s a deeper motive like something money-related or power-related. I try to see the logic in all things and be realistic while also entertaining all sides of an argument. I understand animal rights and I understand human rights. I understand beavers need a place to live and they were here before the colonists but when it’s in a suburban area and RI is covered in wetlands and forests, we can find a better spot for them to live that won’t impede on the beavers’ daily lives or our own.