[brainslostposts]

Made this so I can journal and vent in a place friends/mutuals won't see. This is a private space, you can interact if you like but don't expect answers

Things I may post about:

DiD/OSDD

PTSD

BP

Depression

Hypomania/Mania

Insomnia

LGBTQIA+

ADHD/Autism

Amnesia

Dreams/Nightmares

Addiction

I try to tw tag for my own use but it's not a perfect system.

This system is bodily an adult

🌊⚡☄🔥🌌✳💤🐾🖤🌙🌠❄🍥🍃🍂

[brainslostposts]

posted a picture while manic, 1 million help

[the-io-collective]

actually i thought about this. this isn't a callout, this is a call-in. white systems, i am literally begging you to hold each other accountable. stop making it safe for other white systems to engage in racist bullshit.

stop letting alters that don't belong to an ethnic group claim it.

stop letting fetishization of "exotic" culture slide.

stop letting people google names in other languages and not show those languages the respect they deserve. like ffs, at least learn how to pronounce what your part is calling themself. at least learn the context the word is used in.

stop being nonconfrontational about racism. yeah, you'll ruffle some feathers. maybe those feathers need to be ruffled.

stop. letting. this. shit. slide.

[danceundersparklinglights]

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

[thoughtkick]

“There’s a difference between loving the idea of someone and loving the person they really are.”

— Unknown

[fairycosmos]

ping ponging back and forth between seeing immense beauty everywhere and feeling deeply like i am in hell

[fairycosmos]

ping ponging back and forth between seeing immense beauty everywhere and feeling deeply like i am in hell

[astraldemise]

shout out to bitches that cant tell you shit about their special interest. the interest that has been with me for the majority of my life is squid and despite the numerous documentaries, articles and marine biology books ive read regarding them i honest to god couldnt tell you a thing about them besides "a squid is an animal that is so cutes"

[trexinacorset]

On this final day of my silly chronic pain post I will say this...

No matter their age, physical fitness, or perceived health... when someone says they are in pain it is not your right to dismiss or diminish their claims. Their body is their body and only they know their thresholds.

[fuckyeahdavidandyonatan]

Breaking the family curse (being the first to get a diagnosis)

[cripple-woe]

I made up a way to explain fatigue!

[mortimermcmirestinks]

hey OP this fuckin ROCKS

thank you for this!

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[teaboot]

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

Have you ever read an article about the study that found that teaching the parents to cope with autistic kids yields better results than other therapies? Because this is exactly what they were talking about.

[dizzeeflower]

ableism is being told "it's good to see you on your feet" by family members as you're forced to walk because your wheelchair didnt fit through the door

ableism is being scared about having a carer for the first time, but every internet search for what it's like are "what it's really like to be a carer" articles that paint disabled people as invalids without a say or entitled dickheads hurting nurses

ableism is being told "have you tried yoga?" "my friend said the alkaline diet cured her fibromyalgia" "of course you're in pain, you don't do any exercise"

ableism is that fucking marathon analogy. "if i want to run a marathon I have to train - at first one mile will hurt me, but eventually it'll be a breeze" grit your teeth through the pain, it'll get better.

what about when it hurts to type on your phonescreen? or it takes you 5 minutes to crawl to the bathroom? how long do I have to endure these things everyday before they get easy? it's been a year

ableism is telling your doctor over and over you can still move your legs, there is no nerve damage or loss of mobility, it just hurts so much you can't bear to move. and finding "possible nerve damage and loss of mobility" on every. single. file.

and this bullshit ignorance has come from not just family, but trained professionals - physiotherapists, occupational therapists, general practitioners, and neurologists

LISTEN TO ME, listen to us, please listen! stop talking, stop suggesting, just fucking listen

do this for your physically disabled friends because i promise you they aren't getting that from anyone else

as if the pain isn't exhausting enough, being constantly ignored, talked over, and misunderstood is torture

[brainslostposts]

[fairycosmos]

sudden urge to burst into tears. im not a toddler i just agree with their beliefs

[raevenlywrites]

World is hard, scary, confusing

Needs not being met

Little to no control over my environment

Overwhelmed and need some release

Desperately want a nap

Yeah, that checks out

[brainslostposts]

Sometimes all u are is a song still stuck in my head, for a while without realizing you put it there