On The Subject Of Subjects
I often get asked “How can I be a good subject?” and it is quite the topic. Very often with hypnosis we focus on the hypnotist. Because it is much easier to teach how to be a hypnotist in nice firm bullet points. So, for those curious about being a subject or wanting some tips, here is a quick guide from my experience.
Be Human- Honestly, I can’t stress this enough. Quite often people will ask “Can you trance me?” and nothing else and then get annoyed by the frequent rejections. Hypnosis is about rapport and connection, the more the hypnotist and subject understand each other, the better the experience they will both have. Everyone is human and has a whole universe of likes, dislikes and history within them. By acting like you would in other social situations you not only increase rapport, you find a hypnotist who wants to work with you because of you and your interests leading to better sessions.
Be Patient- Trance is great, but the internet being what it is, one persons free time is the others “Oh my god why am I not asleep right now?”. Very often the hypnotist you want might not have the energy to work with you. However, this time could be a wonderful time to get to know each other more.
Know What You Want- And this doesn’t have to be an in depth 5 year plan. But some ideas can work wonders and it can really help conversation flow. Knowing what you don’t want is also important. These firm guidelines allow everyone to work in a safe manner and let everyone go into the experience knowing what they are getting.
Be Safety Aware- While I would love to say everyone in the hypnosis community is a wonderful angel, we know that is untrue. Some people are just not safe. Be aware of what is happening and make sure things like safe words are discussed.
Give Feedback- Feedback is important. Just because you are submissive it doesn’t mean you can’t comment. Good feedback on what worked and what didn’t as well as what you enjoyed helps hypnotists learn and allows you to understand each other better for future interactions.
Social Grace- This might just be me. But accept different conversation situations. I get a lot of people calling me Miss first time they talk with me. And it bugs me. I don’t like titles at the best of the times. And least of all with someone I don’t actually know. Also when not doing scenes I am a normal person. So I find people saying “yes Miss” “No Miss” to general conversation very annoying. Because again, by taking on this image of the submissive as a doormat you are denying me the chance to get to know you more.
Stick to your guns- Being submissive does not mean you have to be walked all over. If something is not working or you are not enjoying something and nothing is changing after vocalizing that, then you are more than free to move on. If someone tries to push something onto you that you do not approve of, move on. You did not fail in anyway and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is lying.
While those tips are nowhere near exhaustive they cover what I find to be the most common pitfalls that new or unsure subjects tend to fall into.
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