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This is me trying to see, if stupid dumblr will allow me to post it anew (rewrote a few sentences to see if that helps).
A reply to a prompt I got from @thezombieprostitute 🩷
Jake + only one bed trope
warnings: Friends to lovers. One bed and secret pining. Resolved thanks to Jake's body functions, lol.
can't link you the masterlist for Jake stories, because stupid dumblr flagged and took it down too
You stretch and roll onto your other side, avoiding the morning sunlight shining right into your face. When you turn you find yourself looking right into Jake’s blue eyes. Pretty blue eyes that stare back at you for a second, before widening in panic a moment later.
“Shit! Shit! Sorry, sorry!” Jake starts babbling as he rolls away onto his back and scoots to the edge of the bed.
“Jake?” His unexpected outburst wakes you up fully. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” He blurts out too quickly.
If his behaviour didn’t alert you that something definitely was not right, the redness that spreads over Jake’s cheeks and ears would. He’s blushing so hard, you’re afraid he might start fevering.
“Jake,” you say his name softly, “just tell me what’s wrong.”
You sit up a little, to match Jake’s position as he sits so far on the edge of the bed that he risks falling off. He has his back pressed to the headboard and the covers pulled up to his chin. He’s definitely not cold, since it’s the middle of a heatwave summer, plus he generally runs hot.
“Nothing. It’s just- it’s just there’s only one bed.” He laments.
True, the one bed situation at the hotel surprised you a little. Your cousin, whose wedding you were attending, knew you’d be coming with your friend Jake. She knew that you were just friends. But apparently the hotel put all people attending the wedding with a plus one as a couple. Hence, one bed in your bedroom.
Which isn't really an issue. Or so you thought.
“What about the bed?” You patiently ask Jake.
He turns even redder. You hope he won’t have a stroke.
“You’re in it!” Jake blurts out.
After that, the words keep spilling.
“You were so close, and you’re so beautiful, and you’re warm, and you smell nice, and your ass was pressed into me, and I got hard, and now you’re looking all cute all mussed up and soft, and damnit I’m getting even fucking harder just looking at you, and we’re friends, and I’m sorry, and-”
“Jake!” You interrupt him before he suffocates from the lax of oxygen.
He stops, mouth open mid-sentence. He keeps looking at you, all embarrassed and eager, and mortified.
His confession doesn’t make you feel awkward. Quite the contrary, something light and warm blooms in your belly then spreads in fluttering waves through your chest. And down between your legs.
“Will you show me?” You ask, biting your lower lip.
“Will I-?” Jake stutters, pupils widening further. “You want me to- show you my-?”
“Your hard cock, yes.” You grin and giggle when he nearly chokes on air.
When he just stares at you, a little helpless and probably losing all blood from his brain, you sigh softly. Still smiling at him.
“Jake,” you scoot closer to him, but still leaving him space in case he doesn’t want that closeness. “I’ve been ogling your biceps and ass for the past half a year. Thinking about your cock did occasionally happen, too. So you getting hard from sharing a bed with me doesn’t exactly offend me in any way.”
“You’ve been checking me out?” Jake blinks a few times. “I’ve been checking you out the whole time! Shit! Sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. But why- why wouldn’t you say something?”
“Because, apparently, we’re both disasters?” You point between the two of you. “I thought you wouldn’t be into me and that it would ruin our friendship.”
“I thought you wouldn’t be into me.” Jake laughs awkwardly and drops the covers he’s been holding tightly under his chin.
The fabric pools around his waist, exposing his broad chest and the amazing biceps.
“See, we’re disasters.” You snort, then burst out laughing.
“Oh my god!” You wheeze. “I can’t believe your wood made us confess our feelings!”
Jake laughs at that, too, though his expression still holds a tint of shyness. It makes him even cuter. Makes your heart soften for him, as well. Jake may sometimes act a bold flirt, but he’s actually very genuine and respectful.
“Can I, uh, assume-” Jake clears his throat after your laughing fit ceases- “that we’re both interested in each other and want to be more than friends?”
You tilt your head to the side, purposely dragging your eyes down his torso and slowly back up to his face.
“Yes. I want to be more than friends, Jake.” You reply with a soft smile.
“Can I, in turn, assume-” your smile turns into a smirk- “that you’ll show me how hard you got for me?”
also i’ve been having sooooo many new safe!dad!steve ideas don’t even ask 🫣 as well as boyfriend!steve? steve everything actually, he’s everything to me
“So... We got the exploding diarrhea. Here's my advice for anyone who doesn't have it yet:
It's going to take a minute for the government to pin down where this is coming from, and then issue a recall, because the FDA has been gutted. But, I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt : this is coming from Taylor Farms produce, and you will see them recalled.
You'll want to avoid all Taylor Farms produce in the grocery store. They supply McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, about any fast food place you can think of.
Raspberries, watermelons, cilantro, and the veggies you're hearing about are not causing this many people to get sick. It's the shredded lettuce, specifically, that's the problem. But, you'll want to stay away from every type of produce this company puts out, because one strand of shredded lettuce is all it takes to contaminate bushels.
Taylor Farms is the source. Taco Bell proactively pulled their produce from their restaurants. You're going to see other fast food places doing this, and probably will see that before the government names a source. The FDA knows this, but they can't come out and tell us all until there's proof, which takes resources and research, which takes manpower, but the FDA has been cut by about 20-30%
During the Biden term, onions at McDonald's had ecoli. We knew this because DNA testing was done quickly and they were able to narrow it down to one place that caused the outbreak. And, it was traced back to Taylor Farms. This isn't going to be solved as quickly though.
When you get this, make a virtual appointment to your PCP - a "same day sick" appointment. Tell them someone in your family just tested for this and was positive and was prescribed Bactrim. If you go in person, they're probably going to make you poop in a cup and wait until results come back to prescribe.
You'll know when you get this. Trust me on all of this.
You'll want to stay hydrated because this parasite damages the lining of the small intestine. Your small intestine, in turn, secretes more water into the gut, and less nutrients and liquid are able to remain in the body. So no matter how much you shit, you're going to want to drink. A day of this leads to dehydration if you don't increase your fluid intake, and a few days will land you in the hospital.
If you have headaches, weakness, muscle cramps, dizziness, or an increase heart rate - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Go to the ER for fluids if you can't drink enough.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Brought to you by America's 250 birthday celebrations, workforce reduction in the FDA and CDC, and viewers like you.
Please feel free to share this.
And, MAGA - don't blow up the comment section. I argued with y'all on COVID bc I was afraid y'all would die, but I really don't care if you get explosive diarrhea.
Yesterday, someone on Reddit posted a video of a very strange raccoon - a fellow who seemed to have a condition that gave him a very short spine. This is the boi in question:
Now Seattle, Jimothy's territory, is being overrun by Jimothy fever with more spottings.
And just today, BABY PICTURES WERE UNCOVERED!
This is the most exciting thing in raccoon news since Conrad, the dead raccoon of Toronto.
ETA: Just checked. There's now a Jimothy subreddit with all the latest Jimothy news and fanart.
after much deliberation I have completed a simple task that took less than 10 minutes, and I'm happy to report that this time it only cost me about 3 days of dread
Since I seem to do better when I have a theme for my writing, what should next week's theme be?
Next Week's Theme:
Mafia
Magic
Royal
Ohter (please comment)
Voting ended onJul 17
Mafia: I need to start bringing the Garbage Men to a close. There's also a few dark mafia stories in the Yours series that could use some updates.
Magic: Pretty much just the Blue Roses AU, though the story I'm writing for Siri's birthday bash would also fit here.
Royal: Pretty much everyone in the Royal Vows AU needs an update, but especially Prince Ari so he can get home to help his little brother negotiate the marriage contract!
I gotta agree with you on the filters. I've got my air purifier sitting next to me at home and I'm still feeling a bit of it. They actually told people they could work from home today and tomorrow because the in-office air quality was so bad!
