So, here it goes! Before I get started, I want to make it clear that this is NOT about vaping (well, okay it kind of is), that's not my focus on this blog. I'm focusing on kicking a 19 year old habit. This is my journey to trying to get healthier.
See, the thing is just before high school I started something that would haunt me for many years to come. Like many young kids when I was in school I started smoking. I hid it from my parents, and I would even skip school to catch a quick smoke break. I was the kid outside the gas station begging passersby to buy me a pack of cigarettes because I was too young. Once I was 18 a 1 pack a week habit EXPLODED into a full pack each day. Mind you by the time I was 18 I had been smoking for 6 years. That became the norm until I was 22. At 22 I joined the U.S. Army. In a rush rush rush environment filled with so much organized chaos smoking had became my crutch to briefly relax.
Those 5 to 10 minutes of bliss became magical. for the next 4 years I had DOUBLED my pack-a-day addiction. 2 packs plus per day for 4 years took a toll on m body. When I left the Army in 2011 I slowed down a great bit, I was back to one pack a day. I was 26 when I dropped back to a single pack per day. During the next five years I would never kick the habit. I could never seem to drop the addiction.
This brings me to this year, 2016. My son had asked my wife and I to quit. We had talked about it a few times earlier in the year, but could never seem to do it. It was worse than I can even explain. At this point I had tried more than a dozen times to quit. Every time something stressed me out, or got me pissed, I was just right back at it. At this point I loathed myself for ever starting to smoke. It was beginning to hurt. I had to take a break going up stairs, and I would get out of walking as much as possibly regardless of distance because I didn't want to lose my breath. I was getting desperate.
Just a few months ago something shifted, a big change occurred and gave me my latest push to quit. My wife had decided she needed to quit smoking. We had agreed to quit together. This brought me to a new low in my time as a smoker. While m wife had quit cold turkey, I didn't. I began living a lie. I told her I had quit. I would sneak off using trips to the gas station, or any errand as a cover to sneak in a smoke. And when I couldn't I would just sneak outside and burn one down. I'm sure you can all see where this was going! Sure enough, I was busted in my lie.
See, not ONLY did I lie to my wife, my son, and my family, but my wife had also successfully quit, and now that the cat was out of the bag this was yet ANOTHER failed attempt to freeing myself of this burden. I had failed, I failed myself, my wife, and everyone else, and on top of it all I was back to a pack a day. Three months went by, my wife was still cigarette free, and I was really starting feel the effects of 19 years of smoking. From 1997 to 2016 this addiction had haunted me. It was becoming more important to quit.
There’s a vape shop next door to my work. I was out back chocking on a cigarette when the owner came out. We had a good long talk about smoking. I told him my story. I had tried vapes before, you know the old blu cigs. It never worked and didn’t help my cravings. He invited me over to his shop to talk. He told me all about HIS story. He had me try a few different rigs, juices, and whatnot. I sent a good hour talking to him about it.
During that hour I realized that the vape I had last tried actually felt like a good replacement. He refused to sell to me, wanted me to really think about. Over that week I decided to invest in one and hopefully quit. This whole tumblr is about my fight with this addiction. As of now I am 48 hours cigarette free, and this is my on going story!
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