I Tie Bread.

New to this whole officalverse thing, please be kind.

[holy-roman-empire-official]

Hey science side of tumblr?

What would happen if you were to carbonate someone's cerebrospinal fluid like soda then put it back in their noggin?

[breadtie-offical]

Brain make tv static noises and you feel the closest thing to primordial fear

[satan-offical]

*gripping toes in suspense* oh my golly goodness, people have periods *shakes with rage* NO! CALM DOWN, ALPHA WOLF SIDE! D-DONT COME OUT!! *my eyes turn red* NOOO!!

AWOOOOOO 🐺🐺🐺 I HATE PERIODS 🐺🐺🐺🐺 DESTROYA ALL PERIODS 🐺🐺🐺🐺 GRAFGRAFGRAF 🐺🐺🐺🐺

[breadtie-offical]

Only Satan would make a post like this and mean it 😔

[breadtie-offical]

I need to post more jiminy fucking Christ

[official-cisphobe]

here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

[the-m-is-for-minor]

Bulletin <3

[gimmick-thief]

pain

uh is that a good thing????

[musical-posts]

FUCK YEAH I GOT SPACE

[knightbell]

"elbow"

fucking

shiot

[brokenarcademachine]

i got child.

CHILD??

[breadtie-offical]

I got folklore I think I just won

[breadtie-offical]

I enjoy bread. This isn’t a bit I will just gently tear at white bread slices because they’re soft and fun to eat. With a little butter is tastier. Toast is for when I feel the need to crunch on human bones.

[crrocs]

What if everyone’s parents start getting tumblr like they did with Facebook

[rock10zxa]

[underworldfire]

I will reblog anytime I see this

[brokenarcademachine]

if my mom gets tumblr she’s gonna know what i am and i do not want that

[breadtie-offical]

Yea I think I would simply perish

[breadtie-offical]

I love glazed donuts.. glazed donut haters get disintegrated

[strawberry-offical]

"b-but zeal doesnt deserve the hate he's getting! he did something bad, but-"

Hey so you're talking about an abuser and rapist i think he absolutely deserves all the hate he gets

hot take but rapists DESERVE to never live down what theyve done

[breadtie-offical]

I second this. I have some very strong feelings about rapists that some people wouldn’t appreciate.

[gojosatoru-offical]

What I think will happen if I interact with anyone in the offical-verse because I don't know if they're scary or not

[breadtie-offical]

Unless I interact with you first!

[breadtie-offical]

Hmm perhaps I will drink some seasoning with a phd.. consume some choccy coins..

[breadtie-offical]

Mantis Shrimp is the best crustacean. Fight me. Or rather, fight HIM.

Source: Wikipedia

My son. My fucking boy. Get his ass.

[strawberry-offical]

I GOT A BETTER PORTABLE CHARGER WERE GOATED HOLY SHIT

[breadtie-offical]

I gotta get me one of those..

[breadtie-offical]

I’m so tired..

[breadtie-offical]

How do I tumblr. I’ve been here forever and I haven’t figured it out.

[breadtie-offical]

I have no bread to tie. All my bread was moldy :(

[breadtie-offical]

Hm. Did you know that the color of your bread tie tells you what day of the week your bread was baked! Bread tie facts! The arms of your god will not welcome you in death.