Breaking Ice

A collection of ice-breaking OKCupid messages from desperate strangers to a young, beautiful woman's profile. Little do they know, there is a man behind that pretty little face they're trying to fuck, and he is sharing their charm with the rest of the internet. Please note the time stamps and reflect on the insistent, aggressive, and almost always sexually-driven pursuant nature of males on the internet - when given the opportunity and platform to anonymously show their colors. Gender imbalance sux ;( Account disabled, RIP Marie. Profile content was as follows: 20 / F / Straight Los Angeles, California My self-summary: new to this whole online dating thing. we'll see how it goes ;) What I’m doing with my life: work. college. coffee. you know. The first things people usually notice about me: lips? hah Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food: perks of being a wallflower eternal sunshine 30 rock indie sesame chicken to be continued :P I’m looking for: Guys who like girls Ages 18-27 Near me For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex You should message me if: you feel inclined to. make it interesting :)

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What? I don't speak French.

hi ya! Im Alan from Ireland, just moved to LA (Santa Monica), et vous? :)

Message from Yelpy on Jun 12, 2011 – 4:26pm

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Is commentary even necessary anymore?

I did a search for the most fun person. You came up so obviously we're meant to be. So don't deny destiny. I'm kidding, don't freak out. Hope you're not being barraged with messages from creepy men. In all seriousness though... Most fun thing you did today? I just wanted to introduce myself too, I'm Yashar :)

Message from Daft-Drunk on Jun 12, 2011 – 2:17am

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I'm certain he's into the ones that go bump in the night.

Everybody enjoys a good movie and we all have our preferences about what we like to see at the theater. Some people may like a movie in which things go bump in the night or one with action filled explosions, while others don’t mind a passionate kiss or funny love story. I guess you can say everyone a critic hehe =P So how about your choice in movies...can you take a good scare or are you more into movies in which a hopeless romantic gets the girl that he has been dreaming about? What was it about 'Eternal Sunshine" that you love so much? Oh yeah, I'm Richard and it's nice to meet you =D

Message from RL3389 on Jun 11, 2011 – 8:04pm

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Finally someone who understands :')

I like what you are all about-- I really like that you enjoy life-- so what you up to this weekend...? matt

Message from mattaeo on Jun 11, 2011 – 6:53pm

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So long as I can drive there.

I would very much like to meet you. We should have dinner sometime.

Message from PublicParking on Jun 11, 2011 – 6:51pm

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Forgive me from sharing this with strangers, I couldn't resist

Forgive the intrusion from a stranger, but I couldn't resist. You seem great. You're funny, smart, and attractive. What's the catch? You seem comfortable in your own skin, and few things are as enticing as confidence. There's only so much one can learn about a person by reading their profile, so I'd like to get in touch with you to learn more about you. How's 2011 treating you so far? Can you believe we're already halfway through? As for me, I am an LA native, I live at the beach, and I run a small business. I love my life and my job. I adore my dogs Destro and Arrow. I like early classes at the gym, but my night owl tendencies conflict with my early bird alarm clock. I also love to travel and am a serious shutterbug - I've got tons of photos of my puppies, my travels, and my friends and family on my homepage if you're interested in seeing more. ( pics.rdamienclark.com ) Let me know what you think about getting in touch. You seem awesome and I'd love to meet you. Damien

Message from rdamienc on Jun 11, 2011 – 8:30am

Absolutely nothing on my profile can possibly lead to the "funny" or "smart" conclusion.

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I've know all I need to now.

You should get to know me kiddo

Message from xrnfnrx on Jun 10, 2011 – 4:44pm

xrnfnrx's self-summary:

Who am I?...I am Spiderman....wait that was a movie! Hola! Im Thomas and yes thats about the extent of my spanish! . I am a complete goofball and random. I like to have fun and am usually smiling. Rock and Roll is my life I have a bunch of tatts and peircings. Im a lead guitar player and lead singer of the band X-Time. I am quite sarcastic and feisty! So if you dont mind having some fun sarcasm, then im more than welcome to see how quick you are on your feet! If you read this far and want to talk, why not?!? I talk to random people all the time. There's nothing to it and its damn good fun usually!

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The ultimate dating formula.

I am totally inclined to message you, you speak spanish... I need to learn spanish for my job (dealing with parents) and you like coffee. This could be good.

Message from PosiCommiee on Jun 10, 2011 – 4:43pm

My profile says "Speaks: English (fluently), Spanish (poorly)"

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Have at it, ladies!

hey! I felt inclined. I don't have any photos on this thing.. I never use it.. I don't want to.. lol. I do want to get to know you though. Here's my email address: [email protected] email me! I'd love to hear from you

Message from tristanlokal on Jun 10, 2011 – 4:41pm

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Where to start?

Hey, I'm looking to meet someone new and thought that you would be a great match. I am open to the possibility of a relationship in the future, but if that doesn't work we can be friends or cuddle buddies :P I am very affectionate and make sure that whoever I am with is being treated right. Reply if interested :)

Message from infil3 on Jun 10, 2011 – 4:38pm

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Username nails it.

I read your profile and now im positive i know everything there is to know about you. Only thing left is to find out if you're into black guys.

Message from Tacit_Approval on Jun 10, 2011 – 9:11am

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The key to a man's heart.

Original post: http://breakingice.tumblr.com/post/6360310489/im-actually-going-to-respond-to-this-guy-for-him-to

Me: "full of intrigue." Hum. In its current state of non-completion, I truly find nothing incredibly interesting about my profile to incite such a statement - even with implied vagueness. Could you elaborate on the numerous qualities that engross you so?

Him: You had me at "sesame chicken".

Message from teaonsundays on Jun 9, 2011 – 11:51pm

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He said the magic words. FUCK ME!

coffee, lips, 30 rock date? :) i think we'd have fun together and get along, let's talk.

Message from wherenocarsgo on Jun 9, 2011 – 10:47pm

I think teasing with as little information as possible is working pretty nice.

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Enemies, you say? Here is my declaration of war.

Hello Mariey, this page says were are 96% enemy. I would like to get to know my Arch nemesis a bit more.. =P that is if you are interesting, ill tell you, it is good to know your enemy. So tell me, are you in school right now? I look forward hearing back, Frank

Message from FrankWBalzer on Jun 9, 2011 – 10:06pm

OKC calculates "Match," "Friend," and "Enemy" percentages based on questions you answer about morality, sex, lifestyle, etc.

I have answered like 7 at the time of this message.

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Too many of these, but this guy eases the mood.

I felt very inclined to message you, so I did. LOL

Message from greatguy_taco on Jun 9, 2011 – 8:03pm

32 year old father

Wants casual sex LOL

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This is where it ends.

Marie, I was inclined to message you. I'd love to talk to you and see where things go from there!

Message from RambleOnMojo on Jun 9, 2011 – 6:26pm

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I think the crystal you held while typing this was bad.

hello im travis saw your profile and you look like a very interesting and unique character; so i thought id message you. Heres a little about me i work full time im a video editor, photographer, and web editor. Im a bit of a odd ball but im very unique. I love the out doors im addicted to camping. I love just being able to be out side have a beer, my fire pit, and a grill cooking something tasty. Im also very spiritual i have a lot of crystals i use for healing and improving the energy in my life. Looking forward to learning more about you.

Message from D4nk_Crash on Jun 9, 2011 – 4:22pm

D4nk_Crash

I would think "odd ball" and "very unique" would mean the same thing.

D4nk_Crash