Q: I’ve been hanging out a lot with my best friend and her boyfriend. At first, he was just meh to me. But, since I’ve gotten to know him better I’ve realized we share the same sense of humour and we have soooo many things in common — plus he’s cute. And now, OF COURSE, I have a huge crush on him! This is obviously not a good situation for a number of reasons. I’d like to keep my friendship with my bestie, and I’d also like to still hang out with the both of them. Is this even possible now, or have I ruined everything?!
Being coupled up means tons of LOLs, hand holding, kisses, and good vibes. Although relationships do require some work, sometimes it’s hard to know the difference between a rough patch or when to call it quits.
If you’re feeling like it’s time to wave the white flag on your relationship but aren’t sure if it’s time to throw in the towel just yet, here are x red flags to watch out for. Because you should never EVER settle.
1. Kissing Bae Grosses You Out Now
It’s normal to be all lovey dovey at the beginning of your relationship and then kinda mellow out later on. But if the thought of kissing bae now repulses you and even the thought of him hugging you makes your skin crawl, then that’s a tell-tale sign you’ve already checked out.
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2. Bae is Always in a Bad Mood
Nobody’s perfect, meaning everyone has their ups and downs, and sometimes we need to weather the storm with our sweeties and be their support system when the going gets rough. Howeverrr, if bae drags you down more than lifts you up, makes you feel bad about yourself on the reg and generally drains your energy due to their toxicity, it’s time to head to splitsville. Being single is way better than THAT. (And, P.S., if they’re abusive — meaning they constantly degrade and disrespect you — then leave ASAP and seek support).
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3. Your Relationship’s Just Not Fun
Your relationship won’t always be filled with awesome date nights and exciting road trips, but it should be filled with LOLs, good vibes and a shared sense of joy — even if you’re just chilling on the couch. Spending time with bae should be stress-free and pleasurable. If you’re in a constant state of anxiety, dread the time you spend together and/or you fight constantly, then you should be flying solo.
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4. You’re Worried Bae Will Cheat (Or You Might!)
Feeling insecure about bae’s faithfulness — maybe they’ve cheated before or maybe you’ve heard some rumors about his infidelity — is no bueno. You shouldn’t have to worry if bae is where he says he is or wonder about the close friendship he’s recently struck up with his lab partner. A solid relationship is one in which you feel confident about your connection and is built on 100% trust. And if you’re the one with the wandering eye? Then maybe it’s time to pull the plug and play the field.
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5. You Don’t Spend A Lot of Time With Bae
It’s super healthy and normal to have some space and boundaries within your relationship. For example, you have your squad nights and he hangs with his bros after football practice. But if bae is constantly choosing to spend time with his friends/family or even doing his own thing rather than having a date night with you, that’s an issue. At the same time, if you’re finding yourself choosing your BFF over bae, then that’s a sign you might want your freedom.
Ugh. Divorce is never easy, but sometimes necessary. As someone who's witnessed unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships, I tried to give the best advice I could without having experienced it myself.
I have a new advice column for teens now! Here’s a situation that we can all relate to: what to do when you hate your bff’s boyfriend. UH OH. Click on the link for my suggestions!
LENT SEASON. I'm doing away with most of my social media for Lent. I might post on here from time to time but I'm off Facebook and Twitter 💯 and I'll dabble with Snap but I'm really trying to be totally free from it all and enjoy my digital detox. I found that I was being distracted by life rather than living my life so hopefully this will help! See you in 40 days!
Cleaning out your closet feels gooood — and sometimes is totally necessary — but there are times when you might be too quick to toss away an item, only to feel #InstantRegret later. Before you tackle any spring cleaning chores, take a look at our list of the eight pieces of clothing you need to protect with your LIFE (or at least refrain from throwing away). Because one day they will scream, “Vintage!” Trust us.
Yes, she's still in the running for Nick Viall's heart, but—spoiler alert!—Rachel Lindsay is also The Bachelorette's newest lead
I'm a bachelorette (and a dedicated fan to the trash-tastic Bachelor franchise) so it makes sense for me to write about the Newly-Minted #Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay for FLARE Magazine. I creeped her Insty so you don't have to! 🌹💘
For next year: What's better than Valentine's Day? Well, basically everything...but nothing's better than GALENTINE'S DAY! I came up with some ideas on how to celebrate the big day with your single lady friends. Chocolate, wine and movies are a MUST.
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