neopetting

val | 28 | she/her

[enki2]

[kontrapoetik]

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Very tenuous link to one of my favourite tweets

[segamascott]

[teaboot]

Imagine being named Bobby McDonald or some shit and then living so long that both “Bobby” and “McDonald” enter the public lexicon as naughty words until you are essentially named “Penis Homosexual” and kids are afraid to write it down

And it could happen to any of us next

[kosmogrl]

[lunarriviera]

[transfemmbeatrice]

thought of this immediately and was delighted to discover it’s the same op

[eggsplice]

codependency

[wreegis]

its more likely than you think!

[northirish]

Shipping update: Your parcel has been torn asunder by ravenous hogs

[reputayswift]

[cannibalchicken]

[memorycycle]

guy scanning my food: thatll be 300 dollars

the screen on the card swiper: would you like to donate 100% of the food you just bought to a little ant?

me: hm

[mousegirlheart]

What is the charge? Smeeking a flower? A succulent smeeking flower?

[skaldish]

I think about this a lot.

[computationalcalculator]

may I add also “butt dial” vs “booty call” vs “bottom text”

[clitorius-maximus]

Hand job vs manual labor

[ohgreatblackbunny]

Tags deserved to be seen

[fagstaynight]

(calling my boss at 7:00am) Hi i not come to work today or ever really i ganna play toys bye

[mortalityplays]

I love when paranormal investigators appeal to their long experience for credibility. I've been playing pretend for seventeen years, and let me tell you in that time I've imagined some shit you wouldn't believe.

[mortalityplays]

I went to ghost island and nobody knew you and they weren't there and it didn't exist

[vonkarmic]

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

[reputayswift]

In the 2000s you sat a kid in front of a Neopets pet page and they’d learn the fundamentals of html within the hour

[writing-prompt-s]

The defeated and bloodied king was chained to kneel in front of his enemy and he says weakly: "Is my wife still alive?" His enemy nodded. "You fools," he said smirking, and the king starts laughing as the sounds of explosions getting closer shake the room.

[emmikay]

HOLY SHIT