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Presentation Review

I love to talk, especially about a subject that I am passionate about. It just so happens that my topic, mainstream pornography, is a subject I can speak passionately about. My friends and I have a very open relationship and this is often something we discuss.

However, when I present, I find that I get very nervous. Even through I was proud of my presentation, I always feel like everyone is judging me when I am standing up presenting. Although I know that is absurd, most of the people in class I know and have other classes with. Also, the past 14 weeks have showed me everyone is so sweet and caring that it would be out of their character to judge or laugh at anyone.

I think that I speak very fast when presenting, maybe If I had note cards that would have helped me. I will keep that in mind for my next presentation.

When I was putting together my presentation, I enjoyed researching for it. I felt as thought I included categories, such as masturbation, that went very well with pornography. The videos I included were carefully selected after watching many YouTube interviews.

One thing I remembered after I finished presenting was that I forgot to talk about the Lacy Green’s Slut Shaming video. She made a great point that I wanted to bring up in my presentation. Green stated that instead of Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian having feuds they should come together because (aside from dating the same man) they have a lot in common. Both their careers were launched by their sex appeal. Kim Kardashian sky rocked to fame after her sex tape with then boyfriend Ray-J was released. Amber’s career was built on her body since she was a model. She even leaked her own nude pictures. Both of these women love and embrace their bodies. I realize that it would be difficult for them to be civil, because Kim married Amber’s ex boyfriend.

Speaking from a feminist perspective, one way of keeping women oppressed is by fighting over affection of men. I completely realize that this would be an awkward position if Kim and Amber were friends, but it is clean that the male in this case, Kanye West is holding the power. Also, being in the spotlight constantly does not help either. The media blows up situations like this and causes unnessicary drama.

I enjoyed doing the research and presenting to the class. I did not feel awkward talking about a controversial subject because it relates very closely to the nature of our class. It is much easier for me to present when I feel comfortable, and since it is a small class, I feel like everyone got to know each other well in the past 14 weeks.

Outside Event

Gender and Women’s Studies Program Freshman Open House 11.14.2015

For my outside class event, I ran the Gender and Women’s Studies Program Table at the Freshman Open House on November 14, 2014. This was not for any class or credits, Dr. Schuster sent out an email asking if anyone would be interested in running the table because she nor any professors or faculty were able to attend this. I gladly volunteered, with high hopes of peaking future student’s interests with Gender Studies.

When I started off at RIC, I had never heard of Gender and Women’s Studies. In fact, I was an Early Childhood Educator Major. Two years into the program I realized it was not for me. When I found the Gender and Women’s Studies Program (not to sound cliché) but I felt complete. Could I really make a major and future career out of my own beliefs? When I found out the answer was yes, I was ecstatic. So, when presented with this opportunity to reach out to future freshmen I knew I had to.

I met with Dr. Schuster she gave me everything I needed, such as pamphlets, course schedules and descriptions, and miscellaneous papers of information relating to ideas of feminism and our program. to set up the table at Open House.

The event went well. About a dozen or so incoming freshmen stopped by my table. Only a couple knew exactly what Gender and Women’s Studies were, a few had heard of it and wanted more information, and the rest had no idea but after I explained out program to them and they were interested. Not only did I view this as a way to help incoming freshmen decide on their majors, I also viewed it as a type of consciousness raising event within the feminist community.

I had a very in depth conversation with a woman who had a Bachelors Degree in Psychology and was coming to RIC to get a Masters Degree. She shared with me how much she loved taking Gender classes when she was in school getting her undergraduate degree at the University of Rhode Island. She was hoping to get a Master’s Degree in Social Work, but wanted to incorporate Gender classes into her program of study. We went on to talk about how not enough people know about this major or how they can transform it into a career.

I was truly impressed with her knowledge of feminism and topics within. We began to talk about Caitlyn Jenner and how society is baffled that her sexual orientation has not changed even though her gender has. We both knew that obviously gender, sexual orientation, and biological sex have absolutely nothing to do with each other. It was so refreshing to not have to explain this to someone and worry I would in some way offend them (even though their ignorance is more offensive, but I am not the confrontational type)

Candace West and Don H. Zimmerman do a great job at defining each of these categories, and more, in their article Doing Gender. “We contend that recognition of the analytical independence of sex, sex category, and gender is essential for understanding the relationships among these elements and the interactional work involved in “being” a gendered person in society.” (West, Zimmerman pg. 127)

According to this article, sex means “a determination made through the application of socially agreed upon biological criteria for classifying persons as females or males.” (West, Zimmerman pg. 127). By referring to something as socially agreed upon, to me, means that is the general heteronormative population’s definition. Through my classes, I have learned that yes most of society think this is true, however there are more genders than just female and male.

Sex category in this article is described as, “achieved through application of the sex criteria, but in everyday life, categorization is established and sustained by the socially required identificatory displays that proclaims one’s membership in one or the other sex.” (pg. 127) As we know, yes this is society’s beliefs, however there are an infinite number of genders therefore an infinite number of ways to display them in sex category. For example, if Caitlyn Jenner is wearing a dress – she identifies as a female and therefore is displaying appropriate characteristics of her female category. If Rob Kardashian, who identifies as a male, was wearing a dress then he would be doing something out of the norm of his sex category, but it is still acceptable because as we know there are more than two binary genders.

Gender is described as “the activity of managing situated conduct in light of normative conceptions of attitudes and activities appropriate for one’s sex category.” (pg. 127) Displaying gender depends on the person, that is why there is an infinite numbers of gender. Each person is allowed and encouraged to display their own gender as uniquely as they see fit.

I did enjoy having conversations with people who were interested in Gender Studies and Feminism. Since it is a passion of mine, I could not have been happier to have turned it into a program of study and hope to do the same for someone else.

helen-south

Like a Man

“Historically, no industrial society other than the United States has developed such a violent ‘boy culture’.” (Kimmel-Mahler 1450) Violence is clearly a very current issue and pattern we see in our American Society, whether it be adolescents in schools, within marriage, or even with sexual violent acts. In Michael Kimmel and Matthew Mahler’s article Adolescent Masculinity, Homophobia, and Violence, they seem to narrow down where this assertion through violence comes from… “masculinity is the single greatest risk factor in school violence.” (Kimmel-Mahler 1442) As we know, we live in a societies with extreme gender ideologies: men & masculinity; women & femininity. In our pop culture, Eminem is quoted “the lowest degrading thing that you can say to a man… is to call him a ‘faggot’ and try to take away his manhood.” (Kimmel-Mahler 1445) Men in our culture are often portrayed as strong, dominant, not emotional, and assertive. When this is questioned, males “in this culture, when someone questions your manhood, we do not just get mad, we get even.” (Kimmel-Mahler 1451)

With this being said, we can know take a look at just how the gender ideals within our culture can further influence our actions in everyday life beyond school violence. As we know, another current issue we are faced with today concern the rape culture. In David Lisak and Paul Miller’s article Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists, we are faced with many statistics concerning an overwhelming majority of undocumented rapists or even reported rapes. What really caught my attention was their sample of 1,882 men at a mid-sized commuter university with students that are both diverse in age and ethnicity, who after answering questions assessing rape, violence, and abuse (while being discreet), had come up with a majority of undetected rapists with many who were repeat offenders. “Almost two-third of them raped more than once, and a majority also committed other acts of interpersonal violence, such as battery, child physical abuse, and child sexual abuse.” (Lisak-Miller 80) They talk about how typically these instances involve victims within their social networks- “acquaintances” –where they have refrained from violence so that there were no physical injuries present. This made me think of the quote, “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” I think this really speaks to the holes within the criminal justice system where “prosecutors are less likely to prosecute” (Lisak-Miller 81) because of the lack of physical evidence and use of a weapon. Because of those two factors, we find ourselves with a case “difficult to prosecute” (Lisak-Miller 81) and turns into a case of ‘my word against yours.’

Another area within our culture where we are faced with violence is marriage. With previous articles, we can clearly see that women are often viewed as sexual property of men, especially with marriage. Margo Wilson and Martin Daly in Till Death Us Do Part speak about violence and homicide with men with their married partners especially when being faced with the possibility of adultery or abandonment. “Men…strive to control women” (Wilson-Daly 339) whether that be through coercion, intimidation, or even murder. They went through a series of cases and found that “at the core of nearly all the cases… the husband responded out of frustration at being unable to control his wife, often accusing her of being a whore or of having an affair.” (Wilson-Daly 340)

I think it is safe to say that we can see a pattern going on, the questioning of masculinity and the assertion of being considered a ‘real man’ socially through violence. It’s not a new concept of men being more physical when getting what they either feel they deserve or what they want; what men want they take. So with this ideology, when it comes down to asserting themselves within their environment and surviving, men are reacting the way that our society insists that they should react by. Our media culture often portrays heroes and manly men that are physically violent, using weapons, and using their environment to get what they want. With this being constantly reinstated, it becomes this ‘norm’ which can be then turned into the actions needed to be taken in order to gain their status in our society.

gend712

It is terrifying seeing how far some men and boys will go in order to keep their status of masculine. And, unfortunately, they see women as just as tools to prove how manly they are, so they find it acceptable to rape or even kill them whenever their manliness is undermined or questioned. It is horrible and makes me sick.

brookkeeposts-blog

For some reason men in our culture as terrified of showing their softer side. Calling a man a faggot or a pussy is one of the worst things you could insult him with. Pussy, being another word for vagina is basically calling a man a woman therefore disrespecting and oppressing women in the same insult.

dawnoftoday-blog

Till Death Us Do Part

Till Death us Do Part by Margo Wilson and Martin Daly, was so relevant for me that I need to vent. First I want to explain why this is relevant. For my Feminist Inquiry course I am instructed to hold my own activist event on any topic of my choosing. I choose to hold a demonstration to spread awareness for those who suffer from domestic violence. I chose this topic after completing 30 hour training for Day One (a local Rape/ Domestic Abuse crisis center) to be able to volunteer for their helpline. We were asked to each come up with a new reason why someone would stay in an abusive relationship. Because there was about 22 of us we didn’t think it was going to be possible but once you start thinking, the reasons are endless. This inspired me to come up with a demonstration where I will ask strangers to come up with a reason and place a large rock on the “victim” (a dummy) until the pile grows larger with all of the reason why this woman feels trapped. My hope is that the people who see my project never again say “Well she stayed so it can’t be that bad”. That being said reading this article that explores the reasons why men abuse or even kill their wives is beyond disturbing. “A small proportion of the men who kill their wives are found “unfit to stand trial: or “not guilty by reason of insanity”. This is being said because it was thought that a so called reasonable man could not commit murder based on emotions alone. They refer to those emotions as “morbid jealousy”. The problem with jealousy is that it stems from a feeling of possession. “Until 1974, it was the law in Texas that homicide is justified-not a criminal act, and therefore subject to no penalty whatever-“when committed by the husband upon the person of anyone taken in the act of adultery with the wife, provided the killing takes place before the parties to the act of adultery have separated"….so a man is allowed to walk in on his wife with another man and kill them both. I doubt such a law exists for the opposite situation. Until 1974, it was the law in Texas that homicide is justified-not a criminal act, and therefore subject to no penalty whatever-“when committed by the husband upon the person of anyone taken in the act of adultery with the wife, provided the killing takes place before the parties to the act of adultery have separated”. The sexual restriction men put on woman was seen in cultures that required bride-prices and forced their women to wear chastity belts. Proprietary control has been the main cause of jealous slayings. A friend of mine used to talk about her friends from Utah who were in an unhealthy relationship. One day the woman decided to leave and when she came to get her things her ex was there and shot her than himself. This murder suicide was the result of the “if I can’t have her no one else will” scenario. I can’t begin to understand that kind of mind set, the amount of rage and feelings of ownership that led to this outcome. Why do men feel that they have need to respond to a failed marriage in such a lethal way? It all stems from previous acceptance of ownership over anothers life. This is why boyfriends and girlfriends refer to each other’s body parts as their own, for no one else’s eyes or hands. Today this idea of having the only aces to anothers body is what you get anytime you enter into a relationship without ever having a conversation about what is acceptable behavior. I have had many conversations with my friends about why they aren’t ok with their girlfriends showing their nipples in public. One conversation went like this: “if my girl shows her tits to a guy he’s gonna hit on her and then im going to have to beat his ass”. So in response I pulled off my shirt and asked him if he felt like he was now obligated to hit on me and if I needed my boyfriend to come and beat him up. He got my point but his first thought was that men have irrational urges that can only lead to violence. This particular friend still struggles with a very jealous relationship that comes from both sides, it’s exhausting to witness. This is why in my relationship I refuse my partner to refer to my body as belonging to him. I make it clear that it is my body and I allow him access as long as it’s what I want. To me this is the best way to avoid arguments over what I do and what is “acceptable”.

Please feel free to attend my demonstration, it will be held in the “quad” (grassy area between the library and the café) November 30th around 12.

gend712

I found it astonishing that up until 1974, in Texas, jealousy was a justifiable excuse for a guy killing his spouse and the person they’re having an affair with. The fact that they can be that possessive of a woman and their sexuality is horrible. I really liked your story about the conversation between you and your friend.

brookkeeposts-blog

I have also learned so much about domestic violence during my internship as a court advocate for the Elizabeth Buffum Chace Center. It is absolutely horrifying to find out why women stay. I have had numerous clients in the office crying saying how they used to be a strong woman until he (their abuser) took their power away. It is so sad but so rewarding when you can finally help someone. I can’t wait to attend your presentation.

That law in Texas is unfortunately not surprising to me at all. Texas doesn’t value women and that can be proven in the way they handle their abortion laws. They constantly are shutting down abortion clinics and making it harder and harder for women to obtain this MEDICALLY LEGAL AND SAFE service

I couldn't figure how to add pictures to my blog post so here are two pictures that were under fire in the media depicting rape to sell products. The first was recently published by Bloomingdales and the second was a few yeas ago.

Repeat Rape & Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists

I chose to read the article Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists. I almost wish I didn’t. The statistics horrified my beyond belief and only further proved how prevalent rape culture is in our society. The article starts by telling readers that “It is estimated that between 64% and 96% of all rapes are never reported to criminal justice authorities.” (Lisak & Miller pg. 73). This basically is saying that there is no justice for victims because their abusers are rarely brought to justice. (This could also lead to victim blaming and a number of psychological damage left on the victim.) Also, rape is a hard crime to prosecute if there is no evidence. It also could turn into a he said she said type of case, which is not saying good things about our society.

The authors of this article wrote about studies conducted by several professionals (doctors, law enforcers, scientist etc) of men who were convicted of sexual assault crimes. One of the studies results were: those who commit these crimes are often repeat offenders, which is not hard to believe. “…126 identified rapists admitted to 907 paraphilic acts against 882 victims.” (pg. 74) This makes our world scary to live in. Is this why we tell women to walk with keys between their fingers or not to leave their drink unattended? Yes there are sick people in our world, but I would rather believe there is more good than bad. What I took from this particular study was that there was a lesser amount of men who rape. Although these men did rape they committed multiple offences instead of 907 men raping. It is a terrible crime and not even as a feminist – as a woman - I am appalled and disgusted.

The study goes on to differentiate assaults based on stranger and nonstragner rape. Nonstranger rapes are harder to convict because get this – they can claim miscommunication and misunderstand as a defense. On page 74, the authors write, “Consistent with the tendency to view nonstranger rapes as less serious than stranger rapes, it is not uncommon to find discussion of nonstranger rapes referring to “miscommunication” and “misunderstanding” between offender and victim.” I actually highlighted this and wrote “omg sick bastards” next to this. There is no question in my mind that society often excuses these acts. We teach women to cover up and be conservative rather than teach men not to rape. Our society puts men on a pedestal based on their number of sexual partners. The more women a man sleeps with often equates to his masculinity.

As a woman, I do not want to be fearful of men. I don’t want to think my brother is capable of this act. I do not think all men are like this. Not only does it make women fearful of situations, it also makes men look bad. Not all of them are bad but we are taught to use caution when being in situation with an unfamiliar male, weather it be on a date or at a bar, etc.

Also, speaking of society here are a few wonderful ads depicting rape in our media….

Please tell comment below with your opinions!

gend712

“Backlash and Continuity” and Obvious Child

Reading “Backlash and Continuity: The Political Trajectory of Fetal Rights” by Rachel Roth was pretty frustrating to say the least. The whole article shows just how little pregnant women mean to the pro-life activists compared to the fetuses growing inside them. Roth tells us how the activists refer to the women a “maternal hosts” and “the fetal environment” just to dehumanize the women and make them seem heartless if they were to go for an abortion.

Roth also talks about the legal scholar, John Robertson, and how he believes that “women have both legal and moral duties to protect the fetus”. He uses this to basically try to control what women do in order to do what is “best for the fetus”, whether it is what’s best for the woman or not. Robertson even says, “Although she is under no obligation to invite the fetus in or to allow it to remain, once she has done these things she assumes obligations to the fetus that limit her freedom over her body.” He talks as if all women who do not have an abortion, choose for themselves not to have it. But sometimes this is not the case because not only have some states made it more difficult, with laws, to get an abortion but sometimes the women just can’t have one, whether it be for financial reasons, lack of access, etc.

This was somewhat shown in Obvious Child when Donna decided that she wanted to get the abortion. She had little money to actually pay for it since she lost her job, she couldn’t afford health insurance, and she didn’t really have anyone to help her. Unfortunately that is where the realism seems to stop because even though she said she couldn’t afford it she still was able to get the abortion, and they never really went into how she could afforded it.

It was also nice that after Donna told people she got a lot of support, especially from her mom, her friend Nellie, and her potential boyfriend Max. Unfortunately, though, not everyone gets that support and sometimes people even get harassed for it, but the movie didn’t show anything like that.

brookkeeposts-blog

Backlash and the Continuity was an awesome article to read. It is so sad that pro life activists care more about the pieces of tissue that is a fetus more about caring about the woman. That fact makes me sick to be living in this society. Yes, It is extremely dehumanizing to women making them feel like society cares more about a few cells inside them than their actual life. Having an child is a huge responsibility and for a woman to decide she is not ready is more brave and responsible than raising a child she did not want in the first place. I am not saying abortion can be used as a method of birth control, but if a woman gets pregnant on accident and takes responsibility we should support her for taking those steps not demeaning her!

gend712

Partners as Parents

Even in today’s society where same sex marriage is finally legal, some things are still no easier for those couples or for gay and lesbian individuals. One of the things that is still problematic is the birthing or adoption of children. Charlene Gomes writes about this issue in her piece “Partners as Parents: Challenges Faced by Gays Denied Marriage”. She talks about the issues in the different ways gay or lesbian couples/individuals can “have” children and the issues with even keeping them.

Gomes says that for a lesbian to have a child they can have a sperm donor, where when a gay man wants a child he can look for a surrogate. In both situations, if the person is in a same sex relationship, one of them would not be considered the parent legally because the surrogate/sperm donor would be a biological parent along with the person that made the baby with them. Plus, insemination can be extremely expensive and it is not covered by health insurance, so it makes it unfeasible for many people and surrogacy is frowned upon in many states.

The couple could also looking into adopting a child but this too is very difficult for a lot of openly gay people, let alone same sex couples. In a few states, Gomes says, they have laws that keep gays and lesbians from adopting children such as Florida, Mississippi, and Utah. The thing that I found most interesting though was that “gays are more readily allowed to adopt special-needs children…” and Gomes follows that with “why are the people who some label as “unfit to parent” often given children needing the most care?” That is a very good point. It is basically like the state is telling people that they don’t care what happens to the special needs kids, when they are so overly concerned of a “normal” child with gay parents.

Then there was the issue of custody of the children. In some situations when a child is born of a heterosexual relationship and the parents split, then one of the parents comes out as gay, the other parent can use that as a reason obtain full custody. That is absolutely ridiculous. Just because a parent is homosexual does not make them any less fit to be a parent. Especially in the case of Ward v Ward that Gomes talked about where the father was awarded full custody over the mother because the mother was a lesbian. Even though the father had be convicted of murdering his first wife and he often neglected his parental duties.

Especially the part of the article about custody astounded me with the stories where the parent loses custody just for being gay. People claim that a gay/lesbian couple raising a child makes the child more likely to be gay. That is absolutely ridiculous. If anything I believe having gay parents may be even better than some heterosexual parents because it would teach the child to be more accepting of people who are different from them.

brookkeeposts-blog

I loved how you said if anything having gay parents would make the child be more accepting. I never thought of that and it is so true! The child could apply those values to anyone who is different than them and accept them no matter what - which is what we should be doing anyways!

helen-south

Pro-Rights.

Abortion has been a heavy topic that has often swirled around in the world of politics often narrowed to this dichotomy of pro-life or pro-choice. But what we don’t really see is this idea of women’s right to her own body. We are led to believe that pro-choice is the giving a women the option to have control over her body, but what it does not tell you is the fact that a women’s body is still politically not her own within this category. There are many restrictions that still come out of this idea of pro-choice. In Backlash and Continuity, Rachel Roth talks about how “the law has typically regarded women’s bodies as men’s property.” (Roth 344) Roth gives us a timeline view of reproductive rights of women through-out time, beginning with the huge achievement that came from Roe v. Wade, granting women the authority to decide whether to carry a pregnancy to term. Even with this success, we still see an area of grey with reproductive control over women. We still find ourselves being questioned on our reproductive rights over the fetus’s right, as if as a women we are just vessels for life, but not considered humans.

A couple things that really disturbed me with Roth’s history of reproductive rights is the history of sterilization. Roth informs us, “the eugenics movement succeeded in institutionalizing and sterilizing masses of “unfit” persons, ranging from developmentally disabled individuals to sexually promiscuous women…the legacy of sterilization abuse continued…shifting primarily to African American, Native American, and Puerto Rican women.” (Roth 347) This overwhelming fact that white privilege is clearly being presented to us. We are all human beings, with just different physical traits that are completely shallow, yet we allow shallow minded-ness cloud our judgement which lead to such despicable actions over specific groups of people. Similarly with the 5 year hormonal contraceptive Norplant, that is surgically implanted under a woman’s skin. The Norplant program, Roth explains through the words of the programs champion Senator Ehlers, was “developed strictly on the standpoint of rights—every child has a right to be born normally.” What this doesn’t allow is a women’s right to her own fertility. Norplant was often surgically implanted into women because of their history. Roth also shares with us, “legislatures quickly entertained measures to give AFDC recipients cash bonuses for using Norplant or to make it a condition of receiving benefits…” (Roth 348) Instead of giving women the option, they used it as a way to corner a women into getting the implant through the choice of offering or taking away benefits/cash bonuses. I highly doubt that if men were the ones to carry pregnancies these issues with reproductive rights would not be an issue and would certainly not have such a fight with fertility rights.

Aside from reproductive rights, there is a whole different issue within the same subject. Homosexual partners and their rights to marriage, a family, and equality within society. I recently read an article on what it means to get married. The overwhelming fact that was clear is that marriage is based on love. When two people are in love, they get married. With Partners as Parents, Charlene Gomes discusses homosexual partners and their rights of marriage and to be parents. Gomes points out, “privileges enjoyed by heterosexual married couples but denied to gay parents include legal recognition of the parent-child relationship for children born during the relationship; recognition of parental status under the Family and Medical Leave Act; access to child support when the parental relationship ends; the right to petition for visitation and custody after the dissolution of a relationship; and adoption and fostering parenting.” (Gomes 409) These privileges are huge when it comes to legality rights as a couple and as a family. To fight a couple who want to get married and raise a family simply because they do not fit in this cookie cutter ideal of what it means to be a couple politically.

What’s tragic to learn is that if you are a homosexual couple trying to start a family, it is much more difficult for you to adopt or even to have access to a surrogate within many states with the argument on whether or not a same-sex couple is fit for a child and the debate on biological parents having custody over the adoptive parents. A very interesting fact that Gomes points out in her article is that “because heterosexual couples are often preferred placements for adoptive children, many gay and lesbian couples willingly adopt (children with physical or mental disabilities).” (Gomes 410) Gomes then brings up the argument of same-sex couples being considered unfit to parent yet they are usually the ones who adopt the children that need the most care. A huge concern comes from this idea that same-sex couples raising children gender-confused children or even raising children causing children to “become” gay. We are faced with this heterosexual ideal that our culture upholds as being the “norm” and also this fear that the gendered structure our society upholds will be threatened because of same-sex couples. This dominant ideology of gender, gender hierarchy, gender roles and gendered ideals are threatened when we think of homosexual couples having the same rights as heterosexual couples, but what our society doesn’t choose to see, is how this gendered ideology we live in is a way to classify people and keeping people casted in a lower classified category from others. The whole gendered system and dominant culture we live in victimizes groups of people, stripping them of their rights.

…

On a different note, I absolutely loved the film Obvious Child. I enjoyed how open she was about her sexuality as a sexual women, revealing many of her own personal problems with her current boyfriend and discussing even their intimacy issues. You do not find women who are open with talking about who they are sexually and how they are with their significant others especially in front of a room of strangers. Aside from this you see a very realistic view when she finds out she has been lied to and cheated on by her boyfriend and her supposedly best friend. After a drunken one night stand, Donna finds herself pregnant and decides to get an abortion. Donna is very sure of herself when making the decision although it is quick. I loved how supportive her mother was when Donna tells her that she is pregnant and is going to get an abortion. Her mother is not only supportive but she also shares her experience with getting an abortion after becoming pregnant with her college boyfriend, which had to be done by “back-alley” abortion because of it being illegal during the 60’s; but assuring her daughter that it was the best decision of her life. Another thing I love about Donna was that when it came to talking about herself and her decision to get an abortion, she spoke about it very personably while keeping the positive attitude and shedding some comedy to it. Not to say that abortion is not a serious matter because it most certainly is an extremely serious matter to be considered. But a women should have the right to her own fertility/body and should not have to feel ashamed for the decision she feels she must need to make. There are many reasons as to why a women would feel she wants an abortion and to take that right away is simply an injustice. Another thing to note, the guy Max who is the father is supportive for her during this serious matter. He is informed during Donna’s stand-up comedy act, to which he leaves during, but when it comes to Valentine’s Day (the day of the abortion), he shows up to support her and then takes care of her afterward.

brookkeeposts-blog

I loved this movie as well! I wrote in my blog that I loved the fact she was open and honest about her sex life. I find that many people are not as open as they should be or often lie about it. I mean I don't think many people would get on stage and tell the world about their sex life, but I think it is important to tell someone. Keeping things to yourself is dangerous! I also agree with you that women should never feel ashamed to make the decision to have an abortion. Its our rights as women to obtain a legal and safe abortion. Unfortunately, there are states and so many people making it difficult for women to access abortion providers :(

Obvious Child

I had never heard about this movie until I watched it for class. It caught my attention right way with the main character, Donna, doing her crude comedy routine. (which I enjoyed). Donna seems like a strong woman who is very open and honest with a great sense of humor. I think the is a great representation for a modern woman - she talks openly about sex without it being taboo, likes to drink, and is not ashamed of herself. After her boyfriend breakups with her she has a one night stand with a rebound which results in an unplanned pregnancy.

I loved how this movie takes a serious subject such as abortion and adds humor to it. I have always been a huge believer laughter takes the pain away for certain situations. When the doctor tells Donna she is in fact pregnant, Donna screams “Fuck!” and the asks for an abortion. The way she asked for it was how someone would order a sandwich, which reminded me of how I might act in a situation like that. The only time she becomes visibly upset is when she finds out how much the procedure costs.

On the other hand, having an abortion is one of the hardest decisions a woman will ever make in her life. Someone who has gone through that may not have the same feelings about this movie as I do.

I never knew that you could be too early on in the pregnancy for an abortion. That is interesting that Donna had to wait two week in order to get the procedure done, which happened to be on Valentines Day.

I loved the way that her mother handled it when Donna told her that she was pregnant and having an abortion. Her mother tells her the story of how she also had an abortion, but since it was before Roe v. Wade she had an illegal abortion. I think that someone who has been pregnant and did not want to keep it, would find this scene unrealistic. One of my really good friends had an abortion a little over a year ago. She was never the same after she had the procedure. She does not regret doing it because at that time she was not ready to have a child but it still haunts her. She is very sensitive and often cries and gets into very depressing moods if we find out one of our other friends is pregnant and is keeping the child. If she sees a mother with a young child it bothers her. Having an abortion was probably the hardest thing she has ever gone through and I wouldn’t even dream of recommending this movie to her. I am positive that if she saw this she would be a mess because it would bring back terrible memories. She told me that she thinks about it every day and how different her life would have been if she was never got pregnant and had to make the decision to have an abortion.

Week 11 Readings

Partners as Parents

Partners as Parents by Charlene Gomes was a very informative article about the struggle gay men and women go through just to start a family, which is something heterosexuals take for granted. Having straight privilege, I was still aware of the struggles that these men and women go through however, I had no idea of the statistics and how difficult the legal system makes it for these people to adopt or conceive. This article was published in 2003, 12 years before gay marriage was legalized so yes, some information is outdated, but I really think this article captures the struggle and presents it in a way that the reader can easily understand. Thankfully same sex marriage is now legal and soon same sex parenting will be as easily as getting married.

In our country, people are still divided on these issues. While reading this article, one of my first thoughts were society is okay with single mothers struggling because the children’s father left but society can’t bare to see two men or two women raise a child. That is one thing that never made sense to me.

Before science, the only way for a couple to have a child was for a man and a woman to have sex. That works for most of the population, but over 3 million Americans are not in heterosexual relationships and that simply doesn’t work. (Gomes, pg. 413) One way that a lesbian could conceive a child would be through insemination. Although this seems like a good idea, Gomes tells us, “While insemination seems like an ideal solution, practical and legal barriers make it less so. Insemination is very expensive and results aren’t always guaranteed. Insurance rarely covers these services - at least where lesbians are concerned - and clinical infertility hasn’t been demonstrated.”(pg. 409). A woman I worked with was having trouble having a baby with her husband and she told me that her insurance covered their infertility treatments but only if they had been married for over a year and provided detailed information on how often they tried. If it is that difficult for a straight, married woman to have infertility treatments covered by insurance then it is nearly impossible for lesbians (or even single women.).

Adoption is another way same sex couples can have a child however there are also legal barriers there too. Children of a step parent can receive more benefits than children of same sex parents. (pg. 410) One thing that really drove me crazy was that if a mother remarries and her husband wants to adopt her children that is completely acceptable, but same sex couples are often subjected to numerous home visits by social workers. (pg. 410)

I cannot understand why America, and most of the world, is so against two loving parents wanting to have a child! It literally blows my mind. So I asked my grandmother, who is a struct Roman Catholic and according to her, it is basically due to religious reasons. I can understand that religion dictates this, but why does it overlap into our government and provide legal barriers for same sex parents wanting to adopt or conceive? The whole point of our country was religious freedom and that religion and government would not overlap…. yet it seems our laws are based on Christianity’s teachings.

Backlash and the Continuity

Backlash and the Continuity by Rachel Roth makes it clear that minority women in this country have the least rights when it comes to reproductive justice. I am taking a class called Reproductive Rights and Justice and this article is exactly what we talk about in that class. Minority women and women in poverty have restricted access to birth control, abortion services, healthcare, etc because of their location and position in society. I believe that society actually makes it harder for these women to gain access to reproductive rights.

Roe v Wade was the Supreme Court ruling that made it legal for a woman to obtain an abortion within the first twenty or so weeks of her pregnancy. However, healthcare rarely covers this cost and this procedure is rather expensive. If a woman manages to get the $600 (or so) for an abortion, then she must have transportation to a clinic.

Multiple states have passed laws that restrict women access to abortions. For example, In some states clinics are hundreds of miles apart from each other. For example a state can make laws such as having a twenty four hour consultation before the procedure. (Roth pg. 346) Now the woman has to a make two trips to the clinic, take two days (most likely unpaid) off from work or drive there and back twice to obtain a procedure that is legal.

Yes birth control is now free. But if a woman wants birth control she has to go to a doctor to get it prescribed since it is a medication. That means she must have heath insurance. Many women in poverty do not have jobs with benefits meaning a simply doctors appointment could cost upward of $100.

Week 10

Hooking Up: Sex in Guyland

I love this article! I found it to be so interesting and a really easy read. Right off the bat, when I read the section about Willard Waller describing the “rating system” in the 1930s I had to reread it because I thought I misread the date. Everything that Waller described still exists today. In the 1930s men that were classified as “Class A” dating material were those who “…have a copious supply of spending money, be well-dressed, be “smooth in manners and appearance…and have access to an automobile.” (Kimmel pg. 193) What is described here is just class privilege. Nothing about how these men treat their fellow classmates or women is said, or if they are ambitious, smart, caring, or kind determines if they are high on the ranking system. These attributes are still valued today (the ones mentioned by the author not me) Today it is called “swag.” Having a car, style, and money are what our culture values and teaches us is more important than having humbling characteristics. And the guys with “swag” or in the “Class A” categories are the ones who are engaging in sexual activity.

Maybe I am wrong or way off but, because I am a huge feminist and have read a lot about this subject, that could be contributing to our rape culture and sexual assault problems on campuses all around the country. These type of people know they are valued and that women want to date or hook up with them. They could feel entitled to getting anything (including whoever) they want. Often times, those brought up in higher income backgrounds get whatever they want without working for it. Things are just handed to them. So this idea of getting whatever you want and taking whatever you want seems to have a blurry line that is often crossed without realization. I absolutely do not think all men are rapists or pigs but if the notion of always getting what you want or getting something handed to you would not be any different if after a few drinks they see a girl at a party they want too. Mix privilege, drugs and alcohol, and a location such as a college campus without any adult supervision and you might have a recipe for disaster.

The section, “Hooking Up and Relationships: “The Talk” is all too familiar to me. This section talks about how it is often the women who want to get to a deeper level such as a relationship and not just a causal hook up. The women are the ones who often ask “So where do we stand” or “what are we doing.” It seemed that every male the author talked to was relationship phobic and only wanted to hook up instead of being committed to a female. Also, it made it seem like females only want a relationship and have no other desires. She would have sex but only if there was a promise of a future relationship with the male. I have absolutely experienced this, but I feel as though I can always tell if a guy just wants to hook up or likes me. Usually it is obvious, but not always. However, there is nothing wrong if both parties want just to be involved sexually, but when feelings get involved then it gets difficult. Once feelings become involved then the person (usually the male) has the power and it turns into a type of patriarchal relationship.

——-

POLYAMOROUS WOMEN, SEXUAL SUBJECTIVITY AND POWER

This was also a very interesting article to read. Polyamory is described by the author as “a form of relationship which people have multiple romantic. sexual, and/or affective partners.” (Sheff pg.252) One of the great things about a women having a polyamorous relationship is that she breaks away from the traditional views of a female. Society often expects women to be pure and innocent, now by a woman being polyamorous, she has the ability to express herself sexually without any inhibitions. This could come from a “wanting more” theory discussed on page 259.

On page 259, the author describes a 36 year old white woman who who had a good career as a magazine editor and was a mother of three. She rejected the role of monogamy because she felt she wanted more. Multiple women go on to explain their reasons for choosing to reject the idea of a monogamous marriage as well. ““Wanting more” involved not only pursuing higher levels of education but also rejecting a form of sexuality and family that was not working for her and forging a polyamorous alternative.” I cannot help but think of Betty Friedan’s the Feminist Mystique. Women are all too often forced into the role of a mother which is great, some women love being mothers. However, what often happens is that these women no longer can put time and effort into climbing the corporate latter and their careers suffer, or they take jobs such as part time or teachers because that works best with raising a family. Meanwhile their husbands get to go to work every day and succeed in a career they love. Now this is only for the women who can afford to stay at home or work limited hours so they can be with their children. Women who are forced to work full time do not even have the luxury of wanting more (career or education wise) because they are working to survive.

By rejecting the idea of not having a family and being polyamorous allows women to focus on higher education, furthering their careers, and even exploring their sexuality.

Mainstream Porn

As we all know, the adult entertainment industry is huge. There are a variety of mainstream porn websites such as Pornhub, Xvideos, Youporn, Redtube, etc. For the assignment, I chose to explore one of my personal favorites - http://www.xvideos.com. The homepage has eight rows of five thumbnails of videos with the titles of each right underneath. This particular website displays their most recent videos on their homepage. Right above the videos are categories including such categories as Anal, Asian Women, BBW, Black Women, Blonde, Gay, Interracial, Lesbian, Shemale, and about a dozen other categories. This leads me to believe that this website is very inclusive to all types of people. Some examples of videos that were on the homepage were also very inclusive to all types of people.

When browsing for the perfect video to watch, everyone has their own preference, but since this mainstream porn typically people do look for what they are familiar with. If they want to watch a specific kink then they typically go to another website that specializes in that. I noticed that the homepage is also inclusive to race, gender, age, sexual orientation, and even some type of kink. Out of the forty videos shown on page 1, there were only two heterosexual white people having sex. There were 3 videos of interracial couples, 4 threesomes, 1 asian masturbation, 6 lesbian scenes. What I noticed was missing was homosexual men and any type of disability.

The point of watching porn (for most people) is to get off. With that being said, I feel as though I should acknowledge the fact that there are porn videos that exploit certain types of people. Looking through the next few pages, I found Asians are exploited and fetishized more than any other race. There were several “Thai Massage with happy endings” videos. The girl is always dressed in a sexual version of a kimono, (which is Japanese but is tradition “Asian” attire to an unknowing viewer I guess?) who starts off giving a massage and then all of a sudden she is performing oral. In two of these videos, there is oriental sounding music in the background and the person getting the massage is not asian - he is white.

Also, I think for most people watching porn and wanting to get off they do not pay attention to the stereotypes or possibly offensive material they are watching. I am an avid consumer of porn but I often see things I disagree with, such as the over sexualizing of cultures. Yes, it is hot a beautiful Asian women having sex with someone, but it is important to remember that the director of this video is insulting the heritage of Asians.

britthuff13-blog

Tomboy

This movie brought out a lot of different emotions for me. I think it was pretty heart breaking at moments, and at some points I think made points that weren’t really helpful, and at others was really great. It really showed the lengths that children and people will go to try to remain true to themselves, and how terrifying it can be for the world to find out your secret.

The beginning of the film starts with what appears to be a young boy who has just moved into a new home and neighborhood. Mikael meets some local children, including Lisa, and begins to have a friendship with them. We then find out that Mikael is really Laure, and is a young girl. Mikael keeps it a secret that she has told all the neighborhood children from her parents, until her younger sister finds out. When out playing with the children, Mikael watches the boys and starts to imitate some of their behaviors like not wearing a shirt and spitting. He develops a close relationship with Lisa, what I would call a crush and they kiss. As the end of summer approaches, Mikael’s mother finds out that her daughter has being telling everyone she is a boy. She yells and is angry with Mikael, makes him put on a dress and go to his friends house, including Lisa’s, to tell them that he is actually a girl. After that Mikael runs into his neighborhood friends who make him prove that he is really a girl. Mikael then avoids all the kids in the neighborhood, until Lisa reaches out to him. It seems that their friendship may still stand.

Some moments of this film that really broke my heart were the scenes with the mom and when the kids made Mikael prove who he was. I hated the reaction that the mother had to Mikael, and hate that this is a more common reality for more kids then not. Rather than seeing and accepting that her child was more comfortable and happy being a boy, she tried to force Mikael to be a girl. She even called it “pretending”. This is of my opinion, as I did not write this movie, but I don’t think that Mikael was pretending at all. I think that he truly identified as a male, and that’s why he did what he did because it was most natural to him. Even Mikael’s sister Jeanne easily accepted that her brother was a boy. Mikael’s mom does not understand that forcing her daughter to wear a dress will not make her into a girl , and that she obviously feels so uncomfortable in it. The part with the children making Mikael prove his biological sense was also heart breaking, because I think for Mikael it was the exposure of his secret that he didn’t want any of them to find out. It was also crude and so invasive to have to prove that in this way. I think that if Mikael had his way, we would have kept being Mikael because that was who he felt like he truly was.

I did think that it was awesome to see this from a child’s perspective, and gives people the realization that this is something that happens to many as children. I wish that the film would have went the direction of the parents accepting who Mikael was, and letting him be who he wanted to be. I think the film could reinforce for some the belief that for children this is just a phase or just an act, when in reality children are usually depressed and hurt when they are forced to perform a gender they do not align with. I guess I have really mixed feelings about this movie, but I am really happy I got to watch it! What are your feelings about it?

brookkeeposts-blog

I agree, it was awesome tot see this from a child’s perspective because most of the time, transgender people feel they are in the wrong body from as early on as they can. I was not so sure the film reinforced the fact that it was just a phase, because Mickeal’s parents painted his room blue, his hair was cut short, and he wore traditionally male clothing. It could have been a phase but his interests were completely opposite from Jeannes. She portrayed traditional female aspects such as liking to dance, having long hair, wanting to be a famous. etc. I really liked the movie though and am glad I watched it because I probably would never have picked it up if it was not assigned!

gend712

Tomboy

I really enjoyed the movie that we watched this week, Tomboy, and I’m really happy that we got to watch it. But, the first thing that I had noticed about the movie was the description that Hulu put up for the movie. They put, “A 10-year-old girl, settling into her new neighborhood outside Paris, is mistaken for a boy and has to live up to this new identity since it’s too late for the mistake to be clarified.” This really got to me because Hulu is just making it seem like it was just a mistake that Laure decided to go along with, instead of the fact that she made a conscious decision to try and live as a boy under the name Mikael. I know that Hulu’s description isn’t the fault of the movie makers, but it just caught my eye and I found it upsetting that in a way Hulu was downplaying and completely ignoring the fact that this is what life is like for a trans person.

There were a lot of nice parts to the movie that I really appreciated. My favorite part of the movie was the relationship with Mikael and Jeanne. You can tell throughout the beginning of the movie that Jeanne really looks up to her sister and that she sees her as her best friend. That makes it so much nicer when Jeanne finds out that her sister is trying out living as a boy. When Jeanne went out to play with Mikael and all of his friends, it was awesome to hear her talk so highly of her brother and how he used to stand up for her against bullies. That was a really cool scene because even though earlier that day Jeanne found out her sister was a boy, she never questioned it. She accepted the fact that she now had an older brother and even played along by making up stories to make him look like an awesome big brother.

Watching Jeanne’s reaction made the end a little more uncomfortable to me. After their mom found out that Laure was living as Mikael, she acted the complete opposite of after Jeanne found out. The fact that the mom took Mikael and forced him to wear a dress and then go around telling his friends that he is a girl was absolutely ridiculous. What I found even worse was the way that she tried to justify what she was doing. She told Mikael that school was going to start in 2 weeks and everyone was going to find out the truth anyways so they might as well tell everyone ahead of time. I found that horrible (I was even screaming at the TV at this point) because there are so many ways that the mom could have worked with and helped Mikael, besides forcing him to out himself to the only friends he had.

In the end I found it nice that Lisa ultimately accepted Mikael (or maybe she accepted him as Laure? I couldn’t really tell). As you can tell, I watched this movie figuring Mikael was transgender and that is probably he did the things that he did to fit in more with the boys. But the story never really tells us if that is the case, so I was just wondering if anyone else saw it like that?

brookkeeposts-blog

I don’t think Mickael was officially transgender, but I think he would have made the choice to be. When he told the kids his name was Mickael, I felt he did that on impulse. I did not get the sense he referred to himself as a boy ever before. One thing I that troubled me the whole movie was how his parents did not realize he was not just a tomboy, but longed to be a real boy.

dawnoftoday-blog

TomBoy: Mickael/Laure

Tomboy (commonly known as a girl who acts like a boy) was a movie made in 2011, is described on IMDB as “A 10-year old transgender boy moves to a new neighborhood with his family. He introduces himself as a boy for the first time to new friends”. Using the word transgender here seems to me a bit of a reach. Only because the main character Mickael/Laure never actually refers to him/herself as any gender rather lets others choose his/her pronouns for him/her. For the sake of writing this blog I am going to refer to Mickael/Laure as a boy considering it seemed to me like that’s what he preferred. While watching this film I noticed that not only did the main character reveal his preferred gender right away but the film makers were also discreet until Laure (as she is referred to by her mother) gets out of the tub and it is clear she is in fact a female. After this all evidence points to Laure being only truly happy as Mickael and when he is fitting in with the boys. Although he seems to be happy, a great deal of stress comes along with identifying as a male while having all the parts meant to be a girl. The first instance was when Mickael had to pee and ran to the woods to do it. He is discovered and the boys say he has peed his pants. He is mortified and does not return to play the next day but his new friend and love interest Lisa decides they should play alone at her place instead. Here she puts makeup on him and says it suits him, that he looks great as a girl. When he goes home with the makeup on his mom says “she” looks great with makeup and is very happy to see Mickael looking like a girl. For me it seemed as if Mickael was content in living this double life as long as the two didn’t collide. When it does because his younger sister Jeanne finds out he is pretending to be a boy, it becomes more obvious that this is a secret he does not intend on sharing with his family. I loved Jeanne by the way, I loved how accepting she was of her big brother/sisters identity and sense of self. I liked how the film makers made her the complete opposite of Mickael, a hyper girly girl who had no intention of identifying as a boy and knew she was a girl. The moments they shared together were often my favorites because it seemed to me that Mickael didn’t feel the need to act a certain way around Jeanne. The scene that made me most nervous was the swimming scene where Mickael is trying on his “new” bathing suit and knows it looks weird in the front where a penis should be. So he makes a clay penis and going swimming with it. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for it to fall out and for Mickael to be exposed in the most embarrassing way possible. Luckily this doesn’t happen. When he was exposed it was much worse. In a way I understand the mothers thought process. How could Laure (as she knows him) go to school and continue to pretend to be a boy? I had a simply solution which was for the mother to ask the teacher to refer to Laure as Mickael and keep his secret. However I suppose that wasn’t something they thought of or saw as a possibility. And to avoid having his classmates find out at school and make a public fuss, his mother decides to go door to door and tell all his friends individually. Which didn’t keep Mickael from being exposed very publically later in the woods. This scene broke my heart. The humiliation on Mickael’s face was so horrifying I didn’t know how he was going to get past that moment. However in the scenes that follow and in the entire movie Mickael proved to be stronger and more forgiving that any 10 year old I ever knew. He forgives his mom and seems to be happy at home and even goes to talk to Lisa after she refereed to their shared kisses as “disgusting”. He even ends up revealing his real name and seems content to identify as a girl since he has no other choice.

gend712

As I was watching the movie, I kind of read into it that Mikael was probably transgender too, like IMDB. Even though he never flat out said anything about about being transgender or about how he was born the wrong gender, his actions seem very different from your typical tomboy. Especially in the part with the clay penis, that was more than him wanting to be like the other boys, he literally wanted to be one of the boys. That’s the way I looked at it anyway.

brookkeeposts-blog

I also loved the moment Mikael and Jeanne shared together. She was a young child without bias, and of course she would love her older sister turned brother no matter what. Everything put into films are intentional, so the story line of Jeanne accepting Mickael for who he truly is was awesome. They could have gone in any direction, but they chose to use the innocence of an unbiased child in the film, which was really moving. I am not if Jeanne knew the extent of what Mickael was doing or if she thought it was just a joke, but I still really loved the fact she went along with it. She would have been one of his biggest supporters in life.

The Gay Rat

The Nature v. Nurture debate is always brought up when discussing why someone is gay. (Although, who cares why?) The questions of did something traumatic happen to you in your childhood? Were you born that way? Did you choose to be gay? I have many gay friends both men and women, who tell me they have been asked these questions multiple times. Society can never understand why someone would be anything other than heteronormative (which they are). IT seems that these questions have also plagued scientists so much that in the 1981, three scientists published a study called Sexual Preference: Development in Men and Women. Within this study, these scientists interviewed hundreds of homosexual men and women. However, they did not find one single factor that stood out in what causes a person to be gay. Maybe because I have a feminist mindset, but ever since I was young I could never see anything wrong with being gay. The fact that it is such a huge debate and was a big deal to get marriage legalized was absurd to me. Society treats gay men and women similar to who they treated African Americans in the early decades. I cannot make sense of how and why there are all these studies of what makes someone gay.

Reading about the experiment with rats was actually very interesting. I do not have an extensive knowledge in psychology but this really did intrigue me. The researchers who preformed this experiment were very through from even examining what the rat’s mother ate. (pg. 228) I can see how that makes sense though, for an experiment to be valid, everything must be accounted for.

One of the conclusions the researchers drew was hormonal effects on the brain. (pg. 232) If this applies to humans, then perhaps it could effect the way we perceive who we are attracted to. I can’t help but wonder if all the GMO’s and preservatives use use in our food could effect this? Is the reason why we are suddenly seeing an increase in the want for gay rights? OR is it because our society finally realized we need to judge everyone equally? Personally, I could care less what makes someone gay, but it is interesting concept.

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