So, to make sure her family wouldnāt stop her final wishes from being enacted, I havenāt been able to talk about this publicly, but now I can:
On March 1, @rubynye (aka Ny Martin) collapsed in her kitchen due to sudden cardiac arrest. She was declared brain dead and passed on March 3. She was 50 years old.
Ny was a singularly talented person. She was not only a gifted writer, singer, poet, chef and artist, she had the ability to make you feel like the most important person in the world just by smiling at you.
I first encountered her in 2009, on the Star Trek XI kinkmeme on LJ. I was in AWE of her wordsmithery. She could so carefully identify and communicate moments that I was intimidated by her immediately. I didnāt know she even knew who I was until she used my head canon in a story. I was gobsmacked.
She would tell you she felt the same way about me, but I always felt like I was honored to call her my friend.
I feel like itās important to say that Ny was a fan of color, and as a Black Woman often faced down things in fandom that were dehumanizing, demoralizing, or just enraging. I learned how to be a better antiracist from her, how to be a better friend, and how to be a better creator in a fandom with non-white characters. She was sometimes rightfully, righteously furious, and she taught me how to sit with her in those moments without trying to fix them. I always felt honored to have earned that trust.
Ny loved so much. She adored children, and would often ask after my nibblings. She cooked for everyone, and it was common for her to justā¦mail people food. Here, rainbow fudge. Here, hemp butter. Here, a Jamaican fruitcake. When she came to visit me years ago, she insisted on cooking for me before she left, so Iād have dinners she made. She loved sending people things, both in her millions of bcced emails and in the mail. I have so many postcards of things she saw that made her think of me. She loved mythology, especially Minoans, and she loved space. She loved so much.
One time she printed out a story I wrote and hand annotated it with glee before mailing it to me. Itās one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever given me.
I could always ask her anything, be it a question about a Black characterās hair or a question about quince jam. I could tell her any crazy idea I had and she would gleefully play in the space.
Long time readers might not know, but it may be obvious in retrospect; when I needed to give Sam Wilson a little sister in Struggle in the Architecture, I named her Ruby in honor of Ny.
Her queue is still going here, and I think many of us are dreading the day it runs out.
If you knew Ny and would like to talk to other people who loved her about your memories and share the things you would have shared with her, we have a discord server, and you can contact me for the link.
If you would like to help her partner pay for her burial, there is a gofundme.
If you want to honor her memory, tell someone something joyful. Donate to a local food pantry.
There will be an online memorial April 12, 1pm EDT. You can sign up for announcements via a Google group: https://groups.google.com/g/nyani-announce
Ny was a blessing in life and will remain a blessing in memory.
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
