that Lauren, she could have her own show

sam/lauren, white and jewish, she/her, fandom old. samalander on AO3

[intosnarkness]

I’ve gotten like 25 new followers this week and the last “about me” I wrote was 6 years ago, so here's a rundown;

Name: Lauren, but I answer to Sam or Snarkness

Age: fandom old, real world middle aged. 40s.

Housemate: tagged as “cancerkidroommate” “ckr”, “casa del Hawkeyes” (yes this is incorrect and I don’t care), he is my best friend and has been dealing with cancer for almost 10 years now.

Family: if you’re not into kids, I tag the nibblings as “bleep and Blorp and trip” or “auntshit”

You know me from:

AO3 (samalander)

The cello post

The muppets post

Spencer the soup cat

ignore the fun police

yelling about voting

Jurassic enrichment

Feed Your Friends

Tumblr’s 2nd favorite sci-fi dad

Cat:

Hercules Mulligan

Asks are open, chats make me anxious but if you send one I’ll probably read it.

Trans women are women. Trans men are men. NB people are NB. TERFs, radfems, and gender critical folks fuck directly off please.

[villainwithacrush]

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

it really is impossible to end a sex scene like Ok and then the goo did come out. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

[rylandsgrace]

#Elmo's so real

[kamaela]

one of the things i find most compelling about ilya and shane is. well. imbalance. it's so rich it's so goddamn full of minerals it's insane. yes there's the closer to the surface stuff. the shane has, ilya has not. friends, teammates, family. yes yes, all important, all good stuff, but it's more it's---

okay so ilya can read shane like a book, which is no surprise. this boy, with his upbringing? would be able to spot an emotion from a mile away. this boy has a masters degree in microexpressions and he would have graduated at the age of like, eight. the tempo of the tapping fingers on the bench, the weight of footfalls on the floorboards, the "is their bed made today?", "is he wearing his rings today?", the "she didn't hug me as tight and he shut the door just a bit too loudly and fuck i don't want to come home from hockey practice," because reading the room is surviving it.

that boy's every breath was inextricably tied to the unpredictable beast of one, nay, two, angry men and a desperately sad woman. there was no room left for him to expand.

enter ilya freshly, what, 17? hockey prodigy, safe from family-induced suffocation by 4000 odd miles. he's a pro. he clocks shane in about as long as it takes for him to light his fourth cigarette. he sees the freckles and that gay panic and he thinks, im going to have some fun.

and he clocks him again and again. he sees shane so well, he sees the perfectionism, he sees the pressure he sees the anxiety and the discomfort and the head-down-ass-up-yearning to get cracked and is blind only to the fact that shane could possibly see something worth more than hotel room fucks in him. 

but over time? over years and years? the weight of seeing is heavy. particularly when it's not, well, reciprocated? at least not to the same extent. shane's particular brand of issues lend themselves to a kind of self-centredness that just does not give way to picking up on those microexpressions like ilya does. ilya has to reach that point of vulnerability (which is so utterly torturous for an avoidant) where he has to actually say the shit out loud, before Shane really notices and kicks himself into gear. that shit is heavyyyyy.

we are 11 years down the line by the end of TLG right? reid does touch on this a little bit in that book ya, but I guess, i want more. what does the next 11 years look like? this dynamic cannot continue and end well. so, what? someone put it under a microscope and lemme seeee

[yiiiiiiiikes25]

girl u gotta warn me before u point the bat signal directly in my eyes. (you pointed it at the sky i’m just already standing over it breathing heavily)

i think yes, not being anticipated in the way ilya has a 30-year endowed chair professorship in Clocking it Studies does hurt. to some extent hypervigilance is an implicit cry for someone else to be as careful with you as you are with the world

and also! shane is without an agenda or assumptions or intuition. he just asks, and he’d like to hear the answer, and he’s completely willing to go in the wrong direction and be physically turned towards the problem. and—it’s also okay if ilya isn’t ready to share. i would imagine that the implied patience of that, the “i’m here whether or not you rip yourself open for me,” is its own safety to be grateful for. two sides of a coin, maybe. i think for ilya much more than shane it’s not possible to get everything he needs from his romantic partner (part of why it irks me so bad that reid gave him no other intimate, consistent ties)—he needs, and presumably will, find other funny, damaged people with whom the ironic distance isn’t distance at all. also, like, how long does it take to completely shed the reflex to hide? i don’t think it ever goes away fully. a partner who’s bugged by that becomes its kind of stress

and when shane does make a jump or an inference it’s so plainly open: “hey, that’s not what this is, you and me. maybe it was at first, but not now and not for a long time.” what???? for someone who watched for danger, but who would also have caught and been hit just as brutally by vanishing glimpses of care and love, what a fucking relief that what you see is pretty much what you get (after some basic algebra about the closet and control issues and maybe some weird mom stuff. ilya’s got it), and that what you get is uncomplicated, whole, thorough devotion. secure attachment is no small gift

i dunno i think a lot about how one model for parity in relationships is based on equal rest. i do wonder whether on the whole ilya rests as much with shane as shane does with ilya. if he doesn’t i agree it’s for exactly the reasons you’ve enumerated

[rubybweek]

Happy Day Three!

stores in the original fiction tag; stories that rely on a canon that isn’t firm such as mythology, Goncherov, Humans are Space Orcs, or Athropomorfic; stories that make you go “Huh? Huh!”

Who has some unusual fics to share?

[intosnarkness]

Me: I’m going to buckle down and write chapter 7 of OWE.

Also me: oh god I’m going to have to reread the first six chapters it’s been too long

Me, continued: this is why people use ai. I’m not going to, but I get it now.

[cloudabserk]

boob pillow

[hangthehierophant]

Heated Rivalry Ask Meme!

45 questions; please reblog and ask each other questions! Let’s be social and have a fun time!

(If there’s a question listed that you prefer not to answer then reblog in the tags “don’t ask me number” if u want to)

What does your username mean?

How did you first hear about Heated Rivalry?

What were you a fan of first? Book or show? (Or fanfic??)

Have you read any of the books? What’s your favorite?

Are you a fan of romance books in general?

Are you a fan of sports fiction in general?

Had you seen any of the cast/crew’s works prior to Heated Rivalry?

Had you ever watched any Canadian shows prior to Heated Rivalry?

Do you like hockey irl? Do you have a favorite team? Have you ever been to a game?

Have you ever ice skated, roller skated or played hockey?

Have you ever been to Canada or Russia?

Do you speak another language?

Favorite character (besides Shane or Ilya)?

Favorite female character?

Favorite ship (besides Hollanov)?

A favorite Hollanov moment?

A favorite Skip (Scott/Kip) moment?

A favorite Ilya quote?

A favorite Shane quote?

A favorite Shane (non-Hollanov) moment?

A favorite Ilya (non-Hollanov) moment?

Favorite song from season 1?

Favorite place/setting from season 1?

A favorite outfit from season 1?

Underrated moment from season 1?

Favorite Hudson quote/moment?

Favorite Connor quote/moment?

Rec a fanfic! Or fan edit! Or fanart! Or fan artist!

You have to buy coffee for 1 Heated Rivalry character, who are you buying for and what are you bringing them?

What song should the arena play when Ilya scores a goal?

What song should the arena play when Shane scores a goal?

What song should the arena play when Hayden scores a goal?

What song should the arena play when Marly scores a goal?

What song should the arena play when JJ scores a goal?

What song should the arena play when Scott scores a goal?

Favorite AU for these here characters?

Favorite headcanon?

Which character is most likely to have a secret tumblr blog?

Do you have a fan-cast for any characters not seen in season 1? (Ilya’s mom, Troy, Ryan, Luca, Farah etc)

A band/artist/song you want to be featured in season 2?

What would YOU name the MLH Ottawa team?

What colors do YOU think the MLH Ottawa team should sport?

Biggest wish for season 2?

What color is Shane’s Dildo?

What color is Ilya’s Dildo (u know he has at least one)?

[rubybweek]

full prompt list | faqs

[rubybweek]

Today is day two, Time Travel!

fandoms that finished being produced/aired/published >5 years ago; stories older than 3 years; stories from a fandom you used to be in

What year are you going back to? If you’re in 2009, stop by Star Trek XI and say hi, cause that’s where I’ll be!

[intosnarkness]

I know physical media isn’t a thing anymore but the way I want to own a Heated Rivalry bluray box set. Oh my god. Full six episode commentary with Rachel Reid and Jacob Tierney. Full six episode commentary with Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie. Supercut of the best parts of the fucking press tour. Bloopers. Outtakes. Deleted scenes. Get the straights on What Chaos to give me a hockey primer. and I get to own it? Forever? Burn it on little discs and sell it to me. You can have all my money.

[intosnarkness]

We did it Joe

[penandinkprincess]

the way shane SHOVED his way through the door at their second hookup does always make me cackle imagining the one time he does that and ilya doesn't move back fast enough and just gets fucking NAILED with the door.

man shows up to the bus the next day with a bruise across his temple and cheek and everyone is just ??? rozy?? what happened??? did someone come after you after??? you didn't even run your mouth THAT much in this match???

and t GOD ilya is a pro at just making things up on the spot because even if he and hollander WEREN'T secret, there is no way in HELL he is going to admit to sporting a shiner because he just didn't get out of the way of a door fast enough.

[fuckrozanov]

i actually don’t think i was alive until i watched ilya mouth ‘more’ at shane from across that gym floor

[comingatthecottage]

#ILYA BEING ABLE TO FINALLY ASK SOMEONE ELSE FOR MORE……… more ilya more more more . Omg

^^excellent tags from prev

[naturalpr3y]

wait what the hell why would u leave this in the tags . Their power dynamic is directly inverting ilyas abuse at the hands of his family like …..😭 SO GOOD

[monstersovka]

🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️

if you want to get a tattoo with a trans dragon or print it for yourself (not for commercial use) then you can send me a donation in the amount of $10 or more and do it! 🖤🏳️‍⚧️

[morggo]

2026 - 2025 - 2024 - 2023

in spite of it all, happy 2026 pride.

you can download current and past hi-res versions of these over at my ko-fi (ok to print for personal use): https://ko-fi.com/mxmorgan/shop/freedownloads

you can also snag shirts here which go to various orgs: https://mxmorgan.threadless.com/collections/pride

these get reposted a whole lot from here to reddit to twitter to tiktok and on and on, and i don't personally care whether or not i'm credited. i made these for everyone to use, enjoy, and find meaning in them. i appreciate folks who do credit me, but if able, please at least link to the threadless shop in the previous post - folks can get an official shirt where 90% of earnings go to trans led orgs focused on mental health (which is an important matter in general, but very personal to me) and not from a scam bot site selling AI-churned maga garbage where you probably won't get one anyway. i also suggest downloading the files from my ko-fi - they are free/PWYW and you can use them to make your own shirt, patch, embroidery project, whatever. tips are always nice, cuz i do like a pizza now and then, but never required for download.

final thought - breaking the pride tradition and more than likely won't make a new piece. the top one from TDOV is all i'm making this year. i have my focus on other projects currently and i don't want to force a poster design. these came from a specific head space and my current head space is Very Tired lmao so i wanna work on other things. 👍

[noelledeltarune]

before pride month ends does anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

[noelledeltarune]

posting this on the first day of june so you all have plenty of time to gather your nerves and whatnot

[artseamoni]

the highly requested "Ilya in Shane's jersey" art 👀