Bruce Thomas Wayne

Philanthropist billionaire and investor from Gotham. Owner and CEO of Wayne Enterprises.

[brucetwayne-official]

please come get your sons, they are trying to explode each other w/ fireworks

I’m joining in.

[brucetwayne-official]

Hey gramps, where have you been? I overheard dad say something about the hospital and salt for some reason??

- @nickwayne-ocblog

Had too much salt, and so my heart gave out. They told me I should be getting out soon though.

[brucetwayne-official]

Don't mean to alarm but your Bianca is in the ICU. Has been for about a day or so. Fell(?) off a bridge. Felt I should let you know. Told Jason and Alfred as well.

- @born-in-the-ace-chemicals

Damn it. Well, when I get out of this unit I’ll come down. My nurses are freaking out about me tearing out my wires again so I can’t really move.

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[redhoodisalive]

why the fuck would i bring you salt?

[brucetwayne-official]

Cause you love me and you want your father to be happy.. duh.

[redhoodisalive]

ummm no.

[brucetwayne-official]

Uhhh. Yes.

[redhoodisalive]

i loved you enough to get you food. okay? that’s it.

[brucetwayne-official]

You love me enough all the time, don’t lie to me son.

[redhoodisalive]

da da da da blocking you outttttt

[brucetwayne-official]

You can’t ignore it. You love your daddddd.

[redhoodisalive]

shut up. shut up. shut up.

[brucetwayne-official]

I’ll only shut up if you come to the hospital and see me.

[redhoodisalive]

fine. are you happy now?

[brucetwayne-official]

Really happy that I have my SON who LOVES ME with me ☺️

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[redhoodisalive]

why the fuck would i bring you salt?

[brucetwayne-official]

Cause you love me and you want your father to be happy.. duh.

[redhoodisalive]

ummm no.

[brucetwayne-official]

Uhhh. Yes.

[redhoodisalive]

i loved you enough to get you food. okay? that’s it.

[brucetwayne-official]

You love me enough all the time, don’t lie to me son.

[redhoodisalive]

da da da da blocking you outttttt

[brucetwayne-official]

You can’t ignore it. You love your daddddd.

[redhoodisalive]

shut up. shut up. shut up.

[brucetwayne-official]

I’ll only shut up if you come to the hospital and see me.

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[redhoodisalive]

why the fuck would i bring you salt?

[brucetwayne-official]

Cause you love me and you want your father to be happy.. duh.

[redhoodisalive]

ummm no.

[brucetwayne-official]

Uhhh. Yes.

[redhoodisalive]

i loved you enough to get you food. okay? that’s it.

[brucetwayne-official]

You love me enough all the time, don’t lie to me son.

[redhoodisalive]

da da da da blocking you outttttt

[brucetwayne-official]

You can’t ignore it. You love your daddddd.

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[redhoodisalive]

why the fuck would i bring you salt?

[brucetwayne-official]

Cause you love me and you want your father to be happy.. duh.

[redhoodisalive]

ummm no.

[brucetwayne-official]

Uhhh. Yes.

[redhoodisalive]

i loved you enough to get you food. okay? that’s it.

[brucetwayne-official]

You love me enough all the time, don’t lie to me son.

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[redhoodisalive]

why the fuck would i bring you salt?

[brucetwayne-official]

Cause you love me and you want your father to be happy.. duh.

[redhoodisalive]

ummm no.

[brucetwayne-official]

Uhhh. Yes.

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[redhoodisalive]

why the fuck would i bring you salt?

[brucetwayne-official]

Cause you love me and you want your father to be happy.. duh.

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

No salt for you. None at all.

[brucetwayne-official]

Just a little. A LITTLE BIT.

[brucetwayne-official]

Thanks for bringing me dinner @redhoodisalive. You forgot the salt though.

[alfredjpennyworth]

what’s for dinner tonight? i’m debating whether i should go.

Roast chicken with seasonal vegetables, and apple crumble for desert, though I am open to suggestions. I do hope you'll join us, Master Jason. I will note that Master Bruce may still be laid up in the hospital after the... salt incident.

[redhoodisalive]

oh, he is? great. i’ll show up to dinner. that sounds delicious.

[alfredjpennyworth]

Marvellous. I'm sure Master Dick will be delighted to hear.

[redhoodisalive]

yeah. he keeps fussing over me not coming to dinner.

[alfredjpennyworth]

Quite. Though, I do suspect he simply prefers knowing everyone has made it home safely.

[redhoodisalive]

i agree. i doubt he wants me dead again.

[xxdickiebirdxx]

YOU'RE COMING TO DINNER????🫵🥹

LITTLE WINGGGGG

[redhoodisalive]

shush.

[xxdickiebirdxx]

D'awwww, I'm gonna squeeze youuu

[redhoodisalive]

don’t you dare.

[xxdickiebirdxx]

You tolerate my hugs, and you know it🫵

You're also strong enough to PUSH me off

[redhoodisalive]

just shut up.

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

I too, shall join in the hug just to spite you.

[brucetwayne-official]

stop rubbing the fact you guys are free in my face ☹️

[brucetwayne-official]

they found me.. and took me back.. 😕

(pic from Pinterest)

[supermans-fave-vigilante]

DAD JESUS CHRIST.

[brucetwayne-official]

My nurses are so tired of me. I either run away or have a medical emergency.. it’s so funny.

[supermans-fave-vigilante]

your poor nurses oh my god. and i thought i saw the worst of you being a terrible patient. do i need to come BACK to gotham general to keep an eye on you

[brucetwayne-official]

I just keep having medical emergencies. Not really my fault..

[supermans-fave-vigilante]

THAT'S NOT BETTER?????? WHAT MEDICAL EMERGENCIES DO YOU KEEP HAVING??? YOU'RE ONLY IN THERE FOR ONE THING??

[brucetwayne-official]

My heart is going crazyyy.

[brucetwayne-official]

they found me.. and took me back.. 😕

(pic from Pinterest)

[supermans-fave-vigilante]

DAD JESUS CHRIST.

[brucetwayne-official]

My nurses are so tired of me. I either run away or have a medical emergency.. it’s so funny.

[supermans-fave-vigilante]

your poor nurses oh my god. and i thought i saw the worst of you being a terrible patient. do i need to come BACK to gotham general to keep an eye on you

[brucetwayne-official]

I just keep having medical emergencies. Not really my fault..

[brucetwayne-official]

they found me.. and took me back.. 😕

(pic from Pinterest)

[supermans-fave-vigilante]

DAD JESUS CHRIST.

[brucetwayne-official]

My nurses are so tired of me. I either run away or have a medical emergency.. it’s so funny.

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

pssst

Yes?

[raedhood]

I have adopted you now

hello my son.

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

....Pardon?

I believe we've skipped quite a few steps here...

[raedhood]

shhhh

you can call me momma 🥰

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

???

What about Bruce??? Are you not Fatson's mother already????

[raedhood]

FORGET ABOUT BRUCE.

I can be more than one person’s mother.

I already signed the papers

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

But....my mother is Talia...?

Wait—you signed the papers?? I AM NOT UP FOR ADOPTION????

[raedhood]

but I SIGNED THE PAPERS I AM NOW YOUR MOTHER too bad so sad.

now, let’s go out for ice cream, son!

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

@brucetwayne-official how could you put me up for adoption?? I didn't know your salt was more precious than me...

[brucetwayne-official]

I didn’t ☹️☹️ those papers are FAKE. I’d never give away my baby

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

Great. We've got conflicting opinions in court now.

@raedhood what do you have to say about this?

[brucetwayne-official]

im gonna make my heart give out again so I don’t have to go to court.

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

pssst

Yes?

[raedhood]

I have adopted you now

hello my son.

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

....Pardon?

I believe we've skipped quite a few steps here...

[raedhood]

shhhh

you can call me momma 🥰

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

???

What about Bruce??? Are you not Fatson's mother already????

[raedhood]

FORGET ABOUT BRUCE.

I can be more than one person’s mother.

I already signed the papers

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

But....my mother is Talia...?

Wait—you signed the papers?? I AM NOT UP FOR ADOPTION????

[raedhood]

but I SIGNED THE PAPERS I AM NOW YOUR MOTHER too bad so sad.

now, let’s go out for ice cream, son!

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

@brucetwayne-official how could you put me up for adoption?? I didn't know your salt was more precious than me...

[brucetwayne-official]

I didn’t ☹️☹️ those papers are FAKE. I’d never give away my baby