onyx @bruhiplier-blog - Tumblr Blog

browsedankmemes

Man killed by french assassin (Graphic)

dankmemesreasonforliving

theweirdwideweb

clonerightsagenda

My brother shared another great DnD story with me.

So the adventurers had picked up a girl who’d caught cold, and as she was coughing some guy on the street offered her candy. Naturally, as they had been well trained by their parents, they refused. The guy apologized and clarified. “My name is Nicola Ricola,” he explained, “and these are my newly invented cough drops.”

Since he’s just starting his business, he needs money, so he asks the adventuring team to help him raid an ancient city jampacked with treasure. Once, a long time ago, a king demanded he be buried in a huge pyramid + enormous city complex. He got a bunch of slaves to start building, but died partway through construction. They kept working, but the force of his greed was so great that even when they died they got up and kept working. So there’s this ancient city being constantly expanded and repaired by an army of dead. And of course it’s jampacked with loot.

So they raid the place, and as they’re headed out Nicola mentions in an aside that he’s glad that curse wasn’t true. They pressure him, but he just says something is supposed to happen to anyone who steals the treasure, but they’re fine.

A while later, he contacts them again asking for protection duty. Something has been killing off other members of the expedition. They take shelter in a room and then hear something banging down the hallway toward them. The door flies open, and the king’s sarcophagus pounds into the room. It deflects all their attacks with its evil magic, until Nicola flings a cough drop at it. Then it turns and bounces away again, never to be seen again. Because nothing stops a coffin like Ricola.

I just have to make my peace with the fact that my brother is a better DM than I will ever be.

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valkyriespalkyries-deactivated2

THIS IS THE MOST EASTERN EUROPEAN THING I’VE SEEN IN MY LIFE

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2000ish

ruinedchildhood

stiekemekat

Kestrel taking a dust bath

lochnutmonster

movedto-nonbinarytyto-deactivat

I went through 275 pages of my video tag to find these vines among others

sapphirecutie1995-deactivated20

this is a portal to a better place

tortagnamgnam

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

unclebabie

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!