❝I was hoping you would have like a gnarly scar. Add character… And mystery.❞
❝You’re slutty, not easy. There’s a difference, semantically.❞
❝Oh I just want to put her in a bag of rocks and drop her in the river.❞
❝I’m all about giving. I’m like a bean-flicking Mother Teresa.❞
❝Seriously, enough clitorference.❞
❝If grateful paid the bills, we’d all be fuckin’ Bill Gates!❞
❝I spent a lot of time wondering if it would matter if I died.❞
❝Do not defend your boner to me right now!❞
❝This one got away, but I swear to you I will die before I see that happen again. I will keep you safe.❞
❝I’m feeling some sapphic vibes comin’ off you.❞
❝Why did you take us to a gay bath house?❞
❝You know I can promise you that I’ve never been saner than I am right now.❞
❝I have mastered the art of shutting people off.❞
❝I made her come vaginally. Do you even know how hard that is to do? My point is…I don’t even know what my point is anymore.❞
❝You live on a slippery slope, kid, but for some reason you keep doing rain dances. Good luck.❞
❝I think I’ve moved beyond stress to something more deeply disturbing.❞
❝I love you and I fucking hate you.❞
❝Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?❞
❝Lesbian request denied.❞
❝That’s what love is like it’s like coming home.❞
❝You got some fucked up priorities.❞
❝It’s not like I’m exactly overwhelmed with the possibilities.❞
❝You’re supposed to be my family.❞
❝I always miss you until you’re here.❞
❝Don’t you fucking leave me.❞
❝Were you trying to pimp me out?❞
❝You know, another layer of icing on a shit cake does not make it taste good.❞
❝Oh, so here’s the thing no.❞
❝Adventure is just hardship with an inflated sense of self.❞
❝No, this is divine retribution.❞
❝Do not project your conscience onto me.❞
❝I will fuck you. Literally.❞
❝You don’t just turn gay, you fall somewhere on a spectrum, like a Kinsey scale.❞
❝I would like to stress that I think this is truly fuckin’ stupid.❞
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