[akashicrecord]

Commenting "may this type of love never find me" under your high school classmates engagement photos

[animentality]

[alfgifu]

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

[lowpawly]

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

[robotfoot]

“Sometimes I wish I was a woman, just so I could have an abortion.”

— John Waters

[blemgoid]

I once sent a woman a text message so interesting that she took three whole days to read it

[papasmoke]

my newborn son has an ifunny birthmark

[deerchasingheadlights]

This just made me shed a tear. They want the breakfast menu I am so sensitive

[probuccalfat]

no but wait it irritates me a little when people ask like oh are you gonna keep dressing like this in your 30s or 40s as if there’s a time limit on expressing yourself thru clothes and accessories and style. yes bitch i’m gonna serve vampire all the way to the casket and frankly into the incinerator.

[achillesinhighheels]

unfortunately i do believe that every time i delay watching a film it’s because it’s going to find me at the perfect time

[brymeinblck]

all of the worst ppl i know are having kids and ppl still ask me, « so what about you ? ». it doesn’t matter if i would be a good parent or not, I don’t wish these peers upon my family

[stuckinapril]

(me ever since I was 12) okay I actually need to get it together now

[thesexiestselkie]

[00000066]

[cilantrhoes]

[dogpuppy]

[fairycosmos]

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

[dogpuppy]