Bethy Squires

is a writer/performer in Hollywood

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4 Cocktails to Batch for Your Holiday Party

These batched cocktails make holiday party hosting as easy as can be.

wrote up some cute lil cocktails for whatever solstice event you celebrate

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The prompt on this rug was a 8-bit desert scene, possibly with a UFO in the background.

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We are back with remote guests! We chat with the wonderful Bethy Squires of the new Sci-Fi novel The Ant Queen and The Bounty Hunter all about making stock and propagating plants, before delving into Money Baths, not going to therapy and discussing your quarantine self care! It's Good to Be Back! Follow Bethy on Twitter @BethyBSQU Get The Ant Queen and The Bounty Hunter here! We are adding past Patreon episodes to the main feed as we all get through this and are also unlocking our back catalogue for the foreseeable future. Check it out at Patreon.com/thispodcastisselfcare Follow us on Twitter | @ThisPodSelfCare Follow us on IG | @ThisPodcastIsSelfCare Follow Cait on Twitter | @CaitRaft Follow Drew on Twitter | @DrewSpurs

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The 7 Trendiest Asian Desserts in LA and Where to Find Them

One of the best things about LA is its trendy food scene, and Instagrammable sweets that feature in local Asian cuisine are a must when you're here. Our insider shares where to go when you visit the city.

All the best desserts are coming out of east Asia, and they’re coming to LA first. I wrote about what happens when burgeoning immigrant business meets appropriation-happy influencers.

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All 151 SNL Cast Members As Pokémon

The timing was right.

My life’s greatest accomplishment.

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"Half a Life" (w/ Bethy Squires) by Treks and the City with Alice Wetterlund and Veronica Osorio

Alice and Veronica are joined by Elisabeth Squires (Vulture) to enjoy S4E22 "Half a Life," and to consume all the star-related content they can find, visit the Post Malone planet to speak with Big Xan, and to die in the most upsetting ways they can think of!

I was on Treks and the City, and it was both a sweet dream and a beautiful nightmare. 

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Not Great w/ Bethy Squires by Bethy Squires on Apple Podcasts

Download past episodes or subscribe to future episodes of Not Great w/ Bethy Squires by Bethy Squires for free.

Episode 8 is here! I talk to Alyssa Merwin about Vanderpump, Game of Thrones, and being fake deep!

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Not Great w/ Bethy Squires by Bethy Squires on Apple Podcasts

Download past episodes or subscribe to future episodes of Not Great w/ Bethy Squires by Bethy Squires for free.

We’re finally on iTunes/Apple Podcasts/whatever! Please, come through, won’t you?

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w/ Melinda Kashner

Episode 2 is here! Melinda and I get deep into Hoosier Content, rating Krogers, and how to make bone broth out of discarded hot wings. It’s a must-listen. 

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w/ Steph McCann

Episode 1 of my podcast, NOT GREAT, is live! Steph and I talk about the Golden Globes, Winona’s commercial, Kirk Douglas doing the Black Dahlia murder(s) and of course, Bones. 

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The West Wing Revisited – Kheiro Magazine

Feeling nostalgic for a U.S. president — even a fictional one — that cared about his constituents, Kheiro is recapping The West Wing. An international online magazine covering liberal law, politics and society.

My West Wing recaps are nestled neatly together all on one page! Hide all your troubles in the past and let Martin Sheen make everything all better. 

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The West Wing revisited: When fiction Trumped reality TV

Feeling nostalgic for a U.S. president — even a fictional one — that cared about his constituents, Kheiro is recapping The West Wing each…

I am recapping The West Wing for Kheiro Magazine, hiding in the Bartlet administration during these Terrible Trump days. Join me!

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What MRA’s think will happen at the Women-Only Wonder Woman Screenings

We at the Alamo Drafthouse would like to officially apologize for our role in the end of mankind as we knew it, and the ascendant Gynocracy that followed. We didn’t know our women-only screening of Wonder Woman would result in the overthrow of all world governments and the total subjugation of men, but in hindsight we probably should have seen it coming.

“Why can’t women have one night to enjoy a character that’s meant so much to them over the years?” asked the Shadowy Figure. The woman came into our offices in a cloak as black as the grave, followed by three wild-looking dogs. Her voice had no age, or every age, it was hard to tell. Sometimes it sounded like more than one woman was talking. The Shadowy Figure made good points about Representation Mattering and Safe Spaces as she idly flicked raw flesh to her dogs. Around her swirled plumes of sickly sweet incense from a source unknown, but this is Austin, so we figured she was just keeping it weird. How naive we were.

 About halfway into the film, Gal Gadot put down her sword and shield and turned to the camera.

 “Who has hurt you?” she asked. “Who denied you, violated your person? Who has defiled your temple? Name them now.”

 A woman stood on the table in front of her, knocking over her Austin Beerworks Fire Eagle IPA. “Travis!” she yelled.

 “Tyler!” shoued another.

 Chris, Ryan, Brandon, Matt, Donald. Roman, Bill. The names fell from the women as they stood in their seats. Gal Gadot, superhumanly huge on screen, seemed to actually hear each name with a look of utter disgust on her face.

 “Man’s time is over,” she said. “They have done all that they will do, all they are capable of doing.” And then she grabbed Chris Pine by the hair and slit his throat with a big double-edged axe that we’re pretty sure was not in the comics but that’s Hollywood for you.

 “This is the labrys,” she told the audience as Chris Pine sputtered and choked on his own blood. “A symbol of woman’s power. It cuts away that which is false. It is a problem and a solution. Look under your seats.”

 Each woman pulled a similar double-edged axe from under her seat. We do not know where they came from. We did not put them there. The Alamo Drafthouse did not arm the first Amazon Death Squad. We want to make that perfectly clear.

 “Goddess who was wronged by Travis, what is your name?” asked the giant Gal Gadot, covered in Chris Pine’s blood.

 “Jessica!”

 “That name was given to you by your father. Claim your new name and be reborn an Amazon.”

 “DIANA!” she yelled.

 “WE ARE ALL DIANA,” the crowd echoed.

 “Go forth, Dianas. Cleanse Gaia of the Tylers and the Travises. Do what must me done.”

 Well, you all know what happened next. The Dianas all chopped off their right breasts, burned down the theatre, and stole a bunch of motorcycles. Everyone named Travis in the city of Austin was killed.

 The Dianas grew in number, emboldened by Teen Vogue thinkpieces. Since Last Man Standing had recently been cancelled, there was no one left to challenge their total cultural takeover, and now all cishet men have been jailed in the abandoned Curves Gyms and Carl’s Jr’s across the globe. Again, we at the Alamo Drafthouse regret this turn of events and the role we played in hastening the end of civilization. We were short sighted and didn’t realize that celebrating women for one night would have such dire consequences. Our bad.

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How Your Vagina Is Supposed to Smell | Broadly

We asked an expert what's considered "normal."

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Everything You Risk When Bleaching Your Anus | Broadly

As far as extreme aesthetic procedures go, anal bleaching—a favorite of porn stars and people who watch porn stars—is one of the least visible. It also just seems…really unsafe? We investigated.

I love this illustration so much.

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All the Cute, Coy Ways Republicans Could Block Obama's Nominee Merrick Garland | Broadly

Republicans in the Senate have clandestinely agreed to block Obama's nomination to the Supreme Court. But how will they manage to stall the decision until January, 2017? We have a few ideas.

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Why Farts Sometimes Get Trapped in Your Vagina | Broadly

Or, as one Redditor puts it, "Sometimes when I fart it rolls up through my labia. Is this normal?"