Eavesdrop
Bucky Barnes x reader
Synopsis: You have a thing for Bucky. Bucky has a thing for you. Only, when he overhears you talking about your little crush, he thinks it’s about someone else…
Tags/warnings: fluff, tooth-rotting fluff, sweet, cheesiness, miscommunication trope, love confession, bucky barnes is down bad and grumpy bc he thinks he can’t get what he wants. i just wanted to write something cute, okay?
WC: 5k
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To say you had a crush was a bit of an understatement. Every night you fell asleep thinking about him, what it would feel like to pass out in his arms instead of cuddling your pillow.
Every training session, your eyes would linger just that little bit longer on him while he did his weights, muscles bulging with every rep.
Each time Tony called a meeting or there was any sort of communal dinner taking place, you’d find the closest seat next to him, crack jokes and roll your eyes at him whenever someone droned on for too long about the details of their day or mission.
“You are so smitten!” Natasha smirked, teasing you as you flopped back onto your bed.
You cradled your cheeks in your hands, embarrassed at how transparent your feelings were to your best friend.
“Shut up” You replied.
You’d just finished a small recon mission in which you’d been paired with Bucky. Just you and him for six hours and no one else to bug you or interrupt your time together. Your dream.
It had gone well. You’d managed to get the information you needed all while continuing your usual banter you both shared, poking fun at Sam over comms who was trying to tell you information you both already knew.
At one point you’d almost been caught, however, and Bucky had decided to save your cover by wrapping his arm around your shoulder and leaning in close and telling you to laugh. The group of men looked away again, assuming you were just a couple out on a stroll in the park.
The sensation of his touch lasted on you even hours later, your face adorning a stupidly dorky smile as you walked down the hallway back to your room. Natasha was already waiting and knew exactly what had caused the spring in your step before you even said it.
“You need to talk to him” Natasha urged.
“I talk to him” You defended, feigning obliviousness to what she was really referring to.
“About your feelings” She clarified, raising her eyebrows knowingly.
You let out a low sigh, knowing you’d contemplated the idea plenty of times. You’d even got as far as knocking on his door to spill out your thoughts but the minute he flashed his warm smile at you, all the confidence left your body.
Bucky had come out his shell the past year. He no longer wore a scowl on his face permanently while he trailed around the tower, didn’t hide himself in his room whenever he wasn’t needed for missions. He smiled more, especially when you guys cracked jokes. You’d go out your way to tease him just to see it and brighten your day a little.
Of course, you weren’t the only one to notice the change in Bucky. One of the assistants had taken a liking to him as well. She would hand him his morning coffee first, even before Tony, she would offer her help for when he needed to note down his times doing laps. She had even fixed his tie before the last gala even though there was nothing wrong with it at all, she just wanted an excuse to be close to him. You suppose you didn’t blame her. You would do the same.
But, this now filled your head with doubts. The assistant was beautiful; shiny hair that swooshed whenever she walked, outfits that always perfectly hugged her figure. Then there was you with your combat gear that had seen better days and your hair that was in desperate need for some tlc. You couldn’t compare to all the women in the tower and outside it who had more time and care into their appearance.
You weren’t a slob by any means, but you were busy. You were saving lives and stopping the bad guys; important work that you were incredibly proud to be a part of. But, it didn’t stop you frowning at your reflection in the mirror every morning.
“He doesn’t see me that way” You told Natasha, a sentiment you’d repeated to her on many occasions.
Natasha simply raised her eyebrows like she knew better, that you were ridiculous for thinking otherwise.
Down the hall, Bucky had just finished a round of teasing from Sam about his chipper mood since returning from the mission you’d both been on. Bucky had been into you for a while and Sam constantly urged him to go ask you out before someone else did. Normally, Bucky would brush it off as usual and say that you were just good friends and he didn’t want to ruin that.
Except, today was different. Today he wanted to change that. He loved having you as a friend, trusting someone enough to confide in them about all his history and concerns and not be judged. He felt the tension on the mission, how the electricity surged through him when he wrapped his arm around you. He noticed your demeanour change, how you became flustered. For the first time since he’d grown close with you, he felt like he might actually have a chance.
So, here he was. He had marched down the hallway ready to finally man up and ask you out properly. As he approached your door, he heard your voice talking to someone and it stopped him in his tracks. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation, it just sort of happened.
“Ugh” You groaned “Why does he have to be so cute? Makes it so hard to function”
Your admission piqued his interest as he quietly shuffled closer to your door, making sure that you wouldn’t be able to see him lingering and listening in.
“You need to tell him before you like…internally implode or something” Nat joked.
“Oh yeah, sure, i’ll just walk right up and word vomit all my feelings to him”
Bucky’s heart quickened at your words. Were you talking about…him?
“That’s sort of how it works, yeah” Nat smirked.
“Okay, but he’s a super soldier, Nat” You reminded her “He has girls falling at his feet, all of whom are way prettier than me”
Bucky frowned at the last part of your sentence. To him, you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Your smile lit up a room, your energy radiating like the sun and….wait…did you just say he had girls falling at his feet?
Bucky definitely didn’t have that. He remembered specifically when he first arrived at the tower how they would all avoid him, eye him up uneasily from the other side of the room while whispering to their friend. He felt like some kind of monster, the kind you were supposed to hide away in a cellar somewhere out of sight.
“And when we’re out on missions, he’s just so…strong. He makes it all look so effortless” You hummed, mind travelling to all those instances that had your heart racing.
Bucky didn’t feel effortless. If anything, he felt like he forced everything he did to prove he wasn’t bad anymore, that he could do good with his strength; not harm.
Bucky’s face dropped as it finally clicked in his head who you were actually talking about.
Steve.
It had to be. He was a super soldier, well accustomed to women fawning over him and always giving his all to whatever mission or task he had. It was what he always admired about Steve, even before the serum; his sheer determination against all odds.
It didn’t surprise Bucky that you had a thing for Steve. That was his new normal. Women fluttered their eyelashes at Steve and not him, he got to call the shots when they were out the tower, had civilians look at him with awe out on the streets while he wiped out the unlawful.
Normally, Bucky wasn’t resentful of Steve. He understood why he was held in such high regard, and looked at him like he hung the stars as well. But this? You? It crushed him just a little.
You were special to him, you made him feel human again after feeling like a machine for so long. He’d been so excited to come talk to you and finally move past shared looks across the table and late night movie marathons. Now, he felt like his whole mood had come crashing down. Worst of all, he didn’t even blame you. He swallowed down his pride and emotions and walked back in the direction of his own room before you could say anything else to solidify his theory.
Back inside your room, you finally sat up and dragged your hands though your hair. Maybe, Natasha was right. Maybe, you should just go talk to him. She encouraged you one last time before heading out your door, leaving you to ruminate in your thoughts.
————-
The social area was quiet, like it so often was at this time of night. It was your favourite time to come in and unwind without all the usual hustle and bustle of bodies coming in and out. You also knew that it was Bucky’s usual time to saunter through without anyone to bother him.
Awaiting his appearance, you grabbed a tub of ice cream from the freezer and settled down on the couch. Fingers curled round the remote, you flicked through the options of viewing which seemed lacklustre at best. Finally, you found a rerun of a movie you’d seen not that long ago but you knew Bucky would probably find it entertaining so you let it play as you dug into the chocolate flavoured treat in your hands.
As the minutes passed by and the hands on the clock moved around the numbers, you felt your eyebrows furrow knowing it was getting later than usual for Bucky to turn up. You knew he didn’t have any missions that would mean he wasn’t here because you’d been there with him earlier in the day and Tony said there wouldn’t be any more for a few days.
You begun to worry that something was wrong, that maybe he was having one of his nightmares or panic attacks that would still occasionally plague him. Deciding to go make sure he was okay, you carefully out the tub of ice cream back into the freezer and padded your way down to his room, quickly wiping at your mouth to make sure you had no embarrassing leftovers hanging in the corner of your mouth.
As if he could anticipate your turning up, his door opened before you even had a chance to knock. His headphones were already plugged into his ear and he had on his workout clothes. It wasn’t the first time that he would opt for a late night gym session, though he usually opted to spend time with you instead these days.
“Hi” You smiled, capturing his attention.
“Oh, hey” He replied, surprise written on his face as you stood there expectantly.
“You not joining for a movie?” You asked, trying to mask your disappointment.
Bucky closed the door behind him as he awkwardly cleared his throat, eyes averting yours despite him being fine this morning. You tried to think back if you’d done anything on the mission to make him uncomfortable but you came up empty.
“Think i’m gonna pass and fit in some gym time instead” He replied “Got some big missions coming up, you know”
“Oh, okay” You said, sad that you’d miss out on your usual routine.
You felt like he was hiding something from you, that something was playing on his mind but you didn’t get the chance to question him on it as he hastily made his way down to the training rooms, headphones already blasting music that would drown you out.
Deflated, you trailed to your room and tried to rationalise that you’d spent a lot of time together today and sometimes people, especially Bucky, needed their alone time occasionally and it wasn’t personal. Even if it felt like it.
—————
Over the next few days, Bucky was still the same and you were starting to find it difficult to not take it to heart when you seen him interact with the others just fine. Last night, you hadn’t even bothered to go to the social area, you stayed in your room in the hopes he might notice your absence and come find you, but it never came.
Tonight, your main objective was to distract yourself from your thoughts about Bucky before it drove you crazy. Tony was hosting one of his extravagant parties, champagne flowing and music blaring from speakers as the room was filled with notable figures from all around the city.
“Don’t tell me i’m going to have to babysit you tonight” Natasha smirked with a knowing look as she pulled up beside you to grab herself a drink from the bar.
“What are you talking about?” You asked, shrugging nonchalantly as you finished the contents of your glass, handing it to a bartender while asking for a refill.
Natasha merely gestured between you and the fresh alcohol in your hands with her eyes. She was all too versed in how easily you could get sloppy drink after too many glasses of wine, especially if you were using it as a distraction.
“You’re drinking your feelings instead of talking to him” She said in a lower tone.
Even if she was right, you didn’t want to admit it. It was embarrassing enough that he was actively avoiding you, having to confront him about it would be even more humiliating.
“He’s not even here so….” You trailed, taking another large sip.
You’d looked for him when you’d arrived, naturally. Despite your plan of distracting your mind from him for the evening, old habits die hard and you found your eye scanning the room looking for him in every corner where he usually liked to lurk.
The night continued on, and you moved around the room with newfound confidence thanks to the liquid courage in your hands. You joked with Thor, danced with Yelena, and challenged your own best friend to an arm wrestle. You lost hard, of course, but with how light and free the wine was making you feel, you didn’t even mind.
“You’re having fun” Steve smiled, noting your more outgoing personality for the evening.
“It’s a party, right?” You replied, scooting up on the couch to sit beside him instead of having to shout over the music.
“Right” He replied “Just…usually you and Bucky hide away in a corner and make sarcastic comments”
The smile that had been plastered on your face faltered ever so slightly at the mention of Bucky after so many hours of successfully managing to push him out of your head.
“Usually…yeah” You agreed, taking the last gulp of your wine.
You set the glass back down onto a table and Steve noted the sad look on your face, as if he’d brought up a touchy subject.
“What’s going on with you two?” He asked, voice lower so people around you both didn’t eavesdrop.
“Nothing” You said, all too quickly “Nothing’s going on between us”
Steve had noticed his friend’s change in mood over the week, how he would sit more slumped in the meeting room and kept their conversations minimal in training. Bucky was never a chatterbox by any means, but Steve could tell something was bothering him, and judging by your change of attitude towards partying tonight, he was beginning to consider it was connected.
“He isn’t really talking to me this week” You admitted “I don’t know if I did something wrong”
Steve recognised the deflation on your face. He wore it too when Bucky had first arrived at the tower and he rejected all of Steve’s invitations to socialise with the others.
“Sometimes he just gets in his head” Steve shrugged “I wouldn’t take it personally”
Normally, you’d agree. You knew Bucky like the back of your hand, how his demeanour would change when he got in those moods. He always had time for you, though. No matter what or who had bothered him, he sought your company to distract his mind and make him feel better. So why wasn’t that the solution this time?
“Hard not to” You sighed, holding your chin in your palm.
The party was only growing rowdier as the alcohol started to really kick in. You should be the same, you should still be out dancing and trying to convince yourself you’re having the time of your life and yet, here you are, fixated on why Bucky wasn’t talking to you.
“You like him” Steve noted, eyebrows raised slightly and looking at you as if he was assessing something.
You felt your heart quicken at his words. Were you really that transparent? Was that why Bucky was avoiding you? Maybe he knew about your feelings and he didn’t feel the same and now he was scared to talk to you and break your heart over not reciprocating.
“I-uh…he’s a good friend, yeah” You stuttered, trying desperately to save face.
“You know what I mean” Steve smirked, arching one eyebrow knowingly.
You felt your cheeks heat up, going even more red than from the alcohol you’d made your way through for the past few hours.
“Is it that obvious?” You asked, feeling embarrassed at who else probably knew of your crush.
“Nat might have let something slip” He informed “But, I did have my suspicions”
“I’m going to kill her” You joked, knowing sooner or later your best friend would pull something like this to stop you gushing to her and not do anything.
“After your failed arm wrestle, i’d maybe put that idea on hold” Steve teased.
You rolled your eyes, knowing even in your most soundest mind that you’d never be able to take on Natasha in a fight. Sure, you were good, but she was a whole other level.
“Do you think that maybe he’d like me back?” You asked after a beat, voice quiet as if you were scared to voice the question.
Steve picked up on your nerves. He didn’t blame you, when it came to Bucky, he wasn’t exactly the most open with his feelings.
“I think the best thing is to just talk to him” Steve suggested.
“Easier said than done” You laughed, remembering how much he’d been avoiding you this week.
You talked to Steve for a little while longer before he got roped into a challenge with Thor on if he could get the hammer to move. Calling it a night, you said your goodnights and slipped out of the party and welcomed the more peaceful hallway where you could actually hear yourself think.
The alcohol had mostly worn off by now, though you were sure that the others would remind you of your shenanigans in the morning when you slept it off and forgot all about your dancing.
Just as you reached the end of the hallway where your room was, you felt your breath hitch as you realise who was walking the other way. He had a bottle of water in his hand that he must have grabbed from the kitchen and had planned on sneaking back to his room without anyone noticing.
“Bucky” You said, not wanting him to walk past you and say nothing.
“Leaving the party already?” He asked, his voice hiding an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher in this moment.
That’s when you noticed his outfit. He wasn’t wearing his usual relaxed gym clothes or henley like he’d normally lounge in around the tower. He was dressed up, or as much as Bucky did, anyway. He had on that nice black shirt that made his muscles look extra defined.
“I didn’t see you in there” You hummed, wondering if you’d just missed him hiding away somewhere.
“I didn’t stay for long” He replied “Guess I’m not in the mood tonight”
In reality, Bucky had been quite up for the party. He’d been in his head for days about you and decided today was going to be the day he finally just came clean to you. After all, he was just going off assumption when he eavesdropped by your room earlier in the week, maybe he’d heard wrong.
However, as he entered the party, his eyes locked on you….and on Steve sitting beside you smiling and teasing. All the confidence he’d rebuilt over the week came crashing down again and he was back to square one on being second fiddle to his best friend.
He didn’t blame either of you, it made sense. You looked stunning as ever in a classic sleek black dress that sat on you so perfect it was as if it was custom built instead of off the rack. Steve carried his usual confidence as he sat back on the couch, arms rested out behind him as if he owned the room.
Bucky couldn’t stand to watch any more so he made a 180 turn and headed right back out the door he’d barely even entered from.
“You’re never in the mood” You joked “But we find ways to make it fun”
You usually hated parties too. There was too many people, too much schmoozing. You felt like you were performing, almost. Tonight was an exception, the alcohol had allowed you to have a bit of fun without overthinking every word or action. Still, you missed your usual banter with Bucky in the corner.
“Yeah, well, you seemed a little preoccupied” He shrugged, a small tight lipped smile on his lips.
The muffled sound of the music echoed through the halls, mildly covering the awkward energy in the air that fell between you two.
“You seem off this week” You explained “Did I do something?”
You watched as Bucky’s face winced briefly before letting out a sigh and shaking his head. You could always tell when he was lying, he was never good at it.
“No, you’re good” He replied “I just uh….have a lot on my plate this week”
The sad look on his face made you worried, made you concerned that he was keeping something from you. Recently, his nightmares had mostly disappeared and he’d been doing better, but as you noticed his dark circles, you wondered if they’d started plaguing him again.
“Talk to me about it” You prompted.
“I…can’t” He said, face looking pained “I can’t talk to you about it”
The sound of the party grew louder as a few people trickled out, laughter and drunken stumbles following them. You glanced at Bucky and recognised how his body tensed up, how he was ready to dart away any second. Before he had the chance, you gently grabbed his arm and pulled him into your room before he had the chance to protest.
You closed the door behind you, resting against it so he couldn’t make a quick escape. Bucky seemed uncomfortable, eyes darting around your space like he shouldn’t be here, like he wasn’t allowed to look at anything too long.
“Bucky, please talk to me” You said gently “You’re making me worried”
You knew you shouldn’t force it on him, that it was better to leave Bucky to be alone with his thoughts rather than force them out of him. Steve always told you that he would get like this sometimes and it was better to let it run its course, but you hated seeing him look so sad.
“You don’t need to be worried” He reassured.
“I just want to help” You urged.
“You can’t” He sighed, eyes cast down.
“Let me try” You insisted.
“I told you, you can’t” He said, taking a deep inhale.
“But why? You haven’t even let me try-“
“Because it’s about you!” He blurted, frustration getting the better of him.
Your mouth quickly closed shut, eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him while he did everything to avoid your gaze. You knew that something had been wrong, that it definitely wasn’t in your head that he’d been avoiding you.
“So… I did do something?” You asked after a beat, voice quiet and unsure as you mentally retraced your week.
“No, you didn’t do anything, it’s just-”
“Clearly, I did! You don’t even want to talk to me” You huffed, emotions getting heightened.
Bucky took another deep breath, a curt laugh falling from his mouth as he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
“You’re really going to make me say it, huh?” He sighed.
You didn’t reply, you simply continued to look at him waiting for some sort of answer and why he was being purposely vague.
“I…I like you” He started “And I have for a while, as more than a friend”
Your breath hitched at the confession, chest tight as you considered the possibility you’d misheard from all the alcohol that was now clouding your head.
“I was actually on my way to tell you that, earlier this week after our mission together” He explained “I heard you and Nat talking when I got to your room and….and I know I shouldn’t have, but I eavesdropped a little and I heard what you said about him”
“About who?” You asked, confused.
“About Steve” He answered.
Steve? You questioned. You tried to rack your mind back to that conversation, but you failed to remember any point in which you brought up Steve.
“About how you like him and how he’s so cute it makes it hard to function?” He said, trying to jog your memory “And I seen you both at the party talking away, looking cosy”
Your brain finally clicked as to what was happening and your face relaxed, a small smile crept onto your lips as you realised the misinterpretation of the situation.
“Bucky” You said, trying to pull him out his ramble to explain.
“I don’t need your pity, alright?” He sighed “I can handle rejection, and I understand, okay? Steve’s a great guy and-”
“I don’t like Steve” You interrupted.
Bucky stopped in his tracks, looking up at you finally as he was now the one who was confused.
“I mean, yeah, he’s a great guy and a good friend, but I don’t like him like that” You explained.
Now, Bucky was seriously starting to spiral as he thought about who else you could possibly be talking about. His mind jumped to Walker. Dear god, he prayed it wasn’t Walker.
“I like you” You said with a gentle smile “You’re who I was talking about”
Bucky felt his heart race but he tried no to get too ahead of himself. It still didn’t make sense, the way you described him didn’t fit at all.
“But, you said he-I had girls falling at my feet” He replied “I don’t have that at all, I don’t understand”
You threw him a puzzled look with your head titled to the side. Did he really not see the effect he had on other people? How you’d seen a receptionist just about trip over herself to be the one to hand him a letter that had come in.
“Yes, you do” You laughed “Alice follows you around like a puppy because she’s so into you”
“Alice?” He questioned “The assistant, Alice?”
You nodded your head, baffled at how he hadn’t noticed her constantly trying to spend as much time with him as possible even though she was supposed to be busy with tasks on the other side of the building.
“I never noticed” He admitted, now wondering what else he was totally oblivious to.
Silence fell but this time, it didn’t feel uncomfortable. It felt exciting, like something was about to finally happen and all those feelings you’d both kept hidden were now out in the open.
“So, you like me” Bucky stated, making sense of it “And….I like you”
“Correct” You nodded.
“And i’ve been walking around like there’s gum stuck on my shoe because I thought you liked Steve, and you thought I was interested in other girls” Bucky added.
“Also correct” You replied.
For the first time tonight, you seen a genuine smile stretch across his face as he locked eyes with you. He no longer looked sad or tense, he looked….hopeful.
“I guess we’re both not very good at this then” He joked.
“I guess not” You laughed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“So, I suppose this is the part where I ask you out properly” He said, feeling a little rusty after all these years and cursing how effortlessly smooth he used to feel talking to girls when he was younger.
“Yeah, or you could kiss me” You shrugged, feeling a little bold “Either works”
You could see this short-circuited him slightly, a flush of red painted on his cheeks as he let out a nervous laugh from being flustered at your forwardness.
“I want to do this proper” He nodded firmly “I was raised a gentleman and I want to take you out first”
“That’s fine with me, Sarge” You teased, feeling your own cheeks blush.
In this moment, you both felt smitten. All the worries and jealousy you’d both wallowed in had completely vanished as you tried to hold back a giant grin from how happy you felt.
“How does dinner tomorrow night sound?” He asked “Seven o’clock?”
“Sounds perfect” You nodded, excitement already kicking in.
“Great” He smiled “Well, it’s late, so i’ll let you get some shut eye”
You could tell he still wasn’t used to this, to being openly interested and flirting, but you thought it was cute.
“Goodnight, Bucky” You replied.
His hand reached for the handle, opening the door but pausing as he looked back at you almost hesitantly before stepping close and softly pressing his lips against your forehead, so light it felt like a feather.
“Those ones are allowed, though” He smirked “Sweet dreams”
