Spank Bank Daily @bullspanker - Tumblr Blog

So tumblr is making a comeback is this true?

The greatest prison is the prison of the mind. The warden is relentless 😔.

I know I just be burdening folks when I try and bring my problems up.

Biggest problem with having Manic Depression is that when you are in a justifiable bad mood those around you just assume that your just “in a Down mood” and ultimately ignore you

The real question is how are you supposed to find confidence in yourself

The ultimate answer is ima just smoke the pain away. I clearly don’t actually have a problem I just need to find a way to have confidence in myself.

I completely have no idea how to have confidence in myself or how to find it. I’ve been trying for the past two months now to try and figure out what activities make me feel good about myself, but my list is still empty. I think this is might be connected to some daddy issues? I don’t have a person I can just talk to and I feel better from talking about my issues. I talk about the stuff and the ppl I talk to usually just have blank faces or random feel good statements for me

I’m afraid that I have already experienced the important years of my life. Well to be specific I feel as if the time of my life where I had potential to be great I wasted being at Central State. I put all my time effort and energy into what I thought was gonna be my future where in reality I was in a place where they only want to benefit from your success and not remotely help you get there.

Now I’m a man thst everyone says is an awesome musician but no one who says that can name anything impressive that I have done musically.

I get told I’m a good teacher but the bands I have taught were trash.

I get told I’m gonna be great, but i don’t actually do anything worth talking about, and when I reveal my projects the same ppl who keep telling me I’m good are the ones who tell me my work is UNimpressive smh. Now I’m hoping I get married and don’t become a hopeless bum cause I gradually lose my infinite sense of hope every day thst passes. I should have never went to CSU it did nothing but make me believe in false lies about myself

I create multiple worlds in my heads. There are hundreds of characters with full backstories but no one will really ever know anything about them because I suck at writing stories so they’ll just be my drunken old man ramblings

I usually settle for hand me downs or I just grab a broken piece of tech from a friend and fix it but today I decided to splurge and buy myself for the first time @30 years old a gaming laptop. I’m proud of myself and am choosing to not allow my depressed side turn it negative

I’m afraid to be any form of content creator because I do not truly feel connected to any community. I don’t have any life goals outside of wanting to be happy nor do I have a vision for how I want my life to look in any amount of years. I honestly didn’t think I would love this long nor do I think I’m going to live long enough to see the fruit of any of my labor

I’m trying to be motivated but I just don’t have it in me. I want to make music but it’s hard to do on the days i don’t feel confident. Which is 87% of the time 😕

I am so acccustomed to my work being put down that when someone pays me a compliment I feel that I must immediately insult myself. I feel this way because I feel that every compliment I get is a pity compliment. I feel that I get complimented because the ppl giving the compliments are good people.

I think I’m going to start using tumble for its original purpose of posting my inner thoughts I blog form. It’s not like anyone reads these anyway so I’ll put my deep thoughts on this private public internet source

Man it’s been forever since I used this app I guess that means I’m team perv

Is anyone actually using this app or are you all bots?!