Compromise
Here’s what’s interesting to me about the backlash to Phryne not being monogamous with Jack. In order for them to be together, one of them has to compromise something.
1 - Phryne could compromise and be monogamous with Jack
2 - Jack could compromise and accept not being Phryne’s only sexual partner
Almost all fanfics (including mine) are about or assume compromise #1. A fic where Jack makes the compromise? Ohhhhhh! “Controversy”!
Our fandom wants Phryne to be the one to compromise here. And I get it, and I include myself in that. Monogamy is what we/society consider “normal.” Monogamy is what we consider to be the correct expression of true love. (Is it possible that there’s also an element of sexism here? That we want the woman to be the one to compromise? Maybe? But I’m almost positive that if the roles were reversed, we would want the man to give up his philanderin’ ways and show his true love by being monogamous with the woman. So sexism could have nothing whatsoever to do with it. Still, it’s worth thinking about.)
So we have these two characters. Neither wants to change the other. They seem to be at an impasse. Then Jack - Jack! - makes the “romantic overture,” implying that Jack is the one who’s examined his wants and needs and decided that he can move forward, presumably without expecting to change Phryne. Regardless of what they might decide in terms of their relationship, Jack’s romantic overture is his offer of compromise #2.
Most of our fics are about compromise #1 because that’s what makes us warm and fuzzy (and, again, I include myself here) - but maybe we’re in denial that compromise #2 is the more realistic possibility.
I have fics, and so do others, that use a handy fix where Jack doesn’t ask for monogamy, and Phryne just wants/chooses to be with Jack only. It’s an attractive combination of freedom and no compromise and a “traditional” relationship. Monogamist that I am, this is my personal favorite romantic vision for our two dummy-heads. ;-)
Also, when you have a fandom built around a kick-ass female character, you tend to have a pretty awesome fandom, so yeah.
I think this is hard, because I think there are good arguments that Phryne chooses “monogamy with Jack” before s3 even starts. And my reading of the characters leads me to conclude that “Open but rarely if ever exercised” is the most likely outcome with these characters–not out of some “Jack has a magical dick that makes me crave no others” (though he might, if fic is to be believe) but because (amongst other reasons) Phryne is actually rather lazy about her pursuits; many of her flings are the side effect of an adrenaline rush from OTHER adventures and Jack’s going to be around–so that is what I tend to write.
(Well, really, I’ve written everything from “Jack needs monogamy” at the end of A Glass Splinter–though in my head that’s a temporary need–to ”Phryne wants to promise monogamy but can’t bring herself to” to “open and–as far as has been posted–not used.” to “very lightly implied that Phryne is giving Jack a push to explore his own desires outside the relationship.” but that’s my default status on them. I really do need to get around to the ‘Phryne exercises that choice’ option, but… eh, I’m lazy. And hate creating OCs. And the one pestering me most is a Squirrel-universe related drabble and I’m trying not to write that for a bit. )
That said, THIS IS FIC. We are not restricted to what is the absolute likeliest outcome, and thank heaven for that. GIVE ME THE FUNCTIONAL OPEN RELATIONSHIPS. GIVE ME MONOGAMY. GIVE ME PHRACK WITH LONG-TERM LOVERS OR ONE-OFF FLINGS. GIVE ME IT ALL. Except cheating. Nobody wants cheating.
(Also @edeainfj I need more of that fic. Like, immediately. And it’s alllllll about me. :P Also, excellent post. I really should write responses like this elsewhere first, because immediately after posting I went “Actually, that comes off way different than I intended.” Stream-of-consciousness thoughts are never a good idea.)
Oh @firesign23 never change! :-) @edeainfj I am so glad you poked the nest with your fic and that the conversation is opening up here. Those of us who write transformative works like to sink our teeth into what’s possible. Even exploring things we may not in our daily lives. And yes, it amuses me to no end that there are people unwilling to entertain that option #2 is even possible. We all bring to these characters are own personal value systems and cultural world view. And yes, our ideas on relationships. The globalization of the Phandom and diverse perspectives is one of the things I have loved this past year. Sure, I love these two infuriating, burned-by-love, seen-some-shit, independent adults trying to carve out a romantic relationship together in the 20’s. Although honestly, I think they would have challenges resolving their relationship philosophies in 2016 as well. But part of the fun is exploring how it could work, whether it would fail spectacularly, and every variation in between. These are rich, wonderful characters and it is awesome to play with all the possibilities. And I love well -written stories that challenge me to think. High-five @edeainfj, for doing just that!
—- Dear Wonderful Writers, I love ALL of it– monogamous Phrack, wandering Phryne, a Jack who needs something more stable, a J and P who need something more adventurous and like to go off in many other directions. I agree with @firesign23 who said that Phryne wouldn’t “cheat” because she would be honest anything that she ever does. Most importantly, I really love and value ALL of your hard work and creativity. It is Fiction. Period. Have at it and enjoy. I’m really enjoying it too. If my reviews have EVER been misconstrued or hurt you in any way, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Please know that it was never my intent. I love and appreciate each and every one of you more than you will ever know. I’ve been quiet of late, just because I have. I will come out when I feel comfortable that I have time to devote to it again. Please know that I’m reading, and if I could offer multiple hugs and kudos, I would be doing it. If it were up to me, you would all be published. So would some other writers in some other fandoms who write some fabulous work as well. Love to all of you from an extremely loyal reader
I think I've missed a bunch of these fics because I've been at a conference with dodgy wifi and generally busy. Anyway @edeainfj and all the wonderful writers please keep writing all kinds of relationship alternatives... And even some that aren't about sexual/romantic relationships at all. I love your creativity and writing skills and imaginations. You're all great!








