Buffy the Vampire Slayer β 2.19: I Only Have Eyes for You
Xuebing Du
Monterey Bay Aquarium

if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document
Three Goblin Art
AnasAbdin

#extradirty
DEAR READER
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
cherry valley forever
sheepfilms
πͺΌ
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
hello vonnie
No title available
Not today Justin
KIROKAZE

izzy's playlists!
Cosmic Funnies
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

seen from Singapore

seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from Japan

seen from Netherlands
seen from Brazil
seen from Pakistan

seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
@jumblemama
Buffy the Vampire Slayer β 2.19: I Only Have Eyes for You
This is so
Unnecessary
how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour
βWhat could the audio possibly be?β
*unmutes*
βOh,β
If I ever donβt laugh at this, assume I died.
When you put on the last clean bra which happens to have a few extra straps and rationalise it as fine because it is under a high neckline, then you drop breakfast on your dress so change into a different one and you donβt really think about the combo.
Then you wonder why the guys who came to switch the windows were even more helpful than usual and the guy who was reading the water meter wanted to stop and chat.
Facepalm.
In other news I had my neighbour (F, my age) proposition me. Well, offered to top me, to be precise. I guess that would pass the bechdel test.
I need feminism because my counselling sessions donβt pass the bechdel test.
Yet.
Things about parenting
Feeling sad for my kids who are graduating grade 8 (going to high school in Sept) and their dad is away so missing the ceremony.
I ordered $500 of suits from H&M that will hopefully have them attired appropriately.
Mouse did some good self advocacy today. Heβs been fidgeting and noise making a lot which has left me frustrated. Iβve asked him to stop when Iβm speaking to him, and been using language that made him feel broken. He told me so, and asked me to stop. So I apologised and am using different words.
This morning we started to get into the details of our European trip this summer. Fly into Rome, hit Salerno, Florence, Turin, and then over to my brotherβs place near Bordeaux before a night in Paris and on to England. Should be fun.
Last Sunday I turned 48 and had some lovely omens and kindnesses then ran away to a tent in the woods.
Iβm having some real not-joy around this particular birthday. I think itβs moving from my mid-40s to my late 40s. I remember the same for 28 &38.
However, whatever feelings I have about it, it still happened and I had a lovely time in the woodland tent. I also felt very loved by friends who helped me to feel seen & appreciated in various lovely and low key ways. I was given a copy of βthe correspondentβ which I got into and am loving.
Posting privileges returned! Woo!
locked in? no. i'm tucked in. goodnight
MEN DO NOT LISTEN
Female home owners report feeling stuck between menβs contradictory expectations β they are told to be independent, but not assume the bread
It wasnβt Tonyaβs first time managing the discomfort her achievements elicited in prospective partners. She had already learned to downplay her successes as a professional woman working in the sciences. βAs soon as I tell people Iβm a scientist, they shut down or they start talking about what theyβre doing.β
But she had hoped things might play out differently after being set up with someone through a mutual acquaintance. βHe was mature. He was in his late 40s, so in a position where there wasnβt time to just play around. I felt he was someone I could talk to.β
When he arrived at her condo to visit, things unfolded in a painfully familiar way. βIt was a nice building and I think that really threw him off,β she recalled. βHe was like, βOh, the rent must be crazy here.β And I was like, βNo I actually own it. I thought I told you that.β The energy shifted immediately.
βI could feel his male ego kicking in, like, βI can provide too,ββ Tonya remembered. She tried to reassure him, clarifying that she did not expect a man to take care of her and that she wanted to build something together. But things only escalated from there. βHe was just being volatile and angry over mild things,β she said. When she voiced her opinion, he would call her needy or ask her point blank: βDo you want to be the husband in the relationship now?β
For women caught in between these contradictory claims β labeled both too independent and not independent enough β heterosexual dating and relationships can start to feel futile.
βThe options are small to begin with, so they tell you to be open minded,β said Tonya, citing popular red-pill claims that women are only interested in hypergamy, or βdating upβ. βBut then the men donβt take that very well,β she said, referring to her experiences dating men with comparatively fewer financial resources. βThey view it as you trying to emasculate them, even when you specifically say, βNo, thatβs not what Iβm trying to do.ββ
For men, however, womenβs home ownership may be signaling something else entirely.
βMy research suggests men can experience more psychological distress when they feel they are deviating from the breadwinner role,β said Dr Joanna Syrda, an economist whose 2019 paper found that menβs stress levels rise when their wives earn more than 40% of the household income. βSo the issue may be less home ownership itself than what it symbolizes,β she added.
Men in couples where women earned more money at the start of the marriage did not report heightened levels of stress. This means βthese responses are unlikely to be universal [β¦] some men are quite comfortable with a higher-earning or more financially established female partner when this is known from the outsetβ, she said.
Yet in Tonya and Tiffanyβs stories, the revelation came early on. I asked Dr Y Joel Wong, a counseling psychology professor at Indiana University who studies the psychology of men and masculinities, what might be driving menβs responses to single womenβs growing independence.
One core feature of masculinities that can lead to problems βis a fear or avoidance of femininityβ, he said. Some research has found that men feel an urge to restore their manhood when they feel they may be identified with stereotypical femininity: βSo if women are more successful economically, then itβs almost like, βI have lost a little bit of my manhood.ββ
A growing body of data shows that men engage in higher rates of infidelity and emotional and physical abuse when outpaced by female partners in traditional markers of wealth and status such as income.
From the same article:
'βItβs interesting because the same gender group thatβs constantly complaining about how women are gold diggers who exploit them for labor and money β¦ It turns out even they [men] canβt think of what they bring to the table other than money,β she observed.'
does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it
we've got a life to love living.
Other than the humans?
If I ever end up in a coma, will one of y'all come and wax/shave my inevitable mustache? & pluck my chin hairs?
Bonus day - Tuesday
Returned the rental car, and got mine back. New back windscreen seems fine & good and they also cleaned out the glass from the back.
If we had driven all the way home yesterday, as planned, weβd have headed back via Temiskaming Shores, on the Quebec border. But that will have to wait for the next time!
Today was (just) 5 1/2h travel time inc a few short breaks.
The backyard trees are getting their blooming glory out to welcome us back.
It was like driving through the seasons.
Bear was asleep by 9:20, Mouse by 9:45. Both appreciated their own beds with clean sheets and lots of space. They each have their own doubles here, and theyβve been sharing one while we were away.
I am absolutely wiped. It has truly been a great trip, and it has been absolutely full on barely a moment to myself since Friday. They could tune out in the car, but I was driving in unfamiliar places (and an unfamiliar car for most of it). It was worth every second of effort - truly - we had so many really fun and memorable experiences. But yeah Iβm ready to drop.