where my nose wiggles

// art blog // a burrow covered in thoughts that cannot be spoken elsewhere. a nest made of shredded letters and ripped photographs. this place is for me, but you can make it ours if you're brave enough. 26 // single bunny boy // mdni // dms open

[bunnyunderthebed]

can you hear me, so far away? can you hear my whines, dressed as dreams? can you hear how desperate i am to hear you, just for a little while?

maybe it's my fault, i'm making it hard for you, aren't i? everyone else here is so easy to play with, so eager to approach and do little tricks for you, you can't help yourself. i'm obtuse by comparison, communicating in poetry and idiosyncrasies. from your perspective it must seem like i'm all bark and no bite, but i'd rather go hoarse than suffer the indignity of humping your leg in public.

there it is, the face you make when i say something that reveals how truly fragile the paranoia makes me. don't act like you're shocked when i tell you i've made my peace with it, isn't that what you like about me? that i care about things nobody else does? that i don't settle for facsimiles? that i kept my passion pure and my expression unsullied? that i hold myself to a higher standard, even if you won't?

i dream of you in ways they couldn't imagine, your voice haunts my ears in ways you wouldn't believe. this forest offers no remedies, only painkillers; little pills pressed with words i've never heard, laced with empty promises. empty for me, anyway, i'm sure they carry weight in the hands of others. maybe that's why you don't give them to me: you can tell from a distance that it wouldn't be enough.

[wetheurban]

A calming truth: Not everything you planted this month was meant to bloom this month. Keep going. Trust your process.

[bunnyunderthebed]

an entire bed excavated. every single failure hurled into the fire pit. not a drop of mercy.

we had a whole chart. a plan for how every bloom would be used. i burned that too.

calm is for invertebrates. i have no love for what refuses to love me. my own works included.

[jazzybot4]

You're the one that brought gasoline and matches to bear.

I didn't know that there was some sort of countdown until you started setting fires in the living room instead of the firepit.

[bunnyunderthebed]

fireman, confused

investigation, cut short

arson, audienced

[bunnyunderthebed]

stuffed rabbit, alone

two way street has a toll now

i've been keeping score

[jazzybot4]

Funny way to say

you quantified loyalty

and priced me out

[bunnyunderthebed]

eros, felt through text

basal desire for more

all things have a price

[bunnyunderthebed]

stuffed rabbit, alone

two way street has a toll now

i've been keeping score

[ropepup]

"getting passed around like a blunt" free use fantasies but for sub tops; getting shared like a rabbit in 2000 … "this thing will make you come _so_ hard, just hold the leash where you want it and use the clicker when it's doing what you like"

[bunnyunderthebed]

burrow, well rooted

spend my days at market

hedgehog's dilemma.

[wetheurban]

A calming truth: Not everything you planted this month was meant to bloom this month. Keep going. Trust your process.

[bunnyunderthebed]

an entire bed excavated. every single failure hurled into the fire pit. not a drop of mercy.

we had a whole chart. a plan for how every bloom would be used. i burned that too.

calm is for invertebrates. i have no love for what refuses to love me. my own works included.

[bunnyunderthebed]

wrap the hollow in my chest, a box full of regret and resentment. pick some shiny paper and fancy ribbons, so the eye might forget to check. hand it off quickly, to not arouse the rabbit.

fuck me into the mattress. fill me with something worth feeling and then beat it all out of me in the morning.

pawn my heart off to the rot beneath the floor, an endless pit of needs and wants. spit-shine all four chambers, so they don't notice i'm worthless. don't forget to forget to buy me back.

whore me out properly. parade me around the house for all my shames to use and then punish me for not making you enough money.

[bunnyunderthebed]

painkiller.

who in their right mind would want that? a little thing you take to stop feeling. numbness that eases bodies and wounds the mind. cutting off sensations like they were burdens.

no, darling. i want to feel.

itching on my skin after you scratch it raw. soreness in my legs after you run me ragged. impression around my throat after you grip it tight. i want to feel all of it.

press me a painmaker, love.

a little thing to take when i feel empty. sensations i can call on in your absence, better than smoke and drink. just what i need to keep me from crying.

[plasticpunkhypno]

The mind is malleable, you know that better than anyone.

You learned a long time ago how much easier life could be with a bit more flexibility.

Bending reality to your whims, self-conception contorting to your convenience.

You became a skilled sculptor of your own perception, and perception is everything.

Why accept anything that makes you unhappy when you know it can be so easily changed?

Of course maintaining such moldability is not without consequence.

Clay so soft and workable, still warm from your own hands, conforms just as easily to Mine.

It won't take much, you've already done so much of the work for Me.

Just a few gentle nudges in the right direction, and before you know it those well trained hands of yours will just be further instruments of My will.

[kyraltre]

So... About the fanfiction.lol site that is being shared... I am someone that has a little web dev experience, have done several coding projects and am an IT professional. I did a minor investigation on this and here are my thoughts:

So what this is is a guy who I guess does front end dev work (think make websites pretty and maybe give them content) and wants to break out into full stack dev work (also add in the back end dev work which is about content hosting, user profile management, how the website is shared to the Internet etc).

This guy forks Ao3's code (which means he made a full copy of it, which is allowed based on the copyright Ao3 has) to then play at being a full stack dev without actually building any of the code or realistically most of the infrastructure. He is learning to do this from other people who also forked Ao3's code and regularly update their versions of Ao3 with the updates Ao3 puts out. Again, there is nothing legally wrong with that but yeah it's a scummy as fuck coding practice. All these sites are color overs of Ao3 with their own lil gimmicks and special takes. This site's is the 'no waiting' for sign ups and every tag is canon (which it already kinda is on Ao3 but just not wrangled).

Now here is the issue I see as an IT professional and coder myself

This guy admits he does not have full stack experience. This site is hosted on a private server he built himself as he is learning to do that, and he posted a guide for that too. My concern for this site isn't even AI scraping, it's your private data like passwords and email. Many people use the same password across many sites, and he doesn't have the background in full stack to provide top tier security on his site. He also hand built his server, again that is a security risk.

Also to consider, we don't know this guy at all. HE is a security risk. Are you wanting to share your email and password with him? His sever is going to host that information and he will have access to it. Do you trust him not to sell it?

This site's big gimmick is the no waiting for an account. My alarm bells are ringing that this is a perfect strike point for vulnerable data. He could be a genuine guy (and I am not claiming he isn't) and have all the fancy bells and whistles for security but I don't know that and right now our private information is the hot commodity every company wants to buy. He may have the best intentions but that doesn't matter to someone that is looking to strike for information. Post there if you want I won't stop you and I won't stop him from having this forked site, but I beg you, please use a unique password for this site for your own security. ((Honestly a really good practice in general too!)) I don't want anyone to get accounts broken into because of this.

TL:DR - I don't trust this. I don't care if I'm risking a loss if Ao3 collapses, I rather trust my personal data to a board of people that can keep each other in check and servers that have a track record for data security.

Edit - after a litany of comments on this post, I still stand by this statement with the only caveat being that the "author" isn't a super junior dev (claims 15 years experience but GitHub has only 6 years of repo projects). He has admitted to being impulsive in a now deleted comment and is using this project as a challenge for himself to "bring joy to the community." Protect yourself and your work and if using it, please follow his own suggestions to use it with a burner email address and a VPN for security.

[bunnyunderthebed]

if ff.lol had asked me for id or biometrics i would not have signed up. kyc shouldn't be a thing. the internet should be the wild west where nobody knows you're a dog. you said it yourself, this is just an ao3 fork, so why all the hullabaloo? you're acting like @bk-poetry is some sketchy boogeyman when they're literally just a dude having fun making things for fun. i was asked for an email. not my government name, not an address, not the funny numbers on the back of my dad's credit card. all of the data you care about has been publicly accessible for the last two decades and this isn't going to change. i wish people railed against the actual villains in tech rather than eat each other.

[bunnyunderthebed]

i'm screaming

can't you

no

no you can't

"Bunny, you're talking to that wall again."

he said

he said

he said they only worry

"When it starts talking back."

and you

[bunnyunderthebed]

"Do you remember anything else he said to you?"

no.

"What do you remember of him?"

i remember his face. sort of. i remember the little pods, panes of acrylic between them.

"Why do you think—"

i remember the conversation about the group homes. how they didn't want me.

"There were reasons, Bunny, practical reasons."

i know.

"You wouldn't've liked it there. It would have been much harder for you."

i know.

"The truth was they probably weren't really trying to put you in one at all."

i know. but She put up a fight.

"Not much of a thing to fight for."

but the greatest thing to fight against.

"Oh? What?"

my self.

[angelic-transsexual]

extreme man hate harms trans men and transmasculine people. men are not inherently evil. testosterone is not poison. masculinity is not inherently bad. i said what i said.

[ac1dbathh]

i would blow up antarctica to be your good boy i stfg

LMAO

Go ahead ill give you head if you do.

[bunnyunderthebed]

love, to melt the ice

his reward, never received

rising sea levels

[rhirily]

Claw marks and scratches across your flesh

Written with my hand's appendages

In a language you can't quite translate

A foreign tongue, but with such familiar

Spacing, similar punctuation, as though

The only difference were dialect

A regional variation between your fingers and mine

Skin samples under my nails, the word is

Clear to me;

Love.

So close, but so far, fron the translation

You derive, the dialect difference an

Unpredictable divide;

Hate.

₍ₜₕₒᵤ₉ₕₜₛ ᵥᵥᵢₜₕₒᵤₜ ₜᵢₘᵢₙ₉₎

[bunnyunderthebed]

biting smiles to sate my tongue, a lust for iron and lead. too many like the sunflower, who looks to me only with light behind my head. tomorrow i will abstain, a deck without a heart to play.

can you see the river from here? i thought the new was violent when it spit me out, but to be honest i wish it had swallowed. instead i walk alongside you, pretentious and petrified.

i dream of great works, art splayed and stained into asphalt. red cruelties made beautiful, lances to pierce and drain. a man curses me from afar, streetlight for desks and pointed fingers.

for all his strength, he couldn't beat the dog hard enough. to curse his ghost, i will.

[bunnyunderthebed]

i get weird itches. inside my ear, under my skin, behind my back.

something just out of reach. nametags floating in the distance, calling for me.

a party in the waiting room and only i'm invited. easier to dream friends than make them.