The Duke in Yellow

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

Oh goodness, you poor chap. Don’t worry, I’m sure it will all get better eventualy, or at least get more bearable! *more patting sounds* That reminds me of the time the Council forbade me to use firearms after I over-indulged a little with a roomful of other angels and your kind. Oooh, your double from another universe was there as well. He ended up being very cozy indeed with a nice grumpy chap called Dimitri. Have you met him? I believe he might be here.

#cupidwithamachinegun #*relieved sigh*#no more love talk

If by “here” y’mean your sort of place, then I think you bloody well know the answer to that. … Dimitri. Nah. Name don’t ring no bells. But what’s this about doubles?

Hello Duke, how are you on this fine day?

*hedgily* Can’t complain. And you, m’lord?

I have been laid up a little lately, so there is a certain amount of paperwork backlog. Would you like to temporarily exchange starmaking for some basic filing? It ought to be a thrilling experience for you by now.

*pats arm*

Of course, sir. *trying not to look too relieved* I’d appreciate that, sir. When d’you want me to start?

Oh, right away, if possible. I would be most grateful if you could prevent my office from vanishing completely under all the stacks of paper. I might even go so far and offer tea breaks to refresh yourself after each towering stack.

Aye, sir, of course. *already packing weapons into briefcase, just in case* Whiskey breaks’d be even more welcome, if you don’t mind.

*snickers* I’ll think about it. You might want to bring a comfortable chair.

Will do, sir. Anything else I’ll need, like? Got the requisites. Ink, pens, all that shi— sort of whatsits.

Oh, do not worry. Pens and doodads I have in overabundance. Just not the hands to wield them.

Be right over, sir. More’n enough hands here.

Wonderful. I have informed Lucifer of your reassignment already.

Much appreciated, sir. Seriously. Very much appreciated indeed.

#sensualitysense

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

*grits teeth* ……… Trust me. If you had to work at cuttin’ out bloody paper stars every goddamned day instead of your proper duties you wouldn’t be ruddy happy either. It’s got nothin’ to do with companionship.

Oh gosh, that sounds horrible, I am so sorry. *there’s a sound of patting over the phone* Why do you have to cut out paper stars? It sounds a bit tedious.

#cupidwithamachinegun #((battery dying help))

... Punishment, since you can't bloody mind yore own. I done a few poor decisions in the past few decades.

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

*hyperventilating* It is EXTREMELY important, do you, do you even have ANY IDEA what time of year it is? Oh, and I’m terribly sorry, yes, Amariel, Cupid, Department of Love, Heaven, so very pleased to meet you but can we perhaps do the pleasantries quickly? It is very important that I gather as much information as possible or- or who knows what will happen. *shudder*

What? No! Blessed heaven above no! What pleasantries? What bloody pleasantries? I got no pleasantries for your sort, you swank toadyin’ little feather duster!

*prepares to hang up*

*gasps in horror* No, please! Your life could depend on it! Probably does depend on it! Please, hear me out!

My life depends on not consortin’ with the filth what cowered behind the skirts of God when we were fallin’ from heaven, for your bloody information! Make your point or I hang up NOW!

*desperately* It’s February 14th! Soon! Less than a mo-, well, exactly a month, really, but technically less than a month now! Do you already know who you’re going to spend it with? It’s important!

Spend it wi—-? I’ll be spending it with a pile of paper and a pair of scissors, bless it all! What business is it of yours?!

*winces* …Paper? But…. Forgive me, I would be the last person in the world to shame someone for their kink, but aren’t papercuts down there rather uncomfortable? Let alone… scissors… Eeech.

*choking* That is NOT a kink. I know from kinks. What I meant was I’m going to bloody well be working! I ain’t had plans for any kind of holi— celebration for years cos I’m on Home arrest! What, are you offerin’??

*sputters* …I- why, would you be interested in me offering? I- My hands-on work is a bit different, but I suppose I could find the time, maybe go to a shooting range, a massage parlour, something like… that?

*takes a breath to yell, then slowly slowly lets out the breath and puts elbows on table, running hands through hair and squeezing eyes shut*

… What does it matter to you, a wee angel, whether I, a damned noble, have a date for your blessed holiday.

It is my job and my purpose and my sacred duty to ensure that as few lonely hearts suffer in solitude on that sacred day as possible! You are very obviously not happy with your life, if only you met a special someone to show you another side of the world, one you have been missing!

*grits teeth* ……… Trust me. If you had to work at cuttin' out bloody paper stars every goddamned day instead of your proper duties you wouldn't be ruddy happy either. It's got nothin' to do with companionship.

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

*hyperventilating* It is EXTREMELY important, do you, do you even have ANY IDEA what time of year it is? Oh, and I’m terribly sorry, yes, Amariel, Cupid, Department of Love, Heaven, so very pleased to meet you but can we perhaps do the pleasantries quickly? It is very important that I gather as much information as possible or- or who knows what will happen. *shudder*

What? No! Blessed heaven above no! What pleasantries? What bloody pleasantries? I got no pleasantries for your sort, you swank toadyin’ little feather duster!

*prepares to hang up*

*gasps in horror* No, please! Your life could depend on it! Probably does depend on it! Please, hear me out!

My life depends on not consortin’ with the filth what cowered behind the skirts of God when we were fallin’ from heaven, for your bloody information! Make your point or I hang up NOW!

*desperately* It’s February 14th! Soon! Less than a mo-, well, exactly a month, really, but technically less than a month now! Do you already know who you’re going to spend it with? It’s important!

Spend it wi—-? I’ll be spending it with a pile of paper and a pair of scissors, bless it all! What business is it of yours?!

*winces* …Paper? But…. Forgive me, I would be the last person in the world to shame someone for their kink, but aren’t papercuts down there rather uncomfortable? Let alone… scissors… Eeech.

*choking* That is NOT a kink. I know from kinks. What I meant was I’m going to bloody well be working! I ain’t had plans for any kind of holi— celebration for years cos I’m on Home arrest! What, are you offerin’??

*sputters* …I- why, would you be interested in me offering? I- My hands-on work is a bit different, but I suppose I could find the time, maybe go to a shooting range, a massage parlour, something like… that?

*takes a breath to yell, then slowly slowly lets out the breath and puts elbows on table, running hands through hair and squeezing eyes shut*

... What does it matter to you, a wee angel, whether I, a damned noble, have a date for your blessed holiday.

swallowwingsandserpentwiles-blog

cupidwithamachinegun said:

((*huuug* and we missed you! it’s a shame you weren’t there on Christmas, we did a masquerade event and it was so fun. we also have a Crowley now! And an Azi. and other new chars :D ))

((Yeahhhh Christmas I think I was probably too worn out to do much. But I’m here now! And hello, Azi!))

((*is summoned by mentions of Crowley* Hello there! ^_^))

((Hey! If y'all message me we can talk more ^^))

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

*hyperventilating* It is EXTREMELY important, do you, do you even have ANY IDEA what time of year it is? Oh, and I’m terribly sorry, yes, Amariel, Cupid, Department of Love, Heaven, so very pleased to meet you but can we perhaps do the pleasantries quickly? It is very important that I gather as much information as possible or- or who knows what will happen. *shudder*

What? No! Blessed heaven above no! What pleasantries? What bloody pleasantries? I got no pleasantries for your sort, you swank toadyin’ little feather duster!

*prepares to hang up*

*gasps in horror* No, please! Your life could depend on it! Probably does depend on it! Please, hear me out!

My life depends on not consortin’ with the filth what cowered behind the skirts of God when we were fallin’ from heaven, for your bloody information! Make your point or I hang up NOW!

*desperately* It’s February 14th! Soon! Less than a mo-, well, exactly a month, really, but technically less than a month now! Do you already know who you’re going to spend it with? It’s important!

Spend it wi—-? I’ll be spending it with a pile of paper and a pair of scissors, bless it all! What business is it of yours?!

*winces* …Paper? But…. Forgive me, I would be the last person in the world to shame someone for their kink, but aren’t papercuts down there rather uncomfortable? Let alone… scissors… Eeech.

*choking* That is NOT a kink. I know from kinks. What I meant was I'm going to bloody well be working! I ain't had plans for any kind of holi-- celebration for years cos I'm on Home arrest! What, are you offerin'??

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

*hyperventilating* It is EXTREMELY important, do you, do you even have ANY IDEA what time of year it is? Oh, and I’m terribly sorry, yes, Amariel, Cupid, Department of Love, Heaven, so very pleased to meet you but can we perhaps do the pleasantries quickly? It is very important that I gather as much information as possible or- or who knows what will happen. *shudder*

What? No! Blessed heaven above no! What pleasantries? What bloody pleasantries? I got no pleasantries for your sort, you swank toadyin’ little feather duster!

*prepares to hang up*

*gasps in horror* No, please! Your life could depend on it! Probably does depend on it! Please, hear me out!

My life depends on not consortin’ with the filth what cowered behind the skirts of God when we were fallin’ from heaven, for your bloody information! Make your point or I hang up NOW!

*desperately* It’s February 14th! Soon! Less than a mo-, well, exactly a month, really, but technically less than a month now! Do you already know who you’re going to spend it with? It’s important!

Spend it wi---? I'll be spending it with a pile of paper and a pair of scissors, bless it all! What business is it of yours?!

#patronofinsaneandlovers #cupidwithamachinegun

((Thank for the compliments btw uwu He's just a really angry bby))

*knocking on Asmodeus ' door*

Oi. I mean ---- hello, sir. Here for paperwork.

#sensualitysense

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

*hyperventilating* It is EXTREMELY important, do you, do you even have ANY IDEA what time of year it is? Oh, and I’m terribly sorry, yes, Amariel, Cupid, Department of Love, Heaven, so very pleased to meet you but can we perhaps do the pleasantries quickly? It is very important that I gather as much information as possible or- or who knows what will happen. *shudder*

What? No! Blessed heaven above no! What pleasantries? What bloody pleasantries? I got no pleasantries for your sort, you swank toadyin’ little feather duster!

*prepares to hang up*

*gasps in horror* No, please! Your life could depend on it! Probably does depend on it! Please, hear me out!

#cupidwithamachinegun #how did you find me

My life depends on not consortin' with the filth what cowered behind the skirts of God when we were fallin' from heaven, for your bloody information! Make your point or I hang up NOW!

((back to mobile, will be slow uvu))

Hello Duke, how are you on this fine day?

*hedgily* Can’t complain. And you, m’lord?

I have been laid up a little lately, so there is a certain amount of paperwork backlog. Would you like to temporarily exchange starmaking for some basic filing? It ought to be a thrilling experience for you by now.

*pats arm*

Of course, sir. *trying not to look too relieved* I’d appreciate that, sir. When d’you want me to start?

Oh, right away, if possible. I would be most grateful if you could prevent my office from vanishing completely under all the stacks of paper. I might even go so far and offer tea breaks to refresh yourself after each towering stack.

Aye, sir, of course. *already packing weapons into briefcase, just in case* Whiskey breaks’d be even more welcome, if you don’t mind.

*snickers* I’ll think about it. You might want to bring a comfortable chair.

Will do, sir. Anything else I’ll need, like? Got the requisites. Ink, pens, all that shi— sort of whatsits.

Oh, do not worry. Pens and doodads I have in overabundance. Just not the hands to wield them.

Be right over, sir. More'n enough hands here.

#sensualitysense

(your phone rings) HELLO! HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE? Hi? Hello! Please answer! Please please please answer!

*frowns and picks up the phone, very carefully, holding it away from ear*

Who’s this?

*hyperventilating* It is EXTREMELY important, do you, do you even have ANY IDEA what time of year it is? Oh, and I’m terribly sorry, yes, Amariel, Cupid, Department of Love, Heaven, so very pleased to meet you but can we perhaps do the pleasantries quickly? It is very important that I gather as much information as possible or- or who knows what will happen. *shudder*

What? No! Blessed heaven above no! What pleasantries? What bloody pleasantries? I got no pleasantries for your sort, you swank toadyin' little feather duster!

*prepares to hang up*

Hello Duke, how are you on this fine day?

*hedgily* Can’t complain. And you, m’lord?

I have been laid up a little lately, so there is a certain amount of paperwork backlog. Would you like to temporarily exchange starmaking for some basic filing? It ought to be a thrilling experience for you by now.

*pats arm*

Of course, sir. *trying not to look too relieved* I’d appreciate that, sir. When d’you want me to start?

Oh, right away, if possible. I would be most grateful if you could prevent my office from vanishing completely under all the stacks of paper. I might even go so far and offer tea breaks to refresh yourself after each towering stack.

Aye, sir, of course. *already packing weapons into briefcase, just in case* Whiskey breaks’d be even more welcome, if you don’t mind.

*snickers* I’ll think about it. You might want to bring a comfortable chair.