The Infamous Balance Brothers
Itās the Balance Brothers!
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@busemancomedy
The Infamous Balance Brothers
Itās the Balance Brothers!
Directed by David Howe. I love pussy and Will Smith ;)
This is over a month late because Iām bad at the part of comedy where I promote the things I do.Ā
Headlining a fun, free show tonight. 8pm at Austin Java, Barton Springs. (at Austin Java)
My #comedy #brand #strong AF doing a cool 30 minutes to close out this show tonight with some of my favorite people in town. #neat
5 Totally Plausible alt finishes to the Brock - Undertaker match at Summerslam
The timekeeper calling the match? Thatās bullshit and everyone knows it. Here are some other ways WWE could have booked it to have Undertaker win without Brock losingĀ credibility.
1.Brock has Undertaker beat. Demon Kane returns to form an alliance with Taker. Kane sets Brock on fire and Brockās shoulders melt off his body and fall to the mat. The referee counts three because, as Michael Cole explains, thereās no rule that says the rest of your body has to be attached to your shoulders. After the match Brock grabs the ref, Kane, and Undertaker and simultaneously German suplexes all three of them.
2.Brock blades several times because he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He squirts so much blood it temporarily blinds the referee, who is unable to see the Undertaker tapping out to the Kimura. Brock gets in an argument with the ref. Taker lowblows Brock and puts him in the Hellās Gate. Brock squirts so much blood it blinds ref again and ref waves his hands like āwhoa thatās a lotta blood in my eyesā but it looks a lot like a āring the bellā signal. Timekeeper rings the bell. Thereās confusion. Michael Cole explains that once a bell rings, nothing else can happen. Brock simultaneously German Suplexes the ref, the timekeeper, some guy that looked at him funny, and Undertaker.
3. The ref gets bumped. Jon Stewart comes out to interfere again, but Brock grabs him and throws him way up in the air because he can. Jon Stewart dislodges a piece of roofing from the Barclayās center, which comes hurdling back down to the ring. The roof hits Brock in the head, rendering him unconscious. Undertaker covers as the ref recovers for a three count. Brock wakes back up and simultaneously German Suplexes the ref, the Undertaker, Jon Stewart, and the Barclayās Center.
4. The ref gets bumped. Brock has Taker beat but thereās NO ONE THERE TO CALL IT BECAUSE ONLY REFS DO THAT.Brock gets so mad he German Suplexes HIMSELF and gets knocked out. A doctor at ringside pronounces him dead, but the ref is still out so the match canāt end. Taker makes the cover as the ref recovers for a three count. Brock is resuscitated and simultaneously German Suplexes Undertaker, the ref, the doctor, and the EMTās who saved his life.
5. Brock has Undertaker in the Kimura and Undertaker taps, the referee canāt see because heās distracted by a demon the Undertaker has summoned. Ā The demon goes into Undertakerās body and Undertaker starts speaking in tongues. Unfortunately, what comes out of his mouth sounds a lot like āI quit.ā Ref calls for the bell, but a secondary demon has overtaken the timekeeper, who is unable to perform his job. DemonTaker zaps all Brocks strength, tombstones, and covers him. The ref is confused, because he already called for the match, but Michael Cole explains a match isnāt over until the bell rings. Ref counts three. The demon inside the timekeeper leaves and the bell is rung normally.Brock recovers and simultaneously German Suplexes Undertaker, the ref, the timekeeper, and the two demons. The demons later join the Authority.
Well, I already work with my version of Steve Carrell right now: John Buseman.
http://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/arts/2015-07-09/ships-and-giggles-show-tips-waitstaff-overboard/
Ever gracious comedy boyfriend, Rob Gagnon was interviewed by the Austin Chronicle. A great read from one of the most tireless, positive people Iāve ever had the pleasure of knowing.Ā
We talk about this all time and itās very easy to forget :
Itās about the work.Ā
Donāt let your happiness depend on outside goals.Ā
Thereās so much you canāt control.Ā
No oneās waiting for you to do anything.Ā
Find your people and do as much as you can together.Ā
Weāre doing all the things we want, so letās focus on getting better and enjoy the process
Hey look, its me in 5 years. Or 5 hours with @badexampl3 9p @tnm_comedy
Tonight! Doing a cool 15 before the amazing Lashonda Lester. Free fuckin show!
Iām headlining Jazz Cigarette tonight!Ā
So much fun working with Kevin Nealon this weekend! (at Cap City Comedy Club)
Rob Gagnon has a new show! Full of standups and improvisors, and no standup or improv. What are they doing? Rob described itĀ āas an hour of the first part of Conanā BITS BABY BITS. Joining for the first time this Tuesday, April 14. Excited for the stupidity.
This weekend Iāll be hosting at the Jewish Community Center (what?) I have been told the audience will beĀ āolder and jewishā so, hopefully I find a new girlfriend. But also, if youāre young and want to come that would be good too.Ā
I talked to a man named Raven earlier. Here's some shows I'm doing this week.
Emotional Priorities
Some advice worth remembering now and then: Donāt get so obsessed you get unhealthy. Value real friends over status. Donāt drink too much too often. Avoid toxic people and groups. Take breaks. Miss things (the show everyone says you HAVE to watch, the workshop everyoneās dying to get into, even your own show) now and then so you can re-charge. If your friend is getting married during the weekend that there are auditions for house teams, skip the audition.Ā
I just listened to the same Alanis Morrissette song 12 times in a row. Come to Shit's Golden tonight!
IS HAMBURGERS IS HERE!
2 fun shows! BYOB.