i'm on my way @buttermilknipples - Tumblr Blog

hey if you’ve got a soft tummy that sticks out, welcome to the club bitch, you cool as hell and perfectly fine. enjoy yourself.

snorlaxatives

@ the water that drips down my arms when i wash my face and makes a big ass mess: fuckin fight me

beevean

reasons I’m still on this hellsite:

1) nowhere else I could find posts this specifically relatable

lohver

whoever’s reading this, i pray that you find happiness. not temporary happiness, or “if i pretend and put on a smile & laugh, maybe i’ll be happy” kind of happiness, but long lasting real happiness. the kind of happiness that makes ur face glow & lights up ur soul. you deserve it

bobertlutece

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it

lizatonix

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

great-tweets

WOW

king-emare

this was perfect

moodyspacebabe-deactivated20180

NOT ONE MINUTE MAN LMFAO

moved-to-naltorians-blog

gayassjana

I’m losing my SHIT

ankle-beez

No commercial has yet to top this

deryliya

unreadable

why do people stay longer in my head than they do in my life

agirlnamedally

the most universally sacred childhood experience for milllenials was listening to breakaway by kelly clarkson as we dramatically stared out the window during long car rides

jenndoesnotcare

I just left my husband alone with our two children for sixteen days. I was not worried about anything regarding the house, their food, or their wellbeing. I put all the appointments in the family calendar and my husband checked it and kept them. I literally did not worry about them. I missed them, and I was sad that they missed me, but I didn’t worry about them AT ALL. I need to impress upon you all that I missed their company, but was not worried for their welfare.

I also did no meal prep. I don’t even think I went shopping right before I left.

This is not about apples and oranges. This isn’t even about my husband. This is about the fact that this is apparently WEIRD.

Another mum at my daughter’s school is leaving for ten days. She’s taking her youngest (who is a very small baby) and leaving her husband with their two girls. She has been cooking for days preparing freezer meals. She’s panicking and deputizing her six year old to remind him how to make school lunches. AND I AM APPALLED.

A) He is definitely not helpless. (He’s a doctor or something.) What gendered bullshit. B) THAT LITTLE GIRL IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND HER SISTER’S WELLBEING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. C) Why is she married to this person and creating children with him if he’s this big of an idiot?

While she was laughingly recounting this, the other mums were nodding and smiling sympathetically, like oh yes, I too have my caveman at home!! Such managing required! I was the only one who was like “Dude, he’ll be fine. Literally. He will be fine.” I said it a lot. She was not convinced. She kept bringing up her older daughter. She’ll be like a little mum!

NO.

NO NO NO NO.

NO.

Straight women, don’t do this shit. It’s gross. Don’t infantilize your husbands and then expect your daughters to pick up the slack. So fucking gross. So. So. GROSS.

fozmeadows

The fact that so many adults think a six year old girl is more capable of learning and performing basic domestic tasks than a grown-ass man says it all, really.

parentheticalaside

This stuff is so toxic and awful. I told a car full of women one time that I refused to be in another relationship until I met a man who was capable of making his own doctors’ appointments and washing the dishes. They told me I was going to die alone.

Fuck this shit. Don’t enable men’s incompetence and label it cute.