Olive Garden... When you're here you are nothing but a fucking sex object

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Cosimo Galluzzi

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n

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@buttershee
Olive Garden... When you're here you are nothing but a fucking sex object
* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?
* (I'm collecting them.
* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.
* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!
* Oh, these parentheses I keep closing?)
* There’s some guy who keeps opening them.)
* Right now, they think they’re 1,762 parentheses deep…)
* But really? They’re all closed.) Thanks to me.)
ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out
MLK was a star trek fan
"okay, but are you a nonbinary woman or a nonbinary man" im going to nonbury you in a fucking hole.
celestia is such a funny character like she's constantly manipulating twilight and friends to do shit instead of just asking and you could arguably frame that as being bc she's a "god" and pushing fate to her design or whatever, except that she engages with the group like a normal and relatable person, which makes it more like villainous machinations, except 90% of this manipulation goes towards things like "I don't want my party to be boring shit again. put my little country girl blorbos in there with zero prep so they fuck it up bad"
you think you've fucked anything up around princess celestia and she's like heh. no worries. all according to keikaku
Celestia instantly makes more sense as a character when you ignore the princess stuff and remember that she's a 1000+ years old wizard. Of course she does manipulative trickster stuff to teach moral lessons and/or cause chaos to amuse herself, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course sometimes she's actually socially awkward and bad at personal relationships and has bad ideas that she thought were good that result in her eating shit embarrassing style, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course she lets the aristocrats and nobles run around being assholes she's still running on wizard advisor programming, she's basically trying to merlin the entire upper class of equestria instead of just a king and some knights. "Yeah uuhhh we'll release the incarnation of chaos himself from his ancient prison because we think this shy girl can be friends with him", terrible plan if you're thinking like a ruler, amazing plan if you're thinking like a wizard. Just look at Canterlot 'Castle' for five seconds and ask yourself if that's in any way a castle. No. Wizard tower, yes. Wizard.
You are so right actually
they killed him for this
he's ready
you mihght hate me Xx//IH8Animatrz//xX but i wont hate tyou. get drawed.
Warmup of friend Brick
Want a warmup piece like one of these? I've created a new channel in my discord specifically for submitting YOUR characters for me to draw as warmups! You can submit as many or as little characters as you like! discord.gg/EQf8HaRsPZ
everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters
Oh My God Damn
are those my only options
The book is so fuckin funny man. Just at some meeting and the crew goes 'ohhhhh are you two not dating. Yeah we thought you were just like. Stratt's lame loser boytoy who she kept around for reasons.' and mr asexual is over here like ??????????????WHAT???????????????
Things I noticed from re-watching PHM an hour ago:
Stratt prompts a room to clap for Grace at least two separate times
After the lab explosion, Stratt is up and running almost immediately, way before anyone else
As Carl and Grace are building the box for the astrophage, the bodyguards in the back are each eating a packet of skittles
Rocky’s puppeteer is on the news at the very beginning of the movie
Yao’s body is much more decomposed than Ilyukhina’s — possibly because he’s older, but I’m betting he died earlier in the journey than she did
Grace starts doing math almost immediately after getting out of his coma which is hilarious
So much fox stuff is in Grace’s belongings, which begs the question: does he like foxes THAT much, or did someone in charge of packing for him see his fox sweater and go “yeah okay, give him a shit ton of that”?
During the betrayal scene, both Grace and Stratt have visibly trembling lips
So Rocky has a bunch of permanent carvings along his carapace like family crest, rulers and protractors, marriage symbol, etc. I assume thats normal for Eridians, but the possibility that it's socially equivalent to getting full body tattoos for humans is funny. Imagine seeing this super inked out dude, but you look closer and its just a bunch of tattoos like.
"I LOVE MY HUSBAND," "FAMILY MAN," "ENGINEERING4LYFE."
Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.
Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.
No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.
He didn't do it.
The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.
Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?
From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.
After the beetle probes come back (honestly, probably even before), plenty of things get (re)named after Ryland Grace - Grover Cleveland Middle School becomes Ryland Grace Middle School, obviously, and astronomy/astrobiology buildings on college campuses and STEM scholarships in his name. Astrophage almost certainly gets the scientific name Astrophagus gracei.
Eva Stratt, meanwhile, gets the Eva Stratt Memorial Library (tagline: "she's not dead we just like remembering her") which is not, in fact, a library, it's the predominant hub for internet media piracy. The creators think they're hilarious.