[rt-pcr]

You: Daddy Longlegs

Me, an intellectual: Father Elongated Appendages

[buttfairy]

TFW YOU WORK 91 HOURS IN A PAY PERIOD AND STILL CANT AFFORD TO PAY OFF SHIT

[bang]

Were so fucked

[buttfairy]

me: please brain im begging you let's just fucking go to sleep

my shitass fuck brain: bongo bongo bongo i dont wanna leave the congo

[tastefullyoffensive]

View this post on Instagram

When you’re sleepy and someone won’t stop talking to you…

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

I’M NOT GOING TO SAY THIS AGAIN.

Yes, I AM Fergalicious, and so delicious.

BUT

I 👏 ain’t 👏 promiscuous 👏

(and???? if you were suspicious? ?? All that shit is fictitious)

[weloveshortvideos]

[shiftythrifting]

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

medieval painters: what is a feline? a miserable and fuzzy humanoid perhaps?

[leyla35-deactivated20180706]

This is cool but I’m laughing so much at the guy in the background I’m drunk tired

[ilovepeppers-deactivated2019122]

[imp-deactivated20171219-deactiv]

[straightboyfriend]

[orubor]

[witchazel-deactivated20160707]

Confusion

Realization

Acceptance

[hohohomo]

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This is so pure. :)

[viircos]

omg this is my favorite thing ever

[sushiangelbaby]

give him a hat it’s hot outside

[cbfplr]

This is the world’s largest crystal ruby. Mark Mothersbaugh had the gem carved in the shape of an ice cream cone.

[timsutton]

“A few years ago I became friends with a gemologist, and I saw all these gems that he had lying around, one of which was this big ugly stone that I picked up. “That’s the world’s largest ruby you’re holding.” He didn’t know what to do with it, so next time I saw him I asked if I could carve it. It’s right over there. [Points across the room to a glass case.]

I was thinking: Who do you sell the world’s largest ruby to? Somebody who’s uber-rich. And people don’t get uber-rich unless there’s something dark attached to it. It’s always communists in China, or drug dealers in South America, or oil people in Russia. It’s those kinds of people who are going to want the world’s largest ruby. And I wanted to fuck with them in some way. So I said: I’m going to carve it into a turd. But it will look like a custard. I’m going set it on top of a cone, and it will look like a sweet-treat, but really it’s a turd. They’ll buy it because it’s the world’s largest ruby, but only I’ll know that it’s a turd.“ - Mark Mothersbaugh

[glitterytiddies]

Chaotic good

[becausebirds]

👽  Unmute this video 👽

[glyphsmash]

this is arguably the worst thing i have ever seen in my entire life

[drugsound]

I think you meant the best