Flagrante Delicto

The Equivalent of a Mental Junk Drawer... 22•They/them•Queer

[romanceyourdemons]

local asian market reorganized its shelves. consequently when i went looking for my ve wong vegetarian flavor instant noodles i unexpectedly found myself in the Good Quality Cookware And Beautiful Dishes aisle, aka the aisle of temptation, face to face with a mug (my favorite dish) with a lid (my favorite thing for a mug to have) and a heron pattern (my second-favorite bird) at a very reasonable price (i’m on a budget and i literally do not have room for another mug on my mug shelf). it was like one of those fucked up tests they give monks in shaolin movies to see if they’ve really given up earthly desires. that mug is going to haunt the broken man that i am for a long time

[romanceyourdemons]

i am not making it into the monastery

[ID: my hand holding a ceramic mug as described; most of the birds in the pattern are grey-feathered, but one is red-feathered /end ID]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

(confidently) no, that's a self-tolling bell. it tolls automatically, signifying nothing for the hearer. why

[cipheramnesia]

I thought for a minute it might be for m- I mean, I hoped maybe...

[akiweas-deactivated20240216]

i pass the bong to alexander the great. he has been surprisingly quick to grasp the idea and is now taking fat rips that make my eyes water to watch. he pauses after clearing the chamber, the stem lightly pinched between two slender fingers covered in gold filigree and tiny glittering emeralds. he holds it for a count of 5 and then blows the cloud out his pursed lips and flared nostrils. "delightful. much like a dragon." he says calmly, his eyes red and watery like sea-glass held to the sunset. "you know," he drawls, "we're not much different, you and i"

[slow-drowned-angels]

“Do it scared” but please realize that, if you Do It Scared too much and don’t let yourself rest + relax + have fun in between, you will fuck yourself up. If you “do it scared” all day every day, you will burn out badly and quickly. Sometimes this is temporarily necessary but please keep this in mind.

[barnables]

When you “do it scared” eventually you’re supposed to be less scared, eventually doing it scared is supposed to teach you the worst won’t happen, or it won’t be as bad as you think it is, or that the best outcomes are worth it, or you’re more capable than you thought you were. If you do it scared over and over and you’re still scared and you’re always scared, maybe it was never about pushing yourself, maybe something bigger is going on and what you really need is to be kind to yourself while you figure out what that is.

[northirish]

If I was on the boat in Jaws I simply would not let the shark eat me

[northirish]

I would've also flirted with those three old men incessantly

[anphivenas]

straight men are on something else

[skeletood]

Go ahead, put anything.

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

The way I make white rice could get your mother out her panties and I mean that.

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

The way I make pork chops could get your father in those very same panties and I mean that too.

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

If your father keeps kosher or halal, my steak options have the same effect.

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

If your dad's vegan, he's already wearing your mother's panties BOOM OWNED

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

[posts-with-10000-notes-in-spirit]

current note count: 412

[great-and-small]

Turdus aficionados of Costa Rica please know I love your national bird but this is objectively hilarious

[rosethyme]

@choppers-pink-hat

[choppers-pink-hat]

Hello, so I'm originally from Costa Rica and there's actually a good reason why the Yigüirro was chosen over so many other more colorful birds. All those toucans, parrots, and the like are quite beautiful but your average Costa Rican person rarely gets to see them, because they mostly live out in the rain forests and other places far away from human settlements. But Yigüirros live in towns and cities, so most folks are much more likely to see and appreciate them on a regular basis. Yigüirros have a strong, beautiful song which heralds the start of the rainy season, so you always know when one is around during that time of year. This trait has caused the Yigüirro to appear in a lot of Costa Rican literature as well. I think the fact that they were chosen over visually prettier species speaks to how the government let Costa Ricans vote on the national bird, rather than just making a declaration. Truly a bird of the people!

Having said all that, it is undeniably hilarious that there is a genus of bird named "Turdus."

[should-be-sleeping]

I've never been so suspicious in my life.

[should-be-sleeping]

Love the people tagging my weekly shopping experience as "psychological horror."

[should-be-sleeping]

I need you all to know this is very much my reality!

[slimewizaaard]

This looks like its supposed to be a drawing. Like its trying to hard to be a drawing. But it isn’t.

[fyrenwater]

@ominous-signs

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous meat-> meat-> meat->

[pansyfemme]

jerking off liveblogging

[pansyfemme]

yanking it

[pansyfemme]

yanking it

[pansyfemme]

yanking it

[pansyfemme]

something happened

[sneefsnorf]

stop using chat gpt. i can also feed you misinformation when you ask me questions and also im beautiful

[omegaversereloaded]

genuinely feel like a gnome i ate too many blueberries and i feel sick,

[omegaversereloaded]

could more blueberries fix this?

[cutie-melon]

only one way to find out

[omegaversereloaded]

[yaoiboypussy]

Hellppp some transphobe found my posts about getting surgery and is yelling in my asks about how I mutilated my ‘perfect feminine body’ . I got my wisdom teeth removed.

[brawltogethernow]

[The divine feminine] is stored in the [wisdom teeth]

[homunculus-argument]

fantasy story: but we grew complacent, indulgent, arrogant, spoiled by this era of prosperity and splendour, and in our short-sighted greed and vanity, we ended it. me at 15: I hate this stupid trope. People aren't going to just turn stupid and ruin everything just because things have been "too good" for "too long". Why does this author think that people are inherently stupid and evil? people on social media in 2024: I'm not going to vaccinate my dogs or my children because polio, measels and rabies are so rare they're not a real threat anyway uwu me at 30: Ah. I see.

[blackulax]

They are just like me forreal

[white-throated-packrat]

every time I see film of a platypus I am struck again by how small they are

[pdlcomics]

going to bed