bxyhero
{Ā GAVIN }
Ā Ā Heās CLINGING to his boyfriend, holding on to him as though Ā Ā the other boy is the ONE thing keep him from drowning in the Ā Ā sea of emotions currently rushing through his body. Itās odd, Ā Ā how he feels so NUMB yet so much PAIN all at once, and itās Ā Ā tiring and confusing and Gavin is really not so sure how heās Ā Ā going to get through this, if at all.
Ā Ā Heās suffered a LOT Ā in his short life so far, Ā has won so many Ā Ā battles and and overcome Ā so much pain, Ā but this almost feels Ā Ā too much. And how could it not Ā - Ā having just lost the TWO real Ā Ā brothers Ā that he Ā cared for, Ā the only Ā two that Ā never Ā hurt him, Ā Ā judged him, hated him? Ā The two that he has Ā spent his childhood Ā Ā looking after and making sure they were okay, the two that he was Ā Ā more of a DAD for than the one that had ended their lives in a Ā Ā drunken rage?
Ā Ā Gavin wishes this was all just a NIGHTMARE, that heād wake up Ā Ā sooner or later and that all would be well - that Josh and Andy are Ā Ā still alive and safe, somehow.
Ā Ā Ā Ā He doesnāt know what to say. If he couldĀ say anything to Ā Ā Ā Ā help the situation. Bellamy may have Ā a Ā way Ā with Ā words, Ā Ā Ā Ā but heās certain he wonāt be able to say anything to make Ā Ā Ā Ā this seem Ā BETTER. Ā How Ā could Ā he? Ā Two Ā of Ā the Ā most Ā Ā Ā Ā important people in Ā Gavinās Ā life Ā were Ā GONE. Ā He Ā mayĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā not be able to understand how heās feeling, but he knows Ā Ā Ā Ā how much they meant to him.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā He holds his boyfriend tightly, running his hands throughĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā his hair. He may not have any words, but heās trying Ā his Ā Ā Ā Ā best to show that heās there for him. Ā Every Ā step Ā of Ā the Ā Ā Ā Ā way, heās there. He WISHESĀ there Ā was Ā something Ā he Ā Ā Ā Ā could do, That there was some sort of way to Ā help Ā him, Ā Ā Ā Ā if he could go back in time and protect them for him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā He presses a kiss against the younger maleās head and Ā Ā Ā Ā pulls Ā him Ā in Ā close Ā again. Ā āIām Ā soĀ sorry, Ā Gavin.ā Ā He Ā Ā Ā Ā doesnāt know what else to say, or if he should have said Ā Ā Ā Ā anything at all. Either way, he felt like he should at least Ā Ā Ā Ā acknowledge that itās all happening.
