elliot/elio/eli/e/whatever u want idrc ✶ he him ✶ mlm ✶ ftm ✶ junior in hs ✶ future physics major ✶ mexican + cuban no sabo kid here to speak (whine) into the void
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this blog is just meant to be my little digital diary! i’ll be posting life updates, things from my day, sometimes pictures (#me), sometimes i’ll be horny on (not)main, but mostly i’ll bitch about how much i love my physics teacher (#mr.o). wonderful man.
no dni, do wtv, i’ll let u know if i don’t want u here
feel free to send asks/dms i’m always down to chat:)
likes: coffee (iced or hot, but always black), passionate male authority figures that are loud about caring for me, nature walks (with a lucky strike), space, physics puns, henna, good food, my friends, lamenting my life on the west coast while stuck in the midwest
cocteau twins, lorde, deftones, audioslave, rainbow kitten surprise, fiona apple, linkin park, slowdive, massive attack, bowie, ethel cain, lana, alice In chains, elliot smith, tyler the creator, hozier
dead poets society, interstellar, mysterious skin, saw (all of them), cmbyn, black swan, evil dead (all of them—army of darkness especially), moulin rouge, snatch, midnight in paris, bones and all, donnie darko, supernatural, the boys, gilmore girls, new girl, the pitt
dislikes: hateful people, waiting for my life to start after high school, my mother and father (mostly my father)
my tc tags (JR YEAR):
#mr. o — physics teacher! the one i’ve been talking about most beautiful, stable man in my orbit. he wears black slacks and a colorful button up every day, my favorites being this dark blue, this lilac purple he usually wears with a dark purple tie, this spring green, and this black and grey plaid. he’s shorter than average, but he’s so fucking confident about it which makes me admire him, as i am also minuscule. i would quite literally do anything for him. our eyes always linger on each other. i’m always the last one to leave his classroom. i go to his office hours when no one else does to just sit and be in his presence. we have very nice chats. he’s almost certainly single and i’m beyond desperate to be his stress relief
#mr. d — former math/shop teacher! been my teacher for two years now. he’s larger than life, fucking hilarious, and probably the most conventionally attractive teacher that works at that school. he’s like a cool dad. everyone loves him, he has zero haters in that school, and if someone does hate him, everyone else hates them. he’s married with no kids, but a dog and a cat. i have very few qualms about disrespecting his marriage on here, tbh
#mr. j — history teacher! won’t get talked about a lot cuz i actually respect his relationship with his fiancée. it’s more of a passive admiration + the fact that he’s so sweet and supportive. he recognizes how much i care and voices it which i appreciate
#mr. m — counselor! he’s very paternal to me, but whenever i sit with him to chat i can’t keep my eyes off his crotch. he’s huge. he cares so much about me and he’s extremely gentle, probably more than he should be. no matter how badly i’m doing, he never blames me, makes sure i’m taking care of myself, and encourages me to put myself first (something my father has never done).
camping trip with my husband (middle aged physics teacher who is a huge stickler for the rules but im on a mission to change that >:))
splitting the little moments we had into two posts: saturday & sunday
my outfits were super cute i wore every pair of little shorts i own tehe
on saturday i was so nervous i barely looked at him. i got kinda worried i was being too weird. i hadn't seen him since may so i was soooo awkward and my gaze kept automatically flicking away whenever we made eye contact.
didnt speak to him until dinner. it was a short and sweet "how was your summer?" conversation and ended on a cute note ("you're coming back to physics, yeah?" "mhm, get ready for some back to school cookies." "can't wait.").
buuut then i realized i have him WHIPPED!!!
later that night, i walked up to this group of teachers to thank a different (super hot and sexy) teacher for helping me call home and he immediately ended whatever conversation he was having to walk over to me and ask what i needed from him. i hadn't even looked at him!!! i hated having to be like "oh, ummm i'm sorry, i just wanted to thank mr. __" but he took it like a champ and that smiiileeee uuuugghhh...
also, i took a bunch of videos during karaoke with him in the background. he lipsyncs so adorably i will treasure those for the rest of my liiifeeee.
right before bed i asked a staff member i love if she had a charger. she didn't, so she asked him for me. he very eagerly offered and i thanked him.
i will forever regret not asking him to join me in my tent later that night. definitely dreamed about what could've happened. i was the only one sleeping solo and i was just on the edge of the site it could've worked :(
we’re so back next month two class periods with him confirmed
i already have conversation starters planned and i have these little brown shorts i’ve already gotten a lot of attention in im gonna wear them on the first day:3
To the amazing people who tagged me <333: @dreamshaxd @thesummerrtriangle @koreanbibliophilegirl
The amazing people who like a reblog my nonsense <333: @demoniccrowz @quotidian-oblivion @unknown-guesses @fr-likes-chocolate @foursixtwonineoh-pizzas-of-lego @igotthisaccountunderduress @brb-on-a-quest @behold-a-cat
I’m retagging because there’s a bit of overlap here hehe)
@crow-aeris @igotthisaccountunderduress @quotidian-oblivion @gremmyroeroe @brb-on-a-quest @myfairkatiecat @thehummingbirdsmatter @informedimagining @junojojo @marithefriendlyghost @themundanemudperson I love you allllllllll
theres literally so many accounts i love seeing on my feed (and a lot of you are my mutuals!!!! which is crazy!!!!!! like wdym this person wrote the greatest piece of literature the world has seen and they’re my mutual anyways)
HELL YEAH I LOVE POSITIVITY!!!!! MY TEST RESULTS FOR BEING HAPPY ARE POSITIVE!!!!!!!
@everyone. how do i do thi- oh right we're not on discord..
@fatelosingitspatience @beatrixie12 @grillthusiast @agendermarimba @transmasc-offical @laufey-official @fish-with-autism @fishthebassistrawrxd @mildcharacterenjoyer @harbinger-of-silly @riddleribbonkat @just-your-normal-human-being @maddiegayashell @bacone-official @knickknat @creationclown @clowncore09 @oogl3 @drumsticks-offical @c7b3rzp4c3 AND ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS AND MOOTS AND PEOPLE AND BEINGS WHO I HAVE INTERACTED WITH!!!!! STAY POSITIVE!!!!!!!
@sacabambaspis-offical @ashelf66 @amnesia-offical @confused-cookie-blog @laciffo-natas @satan-offical @killer-offical (shh I know you were already tagged) @astronaut-offical @zeta-finnish you guys are probably the ones I see on my dash/page/thingy the most! Joy for you, whimsy for everyone!
@bzcutszn @th3odore @boyjailbait @s1llyguy um also shoutout to jules n layla n tia n alois and gia and olive and arseny and lyric and riri but i cant find their tags gulp
it doesn’t matter if everyone thinks i’m “delusional and embarrassing myself.” these people can say whatever they want but i know what i saw
i know how he softens his voice when he speaks to me
i know how he lights up when i walk into his classroom
i know that he smiles at me sweeter than he smiles at anyone else
so no, i don’t care if his coworker or his student or the janitor across the hallway wants to assume things about MY relationship with him omg just walk in the other direction and pretend you don’t see anything when i go to visit him for the fifth time in one day
i feel like i have no one to be fully myself with because who i really am is just off putting/dangerously self-destructive
i always start out slow when opening up entirely, they can take it, and we’re good talking about whatever whenever until one day they just stop interacting with what I’m saying or they start acting more judgmental than ever before
at which point i just shut up about it forever even though everything feels lighter when i have someone to be fully open with. everything’s so much heavier when no one knows about it but me.
but at least they care? i guess the alternative is someone who genuinely doesn’t gaf about my safety?
i just want someone that lets me talk about uncomfortable stuff without judgement or constantly reminding me that what im doing is dangerous or stupid. i KNOW THAT already.
i miss the way he looked at me and i miss the way i could make him smile:( i’d bake a million more cookies if it meant i could see him and he’d hug me again aauughhh
we should be laying in bed naked smoking a cigarette together but nooo he’s probably on vacation with his wife
all week splitting headaches, nic withdrawal, nightmares every night, every muscle is stiff, failing half my classes, shaking like a leaf, looking like a sad wet cat 24/7 someone (older, intellectual gentleman) save me please save m
