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[tinylilhollander]

Thinking about that post about how Hayden would accidentally come out as bi and immediately have to walk it back (like Misha Collins). But imagine Marleau doing it. He only realises what he's done when Ilya texts him like "Did you mean to post this, Marly? If so, congrats on coming out as bi, bro! I am proud of you ❤️" And it's always nice when Roz is proud of him so he decides he should probably make 100% sure that he isn't bi before telling the world that there's been a mistake. So he asks Ilya for recommendations on good clubs to visit, sucks his first dick for real (the rest was just bro stuff) and goes home with the guy. Four years later Ilya is best man at their wedding.

[c4tchm3ifyouc4n]

Shane and Ilya playing on the same team is not a bad concept in itself. Like, yes, have them absolutely dominate the league! Let them live together and play together every single day. As a concept, this is such a lovely resolution for them. The problem is Shane's lack of agency.

All that was needed here (for this particular issues, there are of course more to deal with) was to have Shane slowly become disillusionment with Montreal over the course of the book. Maybe have him see how Ilya's team is and be shocked that he's actually jealous of that. Have him gradually decide that he wants that, too.

The trip is such a weird writing choice, honestly? Get rid of it. Have Shane score a Hattrick in that match, do everything right, and still be blamed for the loss. Hell, have Montreal win the game and loose later on, maybe also against Scott? Have the team still be vile towards him, even after he carried them on his back this far. Have Shane decide that actually, fuck it. He's done. He's not doing this for another ten years.

Then, when Shane comes to Ottawa, it's his choice. You can have Ilya renegotiation his contract, take a pay cut to in solidarity, so that Ottawa can afford him. Give Shane the A, at the very least. Maybe keep Ilya as Captain but put Shane on the 1st line, or vice versa? It could work. Shane could've 100% gotten what he deserved and didn't need to go through that humiliation ritual.

All that was needed to make the ending okay was for Shane to choose the best option for himself.

[lesbianroselandry]

one other thing about tlg that really makes it impossible for me to like or engage with its story beats is that, like. not only is it just a cruel and racist book in how it treats shane, but also its ilya characterization is just wholly and completely inconsistent with heated rivalry ilya whatsoever!! that's literally not the same character. that's some other fuckin guy wearing his face.

in heated rivalry, ilya rozanov is:

an immigrant who has a lot of feelings about his family and being apart from them after moving overseas

a very private person underneath his posturing and loud exterior (all the bragging and bullshitting serves to deflect attention from all the vulnerabilities he refuses to let anyone see)

so deeply closeted he can't even entertain the concept of a completely secret committed relationship with a man until he sees the skip kiss

so deeply closeted, repressed, and scared of homophobic retribution that he constantly rejects shane's bids for emotional connection for YEARS until the skip kiss

generally not someone who talks about his feelings literally ever. getting him to open up is like pulling teeth

a man with a somewhat contentious relationship with the media (early hr ilya struggling with english in press conferences and feeling self conscious of his english next to shane, and developing a media personality full of bravado and swagger) who is well aware of and even actively cultivates a specific public image that serves as a cover for all the things he refuses to share

again. private. repressed. really deep in the closet and really comfortable in there, to the point of not understanding why shane's sexuality crisis was even a big deal to him, bc to ilya this is something to be kept hidden behind closed doors and not acknowledged otherwise no matter what.

so how the fuck did we get from all that, to a man who is suddenly just frothing at the mouth to post details of his sexuality and personal life on instagram???????

and like yeah, a character can have development where they change radically from how they've been established. but if you want me to believe that ilya "private and repressed" rozanov suddenly wants to blast personal details onto the internet, you better SHOW me that character development. it can't be entirely offscreen! as it is, he doesn't even scan as the same guy. like, what's next, an a:tla sequel where aang changed his mind about killing entirely offscreen? lord of the rings pt. 2 where sam gamgee is suddenly a capitalist? another star wars sequel where it turns out that, actually, leia never actually cared about alderaan?

if you're going to change the core characteristics of a major character, that character work and development needs to be done on screen. otherwise it just does not read like that's the same character. and by throwing out everything about ilya's repression and struggles as an immigrant, and instead turning him into someone who wants to invite public scrutiny of his queer relationship, tlg just reads as a text fundamentally incompatible with hr. i don't know who the fuck that man is, but he's not the ilya rozanov i know.

[c4tchm3ifyouc4n]

Petition to start calling Role Model "The Illiad"

[c4tchm3ifyouc4n]

I've seen such an influx of people dogging on Ilya in the long game recently and, listen. I get it. I'm with you, the characterisations in the book are horrible. RR is incredibly biased against Shane and he doesn't deserve the treatment he receives. Too many of Ilya's actions are just dismissed when they shouldn't be. I hear you, I'm with you, the book is awful.

We are, however, going way too far in the other direction, because why is Ilya suddenly the literal devil from the Bible?

First of all, Ilya moving to Ottawa WAS a sacrifice. It was his choice, it was probably the best choice he could've made, but he still had to uproot his life and leave behind the city he spent his whole adult life in. And it deserves to be acknowledged, that he went to such lengths to give their relationship a shot. It was the most logical option, yes, but it still took it's toll on him. He has the right to feel bad.

Going from this, the whole "he would've moved either way, he wanted a passport" argument. People. Please. Do you ACTUALLY think he would've moved to OTTAWA if it wasn't for his relationship with Shane? Even further, would he have actually left Boston? Yes, he says he wants Canadian citizenship in the cottage episode. But honestly, the whole time I took it as him trying to subtly brainstorm ideas to make things work with Shane without showing his cards fully. He says he's willing to move to the same country, and cites a logical reason. Aka typical Ilya Rozanov move, trying to play it cool and avoiding showing vulnerability while still steering the situation where he wants it (tuna melt, enough said).

And sure, maybe he did consider moving, but that very clearly wasn't his only plan for staying away from Russia. Are we forgetting "I could marry Svetlana"? He had other ideas, Canada was just one of them.

Not to mention, he would NOT have gone to OTTAWA of all places. He would have gone to a team that was actually competitive, maybe in the western conference.

Now going into the boxing day fight itself. Ilya does not give Shane an ultimatum. He does not say "give up hockey for me or we're done". He says "if external circumstances forced you to choose between me and hockey, would you choose me or would you leave me to keep playing hockey". Yes, it's a hard question asked in the heat of the moment and was bound to end bad, but as a sentiment, it's not wrong of Ilya to want it. He wants reassurance of stability, to know that Shane is going to stick by him if things go wrong (which it very much could, any day). That's not an unreasonable thing to want from a commited relationship that you've built your life around for the last two years.

Oh also, about Ilya outing Shane to Troy: this never happens. Ilya comes out for himself, Troy starts asking about Shane being gay (which he heard from league gossip), and Ilya immediately shuts him down.

As I said, I'm all for criticising tlg and the horrible characterisation and RR's writing in genery (oh I have so many opinions on the writing), but you people are falling into the same trap that the Shane-hating crowd did. You decided to villify one character, assuming the worst for all his intentions and refusing to give him a shred of grace. That's not how you engage in critical media analysis.

[tarawitht]

Why write the trip? Why give the Metros an excuse to ostracize Shane? Why not just have them be homophobic without Shane doing anything wrong on the ice? They could have accused him of throwing games with zero evidence, purely out of prejudice, and the story would have been so much sharper for it.

Instead, by having him actually trip against Ilya, the narrative gives the bigots plausible deniability. (And validates the league’s stance that gay players are compromised liability.)

It lets them mask their homophobia as outrage and questions of betrayal and integrity, transforming a story about systemic hate into a cheap misunderstanding. (And that’s why we have Shane and the narrative forgiving JJ. Because IT reads as a misunderstanding.)

If you take the trip away and let him play a flawless game, the Metros still turn on him solely for who he is. It sends a much harsher, more honest message: you can perform without a single flaw, and bigotry will still make them hate you. They didn't need a reason to turn on him, and giving them one just pulls the narrative's punches.

[felixafterall]

Before they come out Ilya makes a joke in an interview about being them being in a relationship, it only works out of context and no one believes him to actually be dating Shane (most people think it’s a dig at Scott but they also know him and Scott are friends so they figure it’s an inside joke)

Anyway

Shane gives him shit about it but also finds the reactions to it hilarious when he’s calmed down, Ilya feels a little bad about it but it wasn’t planed it slipped out without him thinking.

Fast forward Ilya is bored and checking Shane’s Wikipedia page when he sees a single line that makes a sort of jealously he hasn’t felt in years bubble up,

“Shane Hollander also briefly dated Rose Landry in 2016”

Ilya hates it. But doesn’t mention it to Shane because he knows it’s completely irrational and ffs Rose is his friend too now!!

He tries to edit it away but it just keeps coming back so he checks the guidelines for it and grins, he edits it to say,

“Shane Hollander also briefly dated Rose Landry in 2016 and is currently seeing Ilya Rozanov”

How does he get it though? The video of the joke he made.

It becomes an inside joke after that (Shane has no clue about it) everyone thinks it was a crazy fan or someone joking around not thinking it would get through but it sticks. No one changes it because it’s FUNNY.

Because Shane and Ilya would NEVER date..

Then they get outed and Ilya admits to being the one who changed it and everyone goes crazy while also wanting to cry because what do you mean a joke was the only way people could take your relationship??

[drabbles-and-rambles]

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.

[omens-of-what-is-to-cum]

In another, angstier, world in Tampa….

Maybe they didn’t kind of talk before getting to the hotel room in Tampa, so Ilya just gets a text with a room number and time after months of no contact from Shane

Ilya feels fucking insane when he receives the text. He was so sure that he had lost Shane forever by trying to take too much from him.

Shane had wanted sex and sex only from him, and Ilya being too obviously in love with him broke everything.

but now there’s this tiny ray of hope and Ilya zeros in on that shit like a fucking starved bloodhound, he is NOT letting Shane go without a fight

So Ilya makes it to the room exactly on time, picks his sluttiest top and fixes his hair to fall perfectly across his cheekbones, makes sure his cross is right below his clavicle.

He has condoms and lube in his pocket and looks like sex incarnate and all he can do is fucking pray to god and his mama that this won’t be Shane ending things between them forever. He doesn’t care about Rose Landry. He doesn’t care if Shane loves him or not. He just wants him for as long as possible, in any way Shane will let him have.

Shane opens the door and for a second it’s awkward silence, frigid static crackling the air between them. The door closes behind him, and all Shane can get out is an “uh… thank you for comi-“ before Ilya is on him, kissing him like whole world is over.

if he can just delay what Shane’s going to say, distract him from the inevitable break up, then maybe he can have one last time with him.

maybe if he fucks Shane well enough, makes him feel good enough, Shane will think Ilya fucking him is a risk worth continuing.

Shane hesitates for a second and Ilya is just trying not the sob against his mouth, before ultimately Shane melts into him.

They fuck, and every time Shane tries to say anything, Ilya is getting his mouth on his cock or his fingers in his ass, anything to stop the words from forming, anything to make Shane keep kissing him.

And Shane is SO sweet and soft under him, gentle in a way that fucking terrifies Ilya because people are only gentle when they pity him, and Shane would only pity him if he really did want to end things, if he really did want to break Ilya’s heart.

So Ilya puts everything he has into making Shane feel better then he ever has, better then Rose Landry could even attempt, because thats the only way he knows how to plead his case.

eventually they’re both too exhausted to continue, and Ilya hurries around the room, washing Shane so softly, never making eye contact or conversation, leaving the room to ‘go to the bathroom’ or ‘rinse out the stained washcloth’ every time Shane tries to talk.

Shane ends up falling asleep with Ilya sweetly fussing over him, and seeing his sleepy face and hearing the little gasps he makes in his sleep for the second and probably last time makes Ilya feels so raw he could cry.

Ilya leaves him with a forehead kiss, just like the one Shane gave him after their first time, all of those years ago.

-

Over the next few months, this is how it goes between them. Ilya tries to be more subtle about cutting off any serious discussion when they fuck.

He also doesn’t really have to worry about a hard conversation happening online, because Shane is a Good Boy raised by Yuna Hollander and would never break up with someone over text.

So every time they meet up, Ilya is simultaneously so fucking desperate for him, he feels so alive in the days leading up to them touching, also like he’s walking to the gallows.

(little does he know that what Shane WANTS to tell him is that he is Gay, Single, and also wants NOT to be single, with Ilya specifically. Shane is also getting increasingly dejected, because from his pov this is more like that time in Vegas, but with the care of the tuna melt day. The only reason he isn’t having his own crisis is because he’s significantly more assured in himself then he used to be, and he KNOWS he wasn’t hallucinating that way Ilya said his name that day.)

They do figure it out still…

eventually >:)

[mina-logan]

Idk if you are still taking requests/ideas, but I just posted an *Ilya gets rimmed* fic and I haven't seen any art of this particular scenario yet. So... if you feel inspired. 💕🙏

A bit more than that but I’ve got that planned too.

Art HERE

[isolabellz]

🚨 EXCLUSIVE: The newlywed MHL couple known to the internet as hollanov spotted heating things up in Ibiza while on their honeymoon

[aeligsido]

AU where Ilya's father dies before Irina can commit suicide, so she ends up not doing it and Ilya grows up with his mother instead of his father. He still goes into hockey and professional but less because he needs to escape Russia and more because he really really likes it and wants to have fun with it (and there's a kid in Canada who can keep up with him.....)

(also his brother never becomes an asshole and addicted bc he didn't need to deal with their father + depression + their mom's death and his feelings about it)

Anyway ofc Ilya still pursues Shane with all he has and ofc Shane kind of fold for him (in every ways ehehehheheh i'm hilarious)

But also I have this scene in mind where Yuna and Irina talk during the draft after party and Yuna is internally grinding her teeth bc this woman's son took her baby's spot and victory but she is still being Polite so she's making small talk and.

Yuna: And what about your husband? He must be proud of your son too, right?

Irina, unfazed: Oh, he died a few years ago.

Yuna, assuming Ilya's parents were about the same age: Oh, I'm sorry! Was it an accident, sickness?

Irina, very obviously still in her thirties-not-yet-forty: Oh, no. Old age :)

Yuna, Who Knows How To Do Math: Ah. I see.

Anyway they became friends and it becomes a meme in the hockey fandom that rivals Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander are forced to interact bc their moms are besties.

[cliff-marleaus-left-toe]

I have this headcanon where in an alternative universe Ilya had a moment of insight at the beginning of their hookups so when The Raiders asked where he was going instead of saying he was gonna see Montreal Jane he was like 'I am gonna see my close personal friend Shane Hollander we are gonna eat takeout and play videogames in his house he is my best friend actually.' And the Raiders were like, 'Yeah, right.' But he kept the bit, and every time they were in Montreal, he told the Raiders he was meeting Shane, and the rivalry was just league PR bullshit. They never truly believed him, but it didn't really matter at the time. And When they were eventually at the cottage and Shane told Ilya his plan Ilya was like 'Do not be mad but I have been telling Raiders you are my best friend and every time we play monteral I come to see you to play videogames and eat takeout for years and they never belived me so there is still plusably denibility but if you wanna launch a friendship we dont have to wait or built up I already laid the groundwork.' And Shane is in his head like 'I am gonna marry this man.' So they announce the charity the same summer and the raiders are like 'well shit he was telling the truth.' And since Ilya did lay the groundwork, when the media asks them about Ilya and Shane's 'have been friends the whole time' narrative, the Raiders are like, 'Yeah, he told us they were friends; we just didn't believe him.' Which makes the public opinion on their friendship largely positive but doesn't really change the overall timeline all that much just gives them some room to be publicly affectionate and kind of takes the heat off the fanmail gate bc instead of the public thinking it was an enemies-to-lovers hot sex in hotel rooms 9-year situationship with messy breakups and hookups in between they think it was a slow-burn friends-to-lovers situation filled with yearning and Queer self discovery which is more palatable to the public.

[kimberellaroo]

The other possible angle on this is that when it's really revealed, the Raiders don't want to seem like idiots for being openly told and not believing him for so long, so they go "oh y…yeah, absolutely, we've known they were friends forever" and that helps it seems like "old news, we're all over it already, what rock were you living under?" To the public. And then the Raiders get confused about how much Rozanov actually told them over the years in their barely-remembered, often drunk conversations, because he definitely said "friend", right? Or did he say boyfriend? Did he already come out and we didn't believe him? Anyway, it's a bit embarrassing to get homophobic about it now if we'd already been told years ago, so best to just pretend we knew and accepted it all this time

[hollanovbiter]

i do think in the hollander-rozanov household, ilya does the majority of the cooking. you can tell in canon he loves to act of service shane and make him breakfast/protein shake/ special dinner etc.

but i do think that ilya is also the dishwasher. he’s touching all the gross chunks in the dirty water so shane doesn’t have to. and wiping the counters and emptying the dishwasher.

but i also think that ilya is the designated grocery shopper. he likes to go after practices and go to the hot bar for lunch, and then bring home everything for their meal plan dinner. shane goes directly home from the practice rink to do his cool down recovery routine while ilya is shopping

and then it’s 6 months into their marriage and living together full time, and shane realizes he hasn’t set foot in the kitchen since they got married. hasn’t touched a dish, done any of the chores

and then he has to have a conversation with ilya about how he doesn’t need to do all of the housework- shane is a grown adult and can do the dishes when ilya cooks.

but of course ilya has reservations because he still has trauma from his dad- feeling like he needs to prove his love and worth or else the other person will resent him. but you know me, i am lazy so

i don’t know that side of you at all hollander cooks and cleans one night and forces ilya to sit down every time he tries to help. he makes ilya go into the family room and stay away. when dinner’s ready shane finds ilya on the couch asleep, and tears up a little with love for him. his little trauma ridden boy who he loves so much and wants to care for but doesn’t always know how to

[academicblorbo]

Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again

Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net

Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go

[florientius]

alternatively: shane comes out to his parents. no mention of boyfriend. so best momager and agent of all time yuna hollander asks around, does some sleuthing, goes undercover online and surveys the land for the most successful queer hockey player other than her son. imagine her surprise when she discovers from multiple sources that ilya rozanov might be gay. she arranges ads and promotions and sponsors for shane and ilya to do jointly. she hopes they hit it off and get together - only the best for her baby ofc - and she not so subtly asks after ilya from shane when they have a joint thing or an event where they meet. she is hoping, manifesting, praying and buying spells on etsy to have the two best hockey players in her family.

meanwhile every time shane and ilya meet up they fuck nasty, and ofc shane does not understand why his mom suddenly become a bears fan...

[ilyapasta]

So I think the way you know you suck at hockey (at the professional level, I know no one in the NHL actually sucks) is if you’re playing poorly and Shane Hollander is still nice to you. “You you did good out there, man. No sweat.” He’s mean to the players who have potential (“What the FUCK were you thinking Haas?”), or the really good players fucking up on bad nights. He doesn’t even talk to his husband out at Monks after Rozanov missed his pass on the power play (“I set it up perfectly for you, Ilya, if you’d just admit it then maybe I could help you fix it for next time—“) but he’s asking you about the kids and where you go for Christmas. You’re never getting off the fourth line bud. Actually, Hollander just bought you a beer, which means you’ll be back in the minors next week.

[regainingparadise]

OP you read my mind. I’ve been thinking all week that Shane is like that meme of Gordon Ramsey with kids vs Gordon Ramsey with adults

I mean, Shane is going to express himself wildly differently from Ramsey lol. But if you’re someone who Should Know Better and you play hockey badly, he’s going to murder you with his brain. If you suck but are a cocky shit, he’s gonna put you in your place. But if you are Doing Your Actual Best, he’ll privately think you should be sent down to the AHL and he definitely doesn’t want you on his line, and he might forget you exist sometimes, but he’s not gonna be cruel to you about it.

(He’s very polite and supportive about Rose’s brothers who never achieved hockey success. Wow✨ he almost got into the AHL✨ that’s great!✨ he tells Rose magnanimously)