Regaining Paradise

Fandoms: Magnus Archives, Heated Rivalry, Mandalorian, 911 archiveofourown.org/users/Marfisa_Librarian

[sadpearonmars]

During the agonies of expansion draft, now is a great time to propose my new PWHL rule suggestion.

Goalie Rage

When someone interferes with a goalie, the second goalie on the bench is immediately armed with an extra big goalie stick. (Imagine this like a Final Fantasy sword size stick) The second goalie then gets to skate around the ice for a period of time bapping the opposing team with the stick and skating headlong into them before returning to the bench.

This rule would provide necessary goalie enrichment, and frankly they deserve it.

[mythmagicetc]

ilya on his couch trying so hard to sound nonchalant: so is there a mrs real estate

[adamantineheart]

hilarious things happening in newark new jersey

[littlelezbit]

These are my fucking idiots. I've hitched my wagon to this ride. May as well enjoy the chaos.

[medievalthymes]

abby roque you are a montreal victoire forever

[nattyjayna]

embarrassment has good bones

[habitant]

ig story via eblais47

[systlin]

Another tidbit of Mando lore;

Mandalorians quickly figured out that Jedi mostly view blaster fire as “fun lightsaber practice”.

During the Mando-Jedi wars, they dealt with this in characteristically practical fashion; they used slugthrowers (aka ordinary firearms) instead, because if a Jedi tries to deflect a regular bullet, what happens is “A bunch of bullet shrapnel to the Jedi’s face.”

[systlin]

Jedi or sith; deflects blaster fire

Mando’ade, racking a shotgun; deflect this you wizard bitch

[beskarsexual]

Force Users: My reflexes are immensely more precise than the majority of the galaxy, I can deflect any kind of blaster fire

Mando'ade: good, try me

[penandinkprincess]

I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them

he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"

and ilya

[penandinkprincess]

reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"

and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-

"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"

"what are you talking about?"

shane: "i'm allergic"

"??? since WHEN??"

"since always??"

"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"

"jackie knows"

"WHY DOES JACKIE KNOW AND I DON'T"

[penandinkprincess]

yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"

shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.

[penandinkprincess]

he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"

and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??

[penandinkprincess]

A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.

B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.

C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-

[penandinkprincess]

@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD

@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!

[penandinkprincess]

shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-

oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.

and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.

also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.

[penandinkprincess]

GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-

and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."

[penandinkprincess]

MAN

shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.

but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.

this does, unfortunately, mean that he just develops a habit of just never saying ANYTHING when not directly asked lmao.

[penandinkprincess]

@riddlemaster101

i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail

for everyone else though??? cackling about people who have known him for literally fifteen years finding out about potentially deadly allergies ONLY because ilya is fucking interrogating the waiter at the restaurant. shane of Before just would have probably declined going and used his diet as an excuse because he didn't want to have it be A Whole Thing. now he has a husband to "he said no pickles" his allergies on his behalf, so he's straight chilling. 🤣

[hyphenemdash]

and what if i said they’re PraiseKink4PraiseKink? hmmmmmm????

shane is a more classic type. he wants to know he’s good, that he did it right, that he followed the rules and achieved the goal. that he’s the best, at whatever task you set in front of him. sucking cock, scoring goals, gagging, skating fast, taking what ilya gives him, weeding the garden. shane just wants to be given the rules and guidelines for everything so he can be absolutely certain he’s making the people around him ilya happy. and he wants to hear it. he wants ilya’s words, verbal confirmation of “yes baby exactly like that you’re made for me thank you for doing that for me god i’m fucking a king so so good baby”

ilya is a little more nuanced. outright praise he often brushes off because deep down, the little kid inside of him doesn’t think he deserves it. his mother left, his brother hated him, his father was constantly disappointed. nothing ilya did could or would ever be enough. but with shane, he is. fast enough, strong enough, good enough, loving enough, big enough, fucking him hard enough. and shane tells him in ways that he can digest, ways that settle deep in his bones and chase away the ghost of the words of his family. relying on ilya without ever second guessing that he’ll be there. trusting him with every facet of his life, professional and personal. deferring to ilya in front of an audience, highlighting his achievements like they’re both nothing to someone as good as ilya, and impossible to achieve for anyone else. choosing him, over and over and over and over.

and shane knows that, to and with ilya, he is good.

and ilya knows, to and with shane, that he is enough.

[gaynehollander]

I truly don’t think Ilya realises how physically attracted Shane is to him in book canon. He suspects Shane is gay and so knows he’s not in a position to be openly dating anyone and he knows Shane is an over-thinker who would obsessively worry about his secret getting out. Ilya is as safe an option as the come, a man who has as much (or arguably more) to lose if anyone were to find out about them. Supposedly there’s at least a level attraction there and the sex is certainly good but he caught Shane at a time where he was inexperienced and maybe would have wanted anyone who made his interest so blatantly obvious. Ilya’s more willing to actually compliment Shane, such as calling him beautiful in the prologue, while most of what Shane actually lets himself say to Ilya is closer to chirping, mostly calling him an asshole at every turn, telling him that Cosmopolitan ranking as the fifth hottest player in the NHL “does seem generous”. Ilya doesn’t actually take it seriously but all of Shane’s monologuing about how hot he finds Ilya is internal. He’s truly shocked when Shane says it aloud at the cottage because Shane has never actually verbalised how fucking attracted he is to him. Now, don’t get me wrong, Ilya know he’s hot shit, he knows he’s talented enough on the ice to capture Shane’s interest while almost no one else is and he knows he can make him lose his mind in the bedroom but he’s all the way in love with Shane and committed to trying to make this work before Shane ever allows himself to overtly thirst after him and there’s something so heartbreaking about him throwing himself in head first without expecting Shane to give an inch on that front.

[bisexualdinahlance]

Baby rpfer Luca is so entrenched in fandom now but tbh I think it'd be funnier if he was one of the people going around like "[hockey] RPF is hurting queer athletes it keeps them in the closet!! If people think they're gay because of your fanfic (or your URL) they could get in trouble!!" He has a custom made banner on every post that says "THIS IS NOT SHIP ART! RPFERS DO NOT INTERACT" I think the idea of hollanov once it was introduced to him (unwillingly) would've made it into his fantasies late at night but during the day he was fighting the good fight against the evil, thoughtless rpfers!!

[fieldsofpoppies-in-salt-air]

I think luca is actually ryan price levels of anxious about fitting in. throwing uo every day before games and practices and shaking his way through changing out

he doesnt tell anyone snd prays that they dont notice because its so embarrassing but he still feels out of place like a kid tagging along with his older brother and his friends

[thatwholethingwiththeduck]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Luca Haas/Original Male Character(s), Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Luca Haas, Original Male Character(s), Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers) Additional Tags: Spoilers for Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Coming Out, Hockey, Soft Hockey Boys, Gay Luca Haas, The Kingfisher (Game Changers), Luca Haas-centric, warning: roger crowell (mention), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Homophobic Language Summary:

Luca Haas meets another hockey player one night in the Kingfisher, and they stumble into a relationship.

[fizzseed]

i don't want you to think she was weak.

[komakesthings]

Very excited to finally share some pictures of my Dread Pirate Frogerts build! I've been thinking about making this outfit for my Kermit for a while now, but the proper motivation to actually get this done was hearing that Cary Elwes was announced as a guest for my local comic convention! So with any luck Dread Pirate Frogerts will be getting to meet the real Westley very soon.

A shocking amount of work went into making this little outfit... I completely underestimated the amount of time I would need to put all this together. Though a good chunk of that was me getting way too wrapped up in perfectionism... ask me how many times I re-did the smocking on the sleeves (On second thought, don't, it's embarrassing). Here I thought I had been con-crunching with Piggy last year... technically, I only just finished Kermit today, and the convention starts Thursday. Lots of internal (and external) screaming was had with this build. I did film the majority of it, with plans to turn it into a full video and reel in the future... maybe once I've had a chance to recoup from aforementioned con-crunch.

[hearteyesilya]

goose and her mission to kiss every victoire player

[sheepshot]