ⓘ𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒!・angst・mentions of minors drinking・insecurity ・mack being a bit jerk・arguments・lots of miscommunication・happy ending!! ・fluff・use of y/n ・2.6k words!!!
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 in which… macklin and y/n are three thousand miles apart and macklin’s attitudes towards their relationship started making y/n question about his priorities. was she really a priority in his life?
macklin had been really dry these past few days, not replying to me as often, leaving me on read, not answering my calls.
for a day, i thought it could be because he was tired, or maybe he was busy and that’s why he wasn’t answering me. it was a fact that this could happen.
we were more than 3 thousand miles apart and i understand that even our routines might not be matching.
until i received a video of macklin doing a keg stand at a party, videos and photos of him surrounded by girls.
he wasn’t replying to me because he was too busy with that?
i turn off my phone, upset. i sit down on the couch in my apartment that now felt much emptier.
i had been worried about macklin all day, asking if he was okay, if he had eaten, if he wasn’t too tired. too upset after losing the playoffs.
but he was at that damn party.
having videos and photos leaked with other girls when all he tried to do was hide our relationship from everyone.
i watch my favorite comfort show, trying to distract my mind, but all i could think about was him.
then, i grab my phone and call macklin. he doesn’t answer.
i take a deep breath, my eyes filling with tears. what if he had found someone new? someone better? prettier?
these thoughts consume my mind, my chest tightens and my breathing gets faster, as i start to panic and try to hold back my tears. but it was impossible.
i break down, tears running down my face as i sob.
i lay down on the couch, leaving my phone far away now, trying to rest, distract myself, anything that wouldn’t make me think about macklin.
and like that, i fall asleep with my eyes slightly swollen and red from crying.
the ridiculously annoying ringtone wakes me up, my head throbbing as i turn it off clumsily, barely caring to check who was calling.
i close my eyes and my phone rings again.
this time, i get up sleepy, sitting on the couch and seeing macklin’s name on the screen. i answer.
— hey baby, why didn’t you pick up? — it was noticeable that macklin was drunk from his tone, the way he spoke so slowly and the light random laugh.
— i was sleeping, macklin, what happened? — i asked sleepily, still hurt, but macklin seemed nowhere near that.
— i’m not feeling very good — he laughs — and i miss you…
— how much did you drink? — i ask and he seems to think about it, humming.
— just a little… — he says, making gestures even though i can’t see.
shit, he was only able to call me when he was feeling sick from being too drunk.
— you should go home, try talking to will maybe. — i say.
macklin seems to notice something is wrong.
— what’s wrong? — his voice was still slower, but now there were no little laughs.
for a moment, i think about saying it, but his situation wasn’t the best or most rational.
— nothing, we’ll talk later.
— later? — he sounded confused and i just agree. — okay.
a slightly uncomfortable silence settles.
— i’ll talk to will so he can take you home. — he doesn’t disagree, just thanks me, drunk. — take care.
i just hang up, sending a few messages to will, who replies quickly.
it was strange how it felt like me and macklin were complete strangers, even though we were together, it felt like there was a huge barrier between us. my chest tightened with that feeling.
that was the strangest conversation i had with macklin in our entire relationship.
i take a deep breath, going to lie down on my bed and just try to shut my mind off from all these negative thoughts.
as soon as i lay my head on my pillow, i grab my phone and type just one message to macklin: “let me know when you get home”
and then i fall asleep again.
the next morning, i wake up to some messages from macklin, where he said he got home safe, asking what happened and saying he wanted to talk.
i just send a message that said: “we can talk when you’re not too busy drinking, surrounded by women and ignoring your girlfriend all day.”
he replies pretty quickly, saying: “don’t be so dramatic, i was just having fun”
“you don’t need to be this jealous right now.”
i sigh, staring at the messages for a few minutes. i had no idea what to answer.
i was just so hurt by the way macklin seemed more distant these days, and he simply didn’t seem to understand that.
maybe because of the bad communication we were having right now or he just doesn’t understand.
i leave him on read, my chest tight, and spend the entire morning working on a college project. i had to cover local news that aren’t really explored by mainstream media.
a very interesting and dynamic project. but it was hard to try to research and focus when all i think about is macklin.
i checked my phone and he simply didn’t send any message, almost like he didn’t care that i didn’t reply.
i might be really stupid for wanting him to chase after me, relationships can’t be like that.
but i just don’t know what to do, i’m trying to be understanding, but i want him to understand me too.
i sigh, wanting nothing more than to cry and cry. shit.
holding back my tears, i go through the day.
at afternoon, macklin calls me.
i was sitting at the kitchen island in my apartment, eating some random takeout, and i answer.
— seriously? because of jealousy you’re just gonna ignore me the whole morning?
— it’s not jealousy. — i say, not looking at the phone.
— really? then what is it? come on, say it. — he sounded sharper now, no patience for anything.
i take a deep breath, looking at the eyes i love so much through a damn screen.
— i just don’t get it, you spent the whole day having fun, drinking, and you didn’t have a single second to reply to me? answer a call? what would it cost?
— i… — he pauses for a split second.
— i just forgot, okay? i was just having a good time, i was happy and didn’t notice your calls and messages.
he didn’t remember me for even a second?
i was far as hell, i could be in so many situations, and he just forgot about me.
maybe i was overreacting, but i was worried, i missed him so much, and it just feels like it’s not mutual. and that hurts so much.
— okay. — i end it there, thinking maybe i was making a big deal out of nothing.
he repeats. and the uncomfortable silence settles again.
that tense silence full of so many feelings that just aren’t said.
— just don’t do that again, text me, i worry about you. — i say, looking down, playing with my fingers.
and the conversation ends like that, with nothing more, nothing less than a “i miss you.” just that.
the week went by, getting closer and closer to the day he would return to san jose, but macklin seemed even more distant.
shorter messages, quicker calls, less affectionate messages, more follows on random girls. and with every second, i felt more insecure, less important.
was i still macklin’s priority?
my mind was completely consumed by these negative feelings, thoughts and questions.
but all of macklin’s actions lately made me question my importance in his life.
and i decide to break the ice.
so i call macklin, who takes a few seconds before answering.
— hey… — i start softly, and he answers back. — are you very busy right now?
— no, i was just talking to smitty, we’re figuring out where we’re going to eat. what’s up?
— nothing important, i just needed to talk to you.
his expression softens, but my chest hurts with his response.
— can we talk another time? i really want to talk to you right now, but we planned to meet my brother and some friends to have lunch together.
i sigh again, frustrated, but i just accept it.
— okay, have a good lunch.
— you too. um… take care.
my eyes fill with tears and i just start crying.
i was so overwhelmed with everything and i couldn’t even talk to my own boyfriend.
the afternoon passes, i could barely finish my lunch. i felt too lonely.
after a few minutes scrolling on x, i see some photos from sharks fans who ran into mack and will having lunch.
as soon as i scroll to the comments, the tears are already there.
people saying how macklin was extremely close to a blonde girl, how they already looked close in another leaked photo from that party.
people start commenting, shipping them. my chest hurts.
i spend the rest of the day without touching my phone, trying to do anything else that could distract me. i text kayla, a closer friend from college, and she comes over.
we talk about everything while eating ice cream and drinking sweet wine, a combination way too sweet that got me more drunk than usual.
the next day, i wake up later than usual. i couldn’t remember anything i did after the third glass of wine.
i get up, eating something while checking my phone, seeing more than 8 messages from macklin and 5 missed calls.
i open the chat and i see the messages that macklin sent
“what the hell are you talking about?”
“asshole? how am i making you suffer?”
“where are you? did you drink?”
“i have absolutely nothing with her, stop with this stupid jealousy”
“what the hell y/n, why are you putting this in your head?!”
“i’m not replying anymore, i don’t want to stress over your drama”
my eyes hurt with every message i read. it felt like a piece of my heart was being taken away.
i take a deep breath, closing my eyes, and just leave my phone in my room, trying to go for a run, do important work, watch my favorite show.
anything to get out of my own head.
and i stay like that the whole day, until my doorbell rings around midnight.
i was already in pajamas, ready to sleep. i get up and open the door, coming face to face with macklin.
shit, i had forgotten he was coming back to san jose tonight.
— what did you mean with all those messages? who’s putting that shit in your head? — he says sharply.
— i just said how i was feeling.
— so you were feeling like i’m an asshole, a cheater, yeah, sure, i can see that. — he was completely irritated.
— i think we should talk. — i say, ignoring his comment.
— oh yeah, we definitely should. — he bumps into me as he walks into my apartment.
i lightly place my hand on my own shoulder but pull it back, closing the door as i hear him.
— you ignore me, act jealous, complain about everything, fill your head with nonsense, i don’t even understand you anymore!
— you’ve been dry, distant, more arrogant, absent, you’ve been around so many girls and you just forget i exist, i’m your girlfriend!
— this again? — he asks, tired.
— yes. because this shouldn’t be normal! you’ve been ignoring me, judging me, pushing me aside, putting everyone else above me as your priority. — i pause. — it’s like i’m a complete stranger, like i’m an intruder in your life.
macklin’s expression changes, but he stays defensive. — that’s not true!
— you’ve been treating me like i’m nothing, i can’t even remember the last time you said you love me.
— i… — he starts, but i interrupt him, my eyes already full of tears.
— i’ve been feeling like i’m nothing, like you don’t love me anymore, like i’m not important, like you found someone else or even like you’re ashamed of me. — a tear falls.
— eight months, and a girl you’ve known for two weeks is seen with you more than me, and i’m your girlfriend! this isn’t about jealousy, it’s about priority! it’s about the fact that you’re putting everything above me, it’s about the fact that i don’t feel essential in your life anymore. the way you’ve been treating me like i don’t matter when all i want is for you to see me and understand me!
— but you are essential, you’re everything, but… you know how i feel about putting relationships online, i’m scared people will attack you.
— i know, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
— and about priority, you are my priority, you matter more than anyone else, i don’t know how you can think otherwise.
— because everything you do shows the opposite, the fact that you always put your friends before me, or even people you just met seem more important. — another tear falls.
macklin doesn’t know what to say. it was obvious you were his number one priority, between you and anything else, he would choose you without thinking twice.
he loved you with everything he had, but he was exhausted, he wanted a moment away from everything. he just wanted to have fun.
but that moment made the person he loves the most doubt his love, which he understands.
he had been rude for no reason, stressed, tired, maybe he should have talked, but he didn’t.
since that day, he hadn’t forgotten you for a second. you were stuck in his mind.
all he wanted was to come back to san jose, back to you.
but he was so frustrated with hockey, so mentally tired that he forgot how to show how much he loved you, especially now that you needed it the most.
— no one is more important than you. no one.
macklin looked like he was going to die right there, his expression drops. but he respects it.
the next morning, the doorbell rings.
the most beautiful bouquet i’ve ever received.
“i’ll stop loving you when these flowers die.”
my heart warms. not even caring about the card assigned by mack. i just appreciate the bouquet for a second.
i touch the flowers and notice one feels different. plastic.
i send a small message thanking him. he replies instantly.
the next morning, i wake up surprised getting gifted with the boots i wanted.
the next day, another gift. and another.
even though i liked being spoiled, it felt like i was being bought.
“thank you for the record player and folklore vinyl”
“but please don’t keep sending gifts, i loved them, but i don’t want to feel bought”
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you feel like that, i’m not trying to buy you, i swear, i’m just trying to find a way to fix things, to show how much i love you, even from far away”
“i’ll respect your time, and if this bothers you, i’ll stop, but i love you and i just want to make things right”
four days later, he comes back.
this time, everything feels lighter.
macklin doesn’t let go of me, hugging me, kissing me everywhere, holding me close.
— god, you have no idea how much i missed this. — he buries his face in my neck. — i swear i’m taking you with me next time, i don’t care where.
— i wish, but no one can know yet.
— i don’t care anymore. i want everyone to know i love you, i don’t want to be away from you again.
he rubs his nose against mine, bringing our lips closer. — i love you more.
author’s note: english isn’t my first language, but i hope y’all like it!! <33
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