Cailey

Time can never break your heart But it'll take the pain away

[dalishpariah]

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

[mintzy]

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in. When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer: Woman: But there are no people in here. Manager: Madam. The staff count as people. Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

[sparrow-va]

me: *walking in the house alone at night*  *sees a shadowed pile of objects out of the corner of my eye*

my shit anxious brain: 

[fluffytherapy]

[owlskitty]

excuse me?? this cat owes me an explanation

[sprachtraeume]

a zebra

[specialmemefresh-deactivated202]

[meleedamage]

Whenever I see a new gifset of Sebastian Stan…

My body is ready.

[allmirrcrs]

[sebastiansource]

[une-petite-souris]

Me in any situation with a feline regardless of what else is going on 

[ruthlesslysarcastic]

@fljotafnott

[mugglesofficial]

How are you lgbt?

I sent an application in and got accepted

[a4f101]

I got in through one of those recruitment drives they keep holding

[benjibright]

I collected the box tops and turned them in. Just paid separate shipping and handling.

[bunnygirlriley]

I forgot to uncheck a box when I was installing something.

[floorbananamotherfucker]

i found a rainbow ticket inside a chocolate bar

[nerdymouse]

A bird flew up and handed me a letter. 

[thelisp]

I was the one billionth customer.

[boymercuryx]

Sorting hat.

[naamahdarling]

went into a home depot on Pride weekend and it was a door prize like, weird, but okay

[wolfpurplemoon]

I forgot to install an adblocker and got a pop up on a website that congratulated me on being LGBT

[thisisntgoodbi]

I successfully forwarded a chain e-mail to ten LGBTQIA+ friends in the allotted amount of time.

[finnverbose]

It was hidden in the extra fees on my phone plan.

[asterosian]

Scratch off tickets

[ecto-gammat]

Kinda got stuck on my cable bill one month

[tawghasa]

It’s one of the benefits included in salary packaging

[when-it-rains-it-snows]

Honestly it just followed me home? It’s not like I fed it or anything it just showed up and never left.

[madmaudlingoes]

Found it tucked into the back of a library book.

[samjohnssonvt]

weird contaminants in the stream, that one campout.

[timberwolfoz]

It was in the sauce at the Bunnings sausage sizzle.  Or maybe the onion.

[squeeful]

I downloaded the app.

[samurljackson]

i deleted the (different) app. best mistake i ever made. :D

[tisfan]

I woke up one morning to find the queerfairy had visited.

[27dragons]

A friend gave it to me as a “happy divorce” present.

[lettersfromeleanorrigby]

Melissa Etheridge gave me a toaster.

[tielan]

God sent an angel and the glory of the Lord was upon me.

[sixth-light]

One of those really fancy Christmas crackers. All my sister got was a wine charm, hah. 

[ineptshieldmaid]

Imbalance of the humours

[arukou-arukou]

I was caught in a magnetic storm from space and emerged with LGBTQ+ powers.

[sagedarkwoods]

I entered a faery ring at the summer solstice. You know how it is.

[shiftingpath]

bitten by a bisexual. after the next full moon I emerged genderless and queer; also possibly a werewolf

[viridiansunlight]

A magician asked me to pick a card, any card, and I got an ace of queers

[astrakiseki]

Walked into a bar and didn’t duck.

[shego1142]

a rainbow-coloured comet crashed into my treehouse when I was a child

[miraniel]

I just kind of found it hanging out in the back of my closet, no idea how it got there.

[peppermintfeminist]

I have an unusually strong queer line on my palm. 

[paintbrushyy]

I went through the wardrobe and the LGBTQ+    Lion welcomed me.  

[my-undiscovered-city]

Fortune cookie

[neuroxin]

A penis once coughed near me without covering

[thealmostbear]

I threw a wish the well, don’t ask me I’ll never tell.

[vanjiebear-deactivated20200620]

It was part of my severance package from my last job.

[cubbishrubbish]

My pharmacist gave me the wrong prescription.

[notlostonanadventure]

It was that really recessive gene that only started flaring up once I got red in my beard

[tan-man88]

Santa brought it for me for Christmas one year

[redrunningfox]

I left an electric fan on in my bedroom with the door closed

[masterblaster]

I accidentally took my left earring out first, leaving the right one in by itself just a FRACTION of a second too long. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[neuroxin]

chem trails

[chibi-masshuu-deactivated202508]

Fell into a radioactive vat of spunk.

[part-y-deactivated20180810]

From a letter my great grandmother gave me. It was a blessing for me

[werethless-deactivated20190103]

I ate a banana too slowly to savor and enjoy it.

[lake--verity-deactivated2018090]

I kissed a boy and I liked it

[yea-u-right-deactivated20190716]

I was the 100th caller.

[zachofalltrade-deactivated20250]

After a long night of hooking, trade didn’t like the session so he had gutted me and set me on fire. But you know I didn’t die. I had crystallized. And now I’m a glamazon, bitch, ready for the runway.

[constantli]

He forgot to say no homo and it was done like that

[mikeymechakoopa-deactivated2022]

The feng shui in my house was a bit off and my bed was facing the queer direction.

[bearcubotterthingy]

I showed up to what I thought was a date with a beautiful girl, turns out I was their virgin sacrifice, but because I wasn’t a virgin, the demon they worshipped turned me gay.

[yawnquixano]

I made out with a guy to entertain a lesbian on her birthday. Apparently her birthday wish was that I never stop doing it.

[freexcitizen-deactivated2016110]

There’s no reason for anyone over the age of 21 to be having a conversation with anyone under the age of 18

[double-barrel-dude-deactivated2]

“For the last time son, I wont talk to you.”

[el-presidente-deadpool-deactiva]

“im sorry students, but this is the last time im gonna say this. Stop trying to talk to me”

[le-sad-demiurge]

“I’m afraid I can’t hire you, I cannot speak to you.”

[xxxtictacion]

“I would tell that kid to get off my lawn, but society isn’t ready yet”

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

“my new born baby just said it’s first word but I’m not trying to hear that” 

[sonypraystation]

“hello 911?!? help my parents are in a burnin build-”

“i dunnoo kid….you sound just a little young and….idk…. im not really feelin too comfortable with this” *hangs up*

[vegyta-deactivated20181007]

U ever juss…wanna hide ur face in someone’s neck and …. Sleep

[gifsboom]

[knusprig-titten-hitler]

[littlehobbit13]

“And I couldn’t do it.”

It kills me that “And I couldn’t do it” was to mean despite his hardest, Dean still couldn’t keep his brother safe. It was so cathartic to get to hear him voice that weight of being given an impossible task, but hearing him list all the ways he feels he failed to keep his brother safe broke my heart.

[bunnybugs]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[donzo1234]