Choke On Grapes, Bitch @calah01 - Tumblr Blog

바보세마리

I am constantly hurt by the callousness with which people dismiss the harm of restricting adult content and porn, only concerned about the knock-on effects for queer people and radical political groups. Sex workers ourselves matter just as much as non sex working queer people and leftists.

We are not canaries in the coal mine whose deaths you can dismiss while you frame groups you actually care about as the sole human casualties of these policies. I need you to care that laws like the Online Safety Act lead sex workers to have to return to abusive third parties to find clients or to work in brothels we hate or to such poverty that we starve. I need you to care about payment processors refusing to pay out for adult content because it means sex workers cannot rely on online work when selling sex in-person becomes too much for our bodies or too risky.

Please care about sex workers' suffering, rather than only the fact your favourite queer game was de-listed from itch.io and that you have to use a VPN to access adult subreddits without giving your ID now.

zouisbreakup

reblog to give a plushie to the person you reblogged this from

the-sol-eater-deactivated202604

do any of you remember that gumball episode where darwin becomes mega paranoid after watching a health and safety video so to quell his anxiety he goes out of his way to make everything kid friendly and inoffensive by propositioning it as being for the children and then he becomes a fascist at the end

deejaycoldcuts-deactivated20260

I’m never wrong

jeannemarieguyon

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Masking (33939 words) by BombusBombus Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent & Bruce Wayne Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Jason Todd, Lois Lane, Dick Grayson, Diana (Wonder Woman), Flash, Original Characters Additional Tags: Autistic Bruce Wayne, neurodivergent Clark Kent?, autistic masking, Bad coping mechanisms, Hurt/Comfort, Flagrant misuse of punctuation, Clark Kent hates truck nuts, Wikipedia contributor Clark Kent, Author refuses to write fight scenes, No really I hope you aren’t here for any action scenes, It’s just some superheroes with special interests, Extremely low stakes adventures, No Batkid angst, Minor Injuries, as a plot device just way too many times, city life as seen by a country boy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Kryptonite, Getting Together, they trust each other so much, Not Beta Read, Mutual Pining, but not with the angst that usually comes with mutual pining, It’s much more calm Summary:

Then he took a deep breath and he changed. He ironed out every fold in his posture and his face until he looked like Superman again. His shoulders were broad, his gaze was confident, and his smile showed no sign of embarrassment or fear.

It’s genuinely uncomfortable to watch.

Especially since Bruce knows that change. He’s seen it in the mirror before entering parties or nightclubs. He’s always referred to it, internally, as ‘putting on my better face.’ The façade is his least favourite part of the day, ranking just below 'getting punched by supervillains.’

The idea that Superman is just Kal’s better face, that would explain a lot.

It would also mean Bruce isn’t alone.

Bookmarker’s Notes:

I love this story so much 😍

kiachn

Superbat headcanon:

Clark goes to interview Bruce Wayne. He expects either a flirtation by Wayne or just talking business. What Clark DOESNT expect, is to have Wayne, a multimillionaire/billionaire, info dump about Gray Ghost because nobody else would listen to him talk about it.

Now, when Clark leaves Wayne Enterprises, he knows all the Gray Ghost lore. What is he gonna do with this knowledge? He has no idea. But atleast Bruce looked happy infodumping on him.

garpen

And Clark finds the infodumping and passion so adorable he develops a crush on Bruce. Bruce finally meets someone who let's him infodumps and doesn't seem annoyed by it and develops a crush on Clark bc of it.

And then they date and fall in love, your honor.

batsupernova

Yapper x listener duo is superbat except bruce gives no input to the conversation and shows no indication that hes listening to a word clark is saying while clark yaps for hours about whatevers on his mind

Everyone feels bad because it looks like Clark is fighting for just a second of attention and bruce is just being cruel and ignoring him but really hes been taking mental notes for the past 20 minutes while Clark explains the impact of 80’s music

And it doesn’t even stop there—dick walks in on them both sitting on the couch in the living room, Clark talking fast and loud about a movie he saw with Lois last week while bruce stares at him with his blank ‘i-have-no-emotions-because-im-batman’ face; and he’s so confused because clark is grinning so wide and is not at all put off by Bruce’s wet cat attitude

Then later Dick comes back to look for his hoodie and he finds 5 pages of notes on the movie and an extra page that explains the plot in 9 paragraphs and he’s like “oh okay”

Anyways If you couldn’t tell this is inspired by David Corenswet being more than slightly neurodivergent in like all of his interviews because i feel so seen whenever he opens his mouth

mild-and-hammered

The thing about Superbat is: at least Clark looks like he’s normal about Bruce. But he isn’t.

Bruce is weird about Clark all over his gothic mansion like a character in a novel. He is, at any given time, one slip away from gazing at his picture in a locket.

Batman is weird about Kal El all over the Batcave. He studies his blood, runs tests, asks questions, kisses his lips. Tries to determine if Kal El’s teeth are like regular or if he’s got extra set like a shark. Kisses his lips. Kisses his lips. Kisses his lips. He’s got a pet alien and he’s very fond of him (kisses his lips again).

Clark does a great job of seeming normal about Bruce. They go on regular dates where Clark makes cheerful conversation at the dinner table while Bruce presents him with armfuls of sunflowers.

Kal El does NOT do a good job of being normal about Batman.

He knows Bruce’s heartbeat, his safe blood pressure range, his average breath rate, that his body temperature runs two-tenths of a degree lower than what is considered normal. He sets enrichment up for his pet detective. Mystery novels fed to his beloved, brain teasers, crosswords, unsolved cases. He brings Batman to the fortress of solitude to watch him lose himself in Kryptonian mechanisms and data. Kal El draws his symbol in blue ink over Bruce’s heart so his detective can wear his symbol, if only until it washes away.

The basis of their relationship is they’re deeply abnormal people who love each other very much and also want to put one another under a microscope.

angstandhappiness

Yeah

bubblefine

you're barking up the wrong tree there dude. or, haunting up the wrong apartment imao

this was obviously inspired by this post by the awesome account of @nicktoons-unite-incorrect-quotes !

werm-on-my-way

hc that danny just sees wanda and cosmo's true forms

milkymiks

Jason just finished up apprehending the foreign pricks that decided they should deal drugs to kids, telling Oracle to call the GCPD to deal with the clean up, when suddenly a glowing mass barreled on to him. He winced as he fell on his ass, his hands automatically wrapped on the handle of his gun. He lifted his face to look at what clung to him.

It’s a very handsome man with white hair, dressed like royalty with a floating crown, and the man also emits a faint green glow. Said man is also trembling and Jason realizes that fat globs of tears are running freely down his face.

“Jason!” The man gasped, arms clinging tight around his waist, He buried his face on Jason’s neck.

This is all very weird to Jason. He ignored the twinge on his chest as he brought the gun to the man’s head, who froze when he felt the cold muzzle pressed to his head.

“Who are you?”

The question seemed to dismay the man, as tears fell harder from his sculpted face. He sighed and pulled back from Jason’s neck, the gun following the movement. He sighed and pulled a small sad smile on his face.

“I expected this to happen” he murmured, He paid no mind to the gun digging on his skull to rest his forehead against Jason’s.

“Would you believe that we are lovers and that I've been trying to find you this whole time? and now that I found you, you’re full of nasty ectoplasm which might be the reason why you don’t remember me?”

Jason scoffed “as if i’ll believe that bullshit” seriously why was this nutjob clinging to him? The nutjob only sighed again “right” he murmured before plunging his hand inside Jason’s chest.

Jason yelled at the unexpected intrusion, finally pulling the trigger on the gun but aimed at the shoulder, only weirdly the bullet seemed to go through him. Fuck.

Weird sensation of sifting happened inside him. The man only looked Jason dead in the eye as he did what he did while Jason desperately tried to get away from him. pushing at his shoulders and chest with both hands, kicking his sides, only the man didn’t budge, like he was made of steel.

“What are you doing?! stop!”

“I’m filtering the corrupt ecto in you, it really did lock away a lot of your memories. Stop struggling, I don’t want you to injure yourself”

Jason did not, and as if the man expected it, took the hits with no problem. After a few more moments, he finally reluctantly took his arm out of his chest -It’s weird to see his chest still intact when it felt like his insides were being messed up- He looked up at Jason with hopeful eyes, then faltering when he was met with cold indifference.

“You still don’t…?”

Man the guy sounded wrecked, He found the wrong guy it seems and unfortunately Jason doesn’t feel bad, He was just violated by the man.

“Oh man, I know it’s you Jase, I can feel it! Why won’t you remember?” The man whimpered, and Jason could definitely hear the sound in his dreams if only this weren’t a bad time.

“I’m sure you got the wrong guy, now can you get off me-?” Jason was cut off by a growl, A fucking growl coming from the man before him who looked angered by the prospect that Jason isn’t the person he was looking for.

“I’m not wrong! You just don’t fucking remember!” He groaned -oh god are those fangs?- before taking Jason’s face in both hands and smooshing their lips together.

It hurt and it was awkward at first, The fangs nicked Jason’s bottom lip, before the man adjusted and suddenly Jason is experiencing the hottest makeout he ever had in his life. Oh and the man is still growling for some reason, but it’s oh so hot, and Jason might die because of the nutjob, and oh god he has a very long tongue, it’s actually reaching down his throat and isn’t that super hot?

Then flashes, memories that he does not remember having, flying by and seemingly returning to it’s spot in his brain. Memories of him and Dick in his fuckass Discowing uniform, sitting on top of a building sipping slushies together. A peaceful dinner with all of the family at that time without Dick storming off. Barbara attempting to teach him code. Saving a boy falling from a fire exit who’s holding a camera and looking at him like he hung the moon. Danny…

Memories of his time as a ghost still wearing the robin uniform came back, How through the years in the realms, and months in Danny’s home dimension, the two slowly fell in love.

“I’m supposed to take over and officially be King once I’m mostly done with my education, or so Clockwork says. Does that mean you’ll be my Queen?”

“Rude, you haven’t even proposed to me”

Danny threw his hands up in exasperation “We’re still minors!” Jason fake sniffed “You’re not even courting me properly…” Danny just stared at him, in fondness or irritation.

“I cannot kill this ‘Joker’ for you when I don’t even know how to go to your dimension, I already took Freakshow’s core as a placeholder for now” True, Jason has the clown's core in a mason jar in his room that he sometimes shakes when he’s bored. So he kisses Danny’s cheek and watches in satisfaction as his lover’s face turns red.

The last memory he had before he was revived and force filled with anger. So the Lazarus pits are just fucking waste ectoplasm.

Jason can feel when Danny pulls out -the tongue literally shoved down his throat retreating- and looks at him concerned while Jason absentmindedly stares at his face. The man in front of him is his long lost lover, who is now King judging by his attire, and who has been looking for him all this time while Jason lost the memories of their precious time together.

Jason let out an ugly sob, then another, and another, as tears bursted from his eyes he had to take off his mask. He threw himself in Danny’s embrace as he continued to cry, Now Danny is crying again, but of happiness as he pulled Jason to his lap.

“I knew I came back wrong, I just didn’t know what” Jason murmured, He felt a hand carding through his hair. “It’s okay, I found you and we’re together again” Danny said, Jason can feel a rumbling from his lover’s chest and smiled.

“Can we go home? I miss you and the castle”

“I think you only miss the castle, fucking favorite” Danny teased

“Not my fault she likes me better than you”

Danny stood up, carrying Jason with ease. Jason settled comfortably on Danny’s arms as the man started making a portal back to the realms. He really did get stronger and more handsome the years they were apart, Jason can’t wait to discover new things from his lover.

“Stop!”

Both of them turned their heads to see Batman and a few others from the justice league rushing to them.

“Fuck, Danny hurry!”

Danny shifted Jason in his arms so he was only holding him with one, and tore a glowing green portal through the space in front of them with the other.

Oh fuck that was hot, Jason needs both of them in Danny’s bed right about now.

“Red hood!” was the last thing they heard as they stepped through the portal before it vanished.

systlin

People who get uptight about modern 'spicy' books and smut on AO3 should go read some Georgian and Victorian erotica.

I need you people to go read Fanny Hill and The Flea and then get back to me if that stuff didn't kill you instantly.

hbatfam98

I saw a post that said the reason joker hates jason is because once he saw Jason say a joke and the batman laughed so hard it seemed like he had been hit with laughing gas but it was just cos the joke was so funny (I would reblog it but I can't find it now) And yes, I love this so much because:

1. Fuck you joker, little kid Robin is funnier than your pathetic ass can ever dream of being and he wasn't even trying

2. Imagine the angssst if Batman ever found out. Either because of a visit to arkham or because one of joker's lackeys confess.

Batman is already broken. He lost his son. Because he let him be Robin. He exposed him to the worst of Gotham. He failed to protect him.

But to learn that he was the reason Jason was targeted? Sweet little Jason, out on patrol and Batman had let his guard down for a moment- let himself laugh, let himself feel the joy he had long decided he didn't deserve. And it got his son targeted. It got his son killed.

Batman breaks more. He winds himself tighter. It was his fault for thinking it could be different. But he is Batman, he is vengeance, he is the night. He did not deserve light like Jason in his life but he had gotten greedy and his son had paid the ultimate price.

Never again. Batman pushes himself to the brink. No nights off. Bruce wayne pretty much disappears from the public eye. ...Tim notices batman is getting too reckless.

... Tim becomes Robin. Batman winds himself tighter. He has a son to take care of again. Yes he isn't as reckless anymore because he can't afford to be - he has to look after his son. But no more letting his guard down. No goofing off on patrol ever. Every move they make is focused purely on safety and efficiency. And of course Tim notices.

Tim notices that none of his patrols look like the pictures he took of Batman with the old Robin - smiling, gentle, playful. "I'm the replacement Robin," he thinks, "I must not be good enough of a Robin yet to deserve the gentle batman." So he pushes himself. He winds himself tighter.

Eventually Batman notices (or Alfred points it out to him) so he let's go a little. Tim feels like he fits in, like he deserves the mantle of Robin. Time passes, and Batmam feels like he has a semblance of family again. Bruce wayne starts going to galas again, with his new adopted son. And sometimes, he even laughs.

But every time a laugh is ripped out of him, the guilt hits for daring to laugh again and he stops just as abruptly. How selfish he must be for letting go again, for experiencing the same joy that killed his Jaybird.

Red hood comes to Gotham. Chaos ensues, then batman realises his son is back. It takes a while but Jason starts visiting Wayne manor from time to time. Jason has a relatively good relationship with the rest of the family now. Jason starts to laugh again, he starts to make jokes like he used too. But Jason realises Bruce never laughs at his jokes anymore. He never makes jokes to Bruce, they aren't quite there yet, but he'll crack a joke to his siblings when Bruce is in the room and sometimes Jason's eyes will wander over to him.. remembering when Bruce used to try so hard and fail to hold back that smile that actually reached his eyes, sometimes even barking out a laugh. But Bruce never laughs at his jokes anymore - he just goes stiff.

"Maybe Bruce doesn't think I'm funny anymore. Maybe he never did. Maybe now that he has better sons, funnier sons, he doesn't feel like he has to pretend anymore. ... or maybe Bruce used to think I was funny. But now, after the pit, I don't make the same jokes. And Bruce doesn't like the jokes from me now. Bruce only loved the old Jason, not me." Jason doesn't know which would be worse.