DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME.

((IC Bloodswap Caliborn Blog))

[ulmicubiquarian-blog]

then let Us hope i do not triple die!  it woUld certainly be caUse for many a contemptUoUs eye roll shoUld i break the boUndary of stUpidity any fUrther.  yoU are invited to triple follow, however. ~_u

that i am! :U  do yoU not like conversing with cherUbs dominating cherry red blood? i can’t say i blame yoUr trepidation towards the alignment.

[calibest-blog]

DO NOT LIKE. IS PUTTING IT FUCKING MILDLY. EVERY RED-BLOODED CHERUB. THAT I HAVE EVER SPOKEN TO. WAS A TOTAL DOUCHEFUCK.

OH LOOK. THIS CHERUB IS MY SISTER. AND SAYS SHE WANTS TO WORK TOGETHER WITH ME. NO WAIT SHE’S EVIL. AND THIS CHERUB IS ME BUT RED. CAN HE BE THAT BAD A GUY? YES HE’S TERRIBLE. IT’S LIKE THEIR VEINS ARE FLUSH WITH RED HERRINGS. BUT THE ONLY SHITTY TWIST. IS THAT THEY ARE ASSHOLES.

[ulmicubiquarian-blog]

@calibest

bit excited there, aren’t we? ~_~

anyhoo. it is a pleasUre to meet yoU! always interesting to discover those who have been “swapped,” for lack of a better term. it brings to mind the chance that it is not yoU who is swapped, bUt i!  a terrific scandal that woUld be. 

[calibest-blog]

I WASN’T EXCITED. THIS TERRIBLE WEBSITE WAS JUST BEING TERRIBLE. AS USUAL. AND MADE ME FOLLOW YOU TWICE. WHICH IS ABOUT AS STUPID. AS BEING DOUBLE DEAD. FOR INSTANCE.

BEFORE WE BEGIN TALKING. I NEED TO MAKE SURE. WITH UTMOST CERTAINTY. THAT YOU ARE A LIME BLOOD. LIKE ME.

[knightofnxthing]

I’VE BEEN TAGGING ALL OF IT AS NSFW, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU LIKE IT TAGGED AS ?:B 

SORRY, YO. MY FUCKING BAD. 

[calibest-blog]

WHAT? NO. I DON’T BLOCK NSFW. I FIND MOST REFERENCES OF ALIEN REPRODUCTION. TO BE AS INTRIGUING. AS IT IS BIZZARE.

JUST TRY. TO KEEP EVERYTHING OF A SERPENTINE NATURE TAGGED.

SERIOUSLY. THERE ARE FUCKING CHILDREN ON THIS WEBSITE. PROBABLY.

[calibest-blog]

@knightofnxthing

CRAB TROLL. I KNOW THAT WE HAVE ONLY SPOKEN ONCE. AND BRIEFLY. BUT PLEASE. TRY TO CUT DOWN ON THAT KIND OF INNUENDO. OR AT LEAST. TAG IT?

I DON’T HAVE TIME. TO BE DISTRACTED. BY SUCH LEWDNESS.

[tentiginousteratologist]

If I had purposefully dedicated any part of it to memory, you’d find I was making it a habit to break every last term. Although you could say much the same for me - I live in a small collection of people who would be subject to total anarchy if not for the presence of a practiced government official and his various can subjects.

Ordinarily internet friends are made off of something more substantial than broken ice. Nothing carries their friendship like a shared fondness of the Old Ones.

But I’m curious about this passive-aggressive fanfiction, so I suppose you’ve accidentally succeeded in starting us off on a very fulfilling discussion. Good work.

[calibest-blog]

THANKS?

THOUGH I MUST ADMIT. THERE IS NOT MUCH THERE TO SATE. YOUR CURIOSITY’S APPETITE. FOR THE DELICIOUS STEAKMEAT. THAT IS CHOICE FACTS.

THE WRITER OF THE SHITTY FANFICTION. WAS MY SISTER. SHE PARTICULARLY ENJOYED SENDING ME STORIES. THAT CONTAINED THINLY-VIELED CARICATURES OF MYSELF. THAT WERE LIKE ME. EXCEPT MORE TERRIBLE IN EVERY WAY.

THOSE CARICATURES. OFTEN FOUND THEMSELVES IN BAD SITUATIONS. WHEREIN THEY FAILED AT EVERYTHING. DIED. OR DID BOTH OF THOSE THINGS. IN EITHER ORDER.

THAT’S IT.

[janecrocks-blog]

They want to “Get to know the future head of the company a bit better!” and to ask me if I have decided on it yet. And most likely, they want to put some pressure on my decision. 

[calibest-blog]

I SUGGEST IGNORING THEIR INVITATION. ENTIRELY.

AS A FELLOW VICTIM OF MIND GAMES. I HAVE FOUND. THAT THE ONLY WINNING MOVE. WOULD BE NOT PLAYING.

[tentiginousteratologist]

You’re very observant.

I’m not sure what else there is to say outside of “creepy crawlies and literature excite me.”

Maybe that by virtue of there being more under the umbrella of creepy crawlies than the Nobles and their less aristocratic brothers in prehensile appendages, that my allure seems to include most, if not all, cryptids and the zoologically dubious.

And that my interest in books almost entirely excludes informational texts about electronics.

[calibest-blog]

WAIT. YOU DON’T READ ELECTRONIC INFORMATIONAL TEXTS? THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A VERY GOOD IDEA.

THOUGH THEY ARE VERY LONG. AND COMPLICATED. AND MAKE YOU WANT TO GNAW OFF YOUR OTHER ARM. OUT OF BOREDOM. THEY ARE THERE TO HELP YOU. YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY MISUSE YOUR ELECTRONIC DEVICES. OR BREAK THEIR TERMS OF SERVICE. WOULD YOU?

IN FACT. I ONLY STOPPED READING THE LATTER. WHEN I REALIZED. THAT THE LAW NO LONGER EXISTS ON MY PLANET. ON ACCOUNT OF EVERYONE BEING FUCKING DEAD.

TO ANSWER YOUR SMALL HASHTAG WORDS QUESTION. I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE. ABOUT BOOKS AND HORRORTERRORS. SINCE THE ONLY BOOK I’VE EVER SEEN. WAS A TOME. OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE FAN-FICTION. AND AS A PROSPIT BRO. MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN LACKING. IN THE TENTACLED NIGHTMARE MONSTERS DEPARTMENT.

I WAS ONLY TRYING. TO “BREAK THE ICE.” AS THEY SAY. IN PLACES THAT HAVE ICE. I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT. THAT IS HOW YOU MAKE INTERNET FRIENDS.

[calibest-blog]

@tentiginousteratologist

SO. I HEAR. BY WHICH I MEAN I SEE ON YOUR POSTS. THAT YOU LIKE HORRORTERRORS. AND BOOKS?

TELL ME ABOUT THAT.

[painted-bees]

Character solidifying!

[rockinrpmemes]

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have? 2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have? 3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings? 4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient? 5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered? 6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child? 7. What was the economic status of their family? 8. How does your character feel about religion? 9. What about political beliefs? 10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted? 11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated? 12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations? 13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates? 14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected? 15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED? 16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike? 17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When? 18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember? 19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now? 20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced? 21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate? 22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner? 23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex? 24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? 25. What are their hobbies and interests? 26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance? 27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality? 28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice? 29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling? 30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive? 31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate? 32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively? 33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health?  34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous? 35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures? 36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering? 37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? 38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic? 39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid? 40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one? 41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony? 42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? 43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back? 44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them? 45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic? 46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body? 47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible? 48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish? 49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent? 50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

[cachemia]

MY “DEAL”? DO I HAVE A “DEAL”? MY DEAL IS THAT I’M PERPETUALLY FUCKING EXHAUSTED AND NEITHER OF US WANT THE INEVITABLE WORDVOMIT THAT WOULD RESULT FROM YOU DEMANDING THIS PARTICULAR BREED OF SELF-EXAMINATION FROM ME. 

MAKE THIS A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC AND GET BACK TO ME.

[calibest-blog]

YES. PLEASE TRY TO AVOID VOMITING WORDS. FROM YOUR BIZARRE ALIEN MOUTH HOLE. I THINK WE COULD ALL BEAR BEING. A LITTLE MORE SUCCINCT. IN OUR MESSAGES.

WHAT I MEANT. BY “YOUR DEAL.”  WAS NOT COMPLICATED. I JUST WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR INTERESTS. OR MAYBE. YOUR HOBBIES? ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF.

YOU KNOW. THE KIND OF STUFF. THAT YOU SAY. WHEN YOU WANT TO START. AN INTERNET ACQUAINTANCESHIP.

[calibest-blog]

@cachemia

HEY. COARKAT TROLL. 

I WOULD LIKE TO. CORDIALLY INVITE YOU. TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOUR DEAL IS.

[calibest-blog]

I’M KIND OF BUSY RIGHT NOW. ON ACCOUNT OF BEING. A HUGE FUCKING DEAL. SO I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME. TO TRY TO START A CONVERSATION.

HOWEVER. AS I WORK TOWARDS ACHIEVING MY ULTIMATE DESTINY. IT WOULD BE COOL. IF SOMEONE. COULD TALK TO ME. WHILE I GRIND KEY-FINDING QUESTS.

[dirkstrider2]

A fact about myself is that I do poorly in conversations.

[calibest-blog]

SAME. ACTUALLY.

BARRING ONE. FAYGO-SCENTED OCCASION. I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY SPOKEN. TO ANYBODY IN PERSON.

PLUS. I DON’T THINK MY SPECIES. IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE FRIENDS?

SO I KNOW A THING OR TWO. ABOUT NOT BEING THE BEST. AT TALKING TO PEOPLE.

[dirkstrider2]

I understand perfectly.

[calibest-blog]

SO FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. IT ISN’T HARD.

[calibest-blog]

@regalstuntpony replied to your post “@regalstuntpony​ @exforma​ @virxdian @hellspawner I’M TOO BUSY. WITH...”

I'm regalstuntpony.

I ALREADY FUCKING KNEW THAT. THE PURPOSE OF THE POST. WAS TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER?

YOU KNOW. TO START A CONVERSATION.

[calibest-blog]

@regalstuntpony​ @exforma​ @virxdian @hellspawner

I’M TOO BUSY. WITH ENDLESS TEDIOUS FETCH QUESTS. TO MAKE INDIVIDUAL GREETING POSTS. SO.

I’M CALIBORN. WHO ARE YOU.

[calibest-blog]

GOD. YOU’D THINK. AFTER HAVING COLLECTED. HUNDREDS UPON HUNDREDS. OF GODDAMN KEYS. THAT THE GAME WOULD GIVE ME. SOMETHING ELSE TO DO?

BUT NO.