🦄 Hi, call me Wyn!
💜Agender (She/They) // 30s
🌈Episcopalian & LGBTQA+ // Furry, Whump, & Kink Enjoyer
🟣 Art Tag 🟣 Writing Tag 🟣 Ao3 🟣
🔞 This blog may include NSFW and controversial content. It is not intended for minors. 🔞
I do art and writing. This is mostly a space for me to share stuff I like, like frogs and the color purple! I make original content as well as fanart. You can generally expect things like Fallout, FFXIV, Baldur's Gate, and Star Wars. There's also furry stuff now and then.
I try to tag intuitively. Followers are welcome to send me asks to tag specific things if they want to filter something!
While quite introverted and sometimes slowed down by a physical disability, know that I appreciate you stopping by my hoard of shinies, and any likes/reblogs/comments/asks you leave behind!
Fanart/fiction is welcome as long as attribution is given! Reblogs are welcome and encouraged, but please do not repost or reupload my art or writing anywhere.
🔵 Previously @lookbluesoup
✨ Scholars of Nym FFXIV Discord ✨
Major Ships & OCs under the cut:
All FF14 Characters
All DnD & BG3 Characters
Main OCs
main tag includes everything + aesthetics, fandom tags are au-specific only
Nate ( ffxiv / bg3 / fo4 )
The hero with a bleeding heart, Nate is a charismatic leader who loves animals and struggles with severe PTSD. He will do anything for family.
Lyra ( ffxiv / bg3 / starfield )
Lyra is a wiley and temperamental villain who's dragged kicking and screaming into a change of heart when she's forced to team up with the "good guys."
Tsimh ( ffxiv )
Tsimh is a blisteringly confident healer and bard with an amorous streak. While the matriarch lacks her little brother's wanderlust, she'll come to Nate's aid when asked.
Mal
Belongs to my partner @seasaltandcopper :3
Multi-Universe Ships
SILVER LININGS : Nate / Mal
Nate is a hand reaching out and Mal is a knife in the dark. At first glance, they have little in common. And yet, in life after life, incarnation after incarnation - even when they should be enemies, when they have every reason to hate one another, they choose love.
FIREWHISKEY : Lyra / Mal
Two hotshot rogues form an alliance of convenience, and then inconveniently fall in love. Even worse, they might just start to bring out the best in each other. They're not exactly good people... but hey, what's life without a little mischief and murder now and then?
Final Fantasy 14 Ships
VERHEART : I'lyrha / X'rhun Tia
X'rhun Tia saves an injured lass, and she asks him to teach her Red Magic. It's a common enough tale, except this time the damsel is really a notorious pirate in disguise. I'lyrha thinks this will just be another easy con... but she might have met her match in a charming Crimson Duelist.
SILVER FULLER : Nahte'to with: A'mahl / Haurche / Aymeric / Alisaie / G'raha / M'naago + Persephone / Kore / Hades
A catch-all for the various romances and trysts of two polyamorous catboys who travel the world (and save it a few times.) Variety mix. Love, loss, hope, tragedy, snark, slow burns, friends to lovers, lovers to enemies...
GUIDED BY MOONLIGHT : Tsimh / Thancred
Tsimh and Thancred are determined to make no promises to one another, except that whatever is between them is to be nothing more than a fun, temporary, diversion. Menphina laughs.
Baldur's Gate 3 Ships
BLOOD OF MY BLOOD : Lyra / Astarion
Used to looking out only for themselves, Lyra and Astarion know a thing or two about manipulation. Oh yes, they know exactly how to sacrifice, seduce, and satisfy. They're so good at their tricks, in fact, that they trick themselves right into falling in love.
STILL WATERS RUN DEEP : Naithan / Gale
Lonely hearts don't mend easy. For wandering Druid Naithan and master of the arcane Gale, navigating the intricacies of romance poses a challenge most formidable. They'd both do anything for someone they love, and desperation to save one another may ultimately be their undoing.
[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]
One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.
I felt better that it so much as mentioned that children can react to abuse with ungovernable rage. Everybody likes the image of PTSD patients as internalizing everything and becoming doormats, which does happen, and often, but it's not the only narrative. Personally I've always hated my abusers and have always wanted everyone who so much as breathed wrong in my direction from ages 0 to 18 to burn eternally in hell. I *never* thought any of it was my fault and ever since I was a toddler I was willing to make it everybody else's problem, and it's really relieving to read a clinical perspective that acknowledges that abuse victims can act that way too.
It's wild to me that its such a neglected subset of abuse victims. Its really common. When I still lived with my parents and was still subjected to my father every fucking day I would lash out terribly at my mother, to the point when i went to visit them for years afterwards she was afraid I would lash out again. We've worked it out, I'm a much better person when I'm not regularly subjected to mental and emotional abuse, but like, its just so common.
I think it must be, at least partially, because, people hate the imperfect victim. Its easy for so many people to sympathize with someone who never lashed out. Less so for people to sympathize with people who are angry and lash out. Even though its a perfectly sensible reaction to being hurt over and over. I'm sure most people would like to think they would simply never.
I don't think this is the whole reason, but, I think it plays into it.
Similarly, there’s a narrative of, you cannot experience grief over having fucked up. That if you are hurting because you caused harm, because you were the cause of harm, that you’re not allowed to grieve, because you “earned your sorrow. You deserve to bottle it up and to hurt for the bad things you have done,”
Which is punitive logic. It’s copthink. Which is bad.
In fact, you can actually give yourself trauma over fucking up too badly and doing, witnessing, or failing to prevent something evil that goes against your morals; for instance, if you steal your mother's life savings due to drug addiction, kill a civilian during a military operation (please do not join the military), or became abusive because you didn't have the tools and skills yet to handle BPD. In the field of psychology this is called "moral injury" or "perpetrator trauma."
Wordle is running out of words. Only 2,000 five letter words remain. When that supply is exhausted the Creation shall begin. One day the word will be ZHURM, and all shall get it, and all shall understand it to mean "an ache from suddenly remembering a long-ago friend, who meant something to you once, but whose face you can no longer conjure". The next day the word shall be JOROL, and all will get it, and all will know it means "the melancholy confusion of passing by somewhere where you once could have died". The next day it will be GREFT, and all will understand it to be a small brown bird with white streaks found only in South America, and suddenly, it will appear, in the shrubs of the Atacama desert, in the streets of São Paulo, and all will know that it once was not there, but now, will always be
